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Was the strict Polish family the reason for our break-up?


michaelss 1 | -
9 Sep 2011 #1
Hi,
I'm new to the forum. I recently just got out of a relationship with a Polish girl. I thought everything was great but she broke up with me saying her family would never let us marry. She is 100% polish and I'm half polish have black... Is this normal in a traditional polish family? My grand parents don't seem to hav any problem with hmy fathers decisions.
beckski 12 | 1,617
9 Sep 2011 #2
I thought everything was great but she broke up with me saying her family would never let us marry.

It's not her family you'd be marrying. However, if you two decide to get back together, her family may create infinite problems between you two.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
9 Sep 2011 #3
Becksi is right. She will ultimately side with her family. This is true in the great majority of cases given their family-oriented nature.
PWEI 3 | 612
9 Sep 2011 #4
Is this normal in a traditional polish family? My grand parents don't seem to hav any problem with hmy fathers decisions.

Some Poles find it far more acceptable for their son to have a black wife than they would for their daughter to have a black husband.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
9 Sep 2011 #5
How do you know? Where can I buy the survey results or is it census data? ;)
noreenb 7 | 557
9 Sep 2011 #6
I think Polish traditions have not much to do with it.
She just made her decision based on something you don't understand yet.
Did you ask her what was the real reason?
It's just a first safe excuse that came to her mind I think.
Anyway, good luck with other girlfriend.
:)
Seanus 15 | 19,706
9 Sep 2011 #7
Noreenb, don't be so naive. How long have you lived here?
noreenb 7 | 557
9 Sep 2011 #8
Why do you think I am naive?
I am not naive.
I believe in tolerance. Tolerance is a value. I don't like racism.
If I wanted to be with a cool African or French African... etc, I would do this, is it so strange to understand?
pawian 177 | 14,567
9 Sep 2011 #9
=noreenb]She just made her decision based on something you don't understand yet.
Did you ask her what was the real reason?
It's just a first safe excuse that came to her mind I think.

Exactly. That`s what I first thought, too. Family objection was just a pretext.

Sorry, after a short period of fascination, she realised it wasn`t what she wanted.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
9 Sep 2011 #10
Of course I believe in tolerance, noreen. I wasn't making that point at all. I was merely stating that family values play an integral role here. There is no getting away from that.
noreenb 7 | 557
9 Sep 2011 #11
Emm, you know, family shapes values in many ways, but, the most important values are inside us. They do not dependable on upbringing. They are shaped by character. And what it is: religion/God, work, family, children, tolerance, joy, happiness, sport (lol), country, culture, independence, whatever, it's a different story...

Good night.
:)
pawian 177 | 14,567
9 Sep 2011 #12
I was merely stating that family values play an integral role here. There is no getting away from that.

You are wrong.

Or better, you are mistaking two things. Young Poles have been independent for too long to listen to what their parents tell them. The matter of their agreement or disagreement to their kids` private business as marriage is totally irrelevant for your people in today`s Poland.

I don`t believe that girl is so dependent on her racist parents. If she was, she wouldn`t have started going out with that boy at all.

Seanus, isn`t it obvious?
Seanus 15 | 19,706
9 Sep 2011 #13
There are exceptions, pawian. Look what I said in post 3.
emha - | 92
9 Sep 2011 #14
I'm half polish have black... Is this normal in a traditional polish family?

ask your mother or father
rat_eater - | 4
11 Sep 2011 #15
If you are half-black, her family will lynch if you try anything. They might change their minds if you're from either West Europe or N.America and want to marry their daughter. Of course, once she marries you and moves to the West, she will vasnish, along with most of your money. lol.
LwowskaKrakow 28 | 431
11 Sep 2011 #16
she broke up with me saying her family would never let us marry.

Her family is racist but she does not have to follow these idiots, it 's her life not theirs.
If she really loves you she ll stay with you, if she prefers to obey her family 's choice then let her go because who wants to marry someone immature who does not stand by her man ?
teflcat 5 | 1,032
11 Sep 2011 #17
If you are half-black, her family will lynch if you try anything. They might change their minds if you're from either West Europe or N.America and want to marry their daughter. Of course, once she marries you and moves to the West, she will vasnish, along with most of your money. lol.

What do you know about it Rat? You say you are Indian living in Singapore, then you are Chinese and asking for information about illegal activity in Poland. Why not do everybody a favour and **** off?
poland_
11 Sep 2011 #18
I thought everything was great but she broke up with me saying her family would never let us marry. She is 100% polish and I'm half polish have black... I

She just made her decision based on something you don't understand yet.
Did you ask her what was the real reason?
It's just a first safe excuse that came to her mind I think.
Anyway, good luck with other girlfriend

Why pull the race card here " michaelss " noreenb seems to have the answer.
gazzaroon - | 36
11 Sep 2011 #19
I do know from friends that Poles tend to listen to their families a lot and so there could be real influence from them to end the relationship for a multitude of reasons. The relationship has ended and you need to accept that, no matter how painful, and move on to someone who doesn't have that baggage.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
11 Sep 2011 #20
Well said, gazza. You tend to be right on the mark.


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