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How to propose to Polish women?


dandovell 1 | 1
17 Jul 2009  #1
I would like to marry my Polish girlfriend, but I'm not sure of the formalities as far as rings, appropriate length of time to be engaged, and last name changing. In the U.S., we have an engagement ring given to the girl at proposal and then both parties exchange "wedding bands" or rings for the wedding. The engagement ring usually has the diamond. Then as far as last names, the girl typically takes on the last name of the man. Is this the custom in Poland? Dziekuje bardzo:)
Jihozapad
17 Jul 2009  #2
I took her out for a posh meal, proposed, bought her an engagement ring soon after, then we arranged the date. Much less complicated than you think, lol. She hyphenated her name by adding mine on (which makes it easier after divorce too, HAHA).
jump_bunny 5 | 237
17 Jul 2009  #3
According to Polish tradition, a proposal should happen in her family's house.
terri 1 | 1,620
17 Jul 2009  #4
The engagement ring should cost at least your monthly salary. Anything less is not worth having.
Before asking the girl to be your wife, you MUST ask her father for her hand. If you do not do this, - this is an affront and shows you have no manners. Only when he agrees, can you ask the girl.

The girl does not have to change her name. A lot of married women still go under their maiden names.
Jihozapad
17 Jul 2009  #5
According to Polish tradition, a proposal should happen in her family's house.

We do things differently in the UK :p

Before asking the girl to be your wife, you MUST ask her father for her hand. If you do not do this, - this is an affront and shows you have no manners.

her dad died, I asked her mum tho :)

The engagement ring should cost at least your monthly salary. Anything less is not worth having.

Yet another reason why marriage is decreasing in popularity!
Barney 14 | 1,469
17 Jul 2009  #6
you MUST ask her father for her hand

.....and he says....you have had everything else you can have the hand as well.
Bartolome 2 | 1,085
17 Jul 2009  #7
Before asking the girl to be your wife, you MUST ask her father for her hand.

Remnants of feudalism ended in Poland some 150 years ago.

How to propose to Polish women?

You've got some astonishing sights there in the USA, take her to the Great Canyon or Niagara Falls or wherever, wait until you're alone with her, then kneel, pull the diamond ring out of your pocket and just pop the big Q... You may witness tears of joy, who knows :)
beckski 12 | 1,617
18 Jul 2009  #8
In the U.S.,

You two can always go to Las Vegas and have quickie wedding.
Jihozapad
18 Jul 2009  #9
You've got some astonishing sights there in the USA, take her to the Great Canyon,

On top of that new glass walkway would be pretty cool :)
OP dandovell 1 | 1
20 Jul 2009  #10
Yes, asking the dad for approval certainly is respectable and shows manners, however her parents are divorced and she didn't introduce me to her dad (only her mom) even though we were in the same town (Elk) for almost a week. So, I guess I wouldn't propose in her home either (good advice though Jump Bunny) and probably will not ask her mom's permission. The idea of a hyphenated last name is a possibility as she will be a doctor and primary breadmaker in the family and might want to keep her name and sense of pride. What name would our kids take on? As for the engagement ring, I guess I should spare no expense, eh?
jump_bunny 5 | 237
20 Jul 2009  #11
The best thing to do is to first propse to her. After she finally says yes, you can both decide how should it look like officially. She will know best whether she wants proposal in her house or whether she wants you to ask her mother for permission etc. The price of a ring wouldn't matter to me, what matters is the moment but obviously it depends and each person has different expectations.
Sun and Moon 2 | 28
28 Jun 2010  #12
Before asking the girl to be your wife, you MUST ask her father for her hand. If you do not do this, - this is an affront and shows you have no manner

is it true for all ages or has relaxation for elderly age. siting in uk and peeping through so deepl the polish society your observations are really remarkable.
alexw68
28 Jun 2010  #13
Remnants of feudalism ended in Poland some 150 years ago.

Feudalism did. The remnants, however, persist.

I announced our engagement to the family when my wife and I got hitched 14 years ago. Let's just say the fact that I didn't take the old boy aside with a view to 'a serious, man-to-man conversation' beforehand made for a tense afternoon.

He got over it soon enough though.
smurf 39 | 1,982
28 Jun 2010  #14
D something different and unusual, most polish lads I know did that stupid thing with the ring in the champagne and that's really boring and sad

you're supposed to ask permission for the Dad but ya dont really have to if you've been in a long term relationship.

also just to say, ,i'm not married and wont get married as at the moment the tax rate is better for me being single :P
OzPolak
1 May 2014  #15
Hi All,

I'm from Australia, and like in the U.S, the tradition for us is to give a diamond ring on proposing. The only problem is, my gf (who is from Poland, and is currently there at the moment, but will be moving over roughly in 6 - 8 mths) isn't a big fan of diamond rings. As our wedding bands, she prefers to only have the standard matching bands like they have in Poland. Normally a gold one. They are both the same, but the men's is bigger than the woman's. I'm not a big fan of having matching gold bands - For starters, I prefer to have a titanium or platinum band. Has anyone had this dilemma about what to propose with, instead of a diamond ring? I was contemplating on just a diamond and she can have it set whichever way she likes, or diamond earings maybe? Any help would be great :)

Thanks
Dont gag me yo 7 | 156
1 May 2014  #16
You've got some astonishing sights there in the USA

I took my wife to the jersey beach hired a plane with the banner and asked her on the beach was 25 years back though and cost then was 50 bucks now is almost 250 bucks..but what the hell!
Magdalena 3 | 1,837
2 May 2014  #17
The engagement ring should cost at least your monthly salary. Anything less is not worth having.
Before asking the girl to be your wife, you MUST ask her father for her hand. If you do not do this, - this is an affront and shows you have no manners. Only when he agrees, can you ask the girl.

What a load of tosh. Unless maybe your experience is limited to some lower-middle-class backwater and/or to the very newly rich ;-)

AFAIK proposal and marriage arrangements vary widely from couple to couple and depend on their personalities, circumstances, family background, you name it...


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