@Crow.. well honors aside there are obstacles to this change in plans ^_^Silly man
And it is long distance mostly because of his schooling had he not had 3 classes to finish out he wouldn't be in Poland right now. We do well apart and in same house. It didn't change our relationship dynamics to spend a summer. He has spent the second year bucking his family (mostly mother) over this and I think he was so relieved at their sudden capitulation he is caught unwary.
checked out the available facilities/support for the boys. They came to the conclusion it would be much wiser to put the boys needs first, the wife would go back to work in the states
^ THAT is what worries me most
I am taking advantage of every benefit on his behalf I can, though the onus of his day to day living will fall on me if he is not mainstreamed in next 5-6 years. Right now, this place where my mom lives is so isolated here in US he is getting close to zero therapies. Not all states are equal. Poland would have less than zero.
Hunny is looking at money that could support us with me not working, and there is certainty in the contract. That is what tempts him. But been there-done that. I grew up with a trust fund that was dissipated before I reached majority. I got two years of engineering out of the dividends that had been put in a working account and when I turned 18 (21 was majority) it was suddenly gone. Lesson? I NEVER count on "expected" outcome or "possible" earning. Plus family that hires you can just as quickly (and legal repercussion free) fire you.
My other 3 big worries (6-9-10) are in the negative likelihoods that Dom.. numbered out.
I do not think that us starting in Poland best for long term outcome. To keep communication open I would not just shut down the idea.
But in my stomping grounds I can get him a job at a certain engineering firm that refurbishes aircraft within about 3 months of his being legal to work. Or job with a cousin ..4 to chose from.When I come out of retirement hiatus ( took early painful cashout of 401 K and left army when my youngest first had problems then autism was diagnosed and been living off that for 6 years, a lot went to gruesome court battles. I win each one but they cost)
I can go USPS and he can optionally do some p/t school to translate over his diplomas and be the manwife ( ^_^). My family and friends here liked him, though were wary at first, and are supportive of us here.
I have to present the argument with his original assessment plus points I can find here. It is not me just wanting MY way or saying NO ..USA til death!
Sure if one leaves out the factors of my kids (daughter happily pursuing college and fiancé. Older son is about as caring where he lives as I am) ::::::
..it would really just be a crappy time while getting a small circle of friends and learning passable Polish. But I just don't equate crappy time with good start to new marriage.
Paperwork stuff is not as big a deal. I have my legal documents together. Was still holding a top secret before separation from service. I have held SCI. I am a little on the broke side but I have no debts. All my personal belongings would fit in a large moving "Pod".
I have all of my marriage, divorce, support records and then some in triplicate (former military). I am green-lighted by catholic church to remarry within the church. I have no health problems any newer than those I grew up with that were bad in youth, but not so bad after all. For all my butter cooking, bacon munching. No cholesterol problem. No heart problems. Sugar or wotnot.
I'm definitely NOT moving unless he already has his own place. That I've put my feet into the ground over and have already thrown out there. And he is spoiled for space and amenities, so I just don't see him getting a place he is comfy with in any salary but the family business. Heh ..another minor problem. ...vehicle. Unless I ship my own. He drives a Mercedes of a size that makes me cringe. Aieee! His dad has nice crew truck and mum has a minivan.. but... *see Dom's list #9*
I know it seems dithery of me to worry on all this, but I've simply been thrown for a loop with this VERY abrupt suggestion of my going there. Especially from a person who has been very practical for entire time in acquaintance as well as relations.
(I would have responded sooner but my net was out for hours... stupid 'Superpolar' weather system)
He is homesick and maybe not thinking straight. Moving from Poland to the USA could be a bit of a shock to the system and generally immigration is not that easy, first two, four years are worst. So that maybe be it. If feasible go for a few weeks to Poland for a visit. As for moving to Poland tell him to get real, unless you are financially well off and you don't need to work to support yourself or he can provide for you in Poland. You are a woman tell him off on two levels - financial and emotional, then smooth it with visit to Poland. You asked I provided:)
Yes, I suspect the realness of not being in Poland for some time is finally biting him; as well as grasping hopeful straw that mother Is burying hatchet in location not in my torso.
Maybe a visit is in order, so he can see the realness of my being a fish out of water where in USA he'd merely be bird without flight. I guess his personal family is upper middle class with double black sheep parents, with tons of academics in family teaching in universities and two sets of very well endowed grandparents. He is only male of his generation on either side.
So he has a lot of expectations on him as well as probably spoiled some. (I 'm in love yes... but not flitterpated I see him for flaws as well as strengths)