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Please help in this long distance relationship (I live in Canada, she is in Poland)


19canadian19
29 Jul 2012 #1
Hi, I don't really know where else to turn with this:

- I've been in a relationship with a Polish girl I met on the internet for the last few months
- Its terrible being apart
- We feel like we are missing what should be the best time of our lives
- We are both in university
- I live in Canada, she lives in Poland
- There are family complications on my side that prevent me from just being able to see her in the summer before my school starts
- We are both 19
- We both have fears about our relationship and are scared that its crazy and people will think we are stupid
- But we have both talked about it and right now we really want to be with each other

So, what would you do in this situation? Would it be completely stupid to defer my year of school and go to be with her? I can tell she is hurting from waiting so long to meet me, and I feel terrible because my family has put me in a really unfair situation, but I don't want to hurt them either. But I'm afraid if we miss this year of being together it will damage our relationship and I might regret it for the rest of my life...
Wroclaw 44 | 5,385
29 Jul 2012 #2
Please help in this long distance relationship

only u and your partner can sort out this problem
rybnik 18 | 1,461
29 Jul 2012 #3
But I'm afraid if we miss this year of being together it will damage our relationship and I might regret it for the rest of my life...

If you two were meant to be together, waiting a little longer won't hurt a thing. It'll make the "heart grow fonder". Continue your studies (don't mess that up); continue Skyping with each other until the day you will meet face-to-face. I'm an old fool, who believes in the power of love.

Hang in there!
Bieganski 17 | 901
29 Jul 2012 #4
I've heard stories of people who start internet romances only to break up as soon as they finally meet in person. Go visit each other during a short holiday period instead. Planning to defer your or her studies for an entire year is misguided.
f stop 25 | 2,513
29 Jul 2012 #5
Enjoy your internet romance as long as you can!
Chances are that this will always be the best part of your relationship.
Postponing school for a year for someone you have not met yet sounds pretty stupid.
golddigger
29 Jul 2012 #6
Chances are that this will always be the best part of your relationship.

Very well said:)
boletus 30 | 1,366
29 Jul 2012 #7
Would it be completely stupid to defer my year of school and go to be with her?

Definitely yes.

I can tell she is hurting from waiting so long to meet me, and I feel terrible because my family has put me in a really unfair situation, but I don't want to hurt them either.

You would not be the first one to be in the position when family / money / inheritance / or whatever reason actually wins over "the true love forever and ever".

One example is described in "Trędowata" (The Leper (female)) by Helena Mniszkówna, the most famous Polish melodrama.
The story takes place in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century. It describes the tragic story of love, which cannot be consummated because of social prejudices and bigotry of members of aristocratic families. The title character is Stefania Rudecka, a petty gentlewoman, a governess in the home of Countess Elzonowska, aunt of Ordynat Waldemar Michorowski. The magnat overcomes the obstacles and engages Stefania. However, due to harassments and intrigues the girl gets sick and dies early on the day of the planned wedding.

Thousands and thousands of servants and cooks cried their eyes out for the tragic fate of poor Stefania.

Another example is opera "Halka" by Stanisław Moniuszko.
Act 1

Guests at an engagement party are happy to note that the wedding of Janusz, a wealthy young landowner, to Zofia, the daughter of an even wealthier landowner named Stolnik, will unite two huge estates. Sofia and Janusz celebrate a toast with Stolnik, and Stolnik calls Janusz the son he has always wanted. The party is disturbed by a plaintive wailing from outside. It seems to be a troubled young girl, crying for her lost love. (...)
This is Halka (Helen). To the audience's surprise, she appears to know Janusz. It turns out that he himself is her lost love; he promised her marriage while in her village in the mountains but then disappeared. (...)

/wiki/Halka

Three more acts to follow, ended with tragedy... Even Jontek, a young Highlander still in love with Halka, is not able to help.

Here is Jontek's great aria ("The fir trees sigh on mountain peaks") from the 4th Act of "Halka" by Stanisław Moniuszko performed by the legendary Polish tenor: Józef Homik - live recorded in 1995 on the stage of the Silesian Opera in Bytom, Poland, during one of the spectacles within the frame of the 50th Anniversary celebration of that operatic scene.



Let not the "bosun chest" of the "young" góral disturbs you. :-) It is the voice that counts.

I did not mean to be mean and pessimistic, I just meant to show you how melodramatic you sound. One year is a blink of an eye if you two are meant to be together, and a blessing if this is a mistake.
jon357 67 | 16,836
29 Jul 2012 #8
Would it be completely stupid to defer my year of school and go to be with her

Yes. You've never even met her, can only guess what she's actually like (and you may be unpleasantly surprised) and even if you had met this person (are you even 100% sure she's female?) allowing a teenage crush to interfe with your studies is a very very bad idea.

You say you may regret it if you don't meet. I say you will regret it more if you do.
Mzeex - | 2
1 Aug 2012 #9
I suggest going for an exchange study, or apply for a language course, if you really want to be with her.
I ended my 2,5 years relationship with an Aussie guy whom I met for only 6 weeks. We could still drag on, but I see there is no chance for us to meet.

So, you know, think it through. If you don't think it can't move on, better let it end soon.
imano 10 | 42
4 Aug 2012 #10
if you can't go to her. let her come to you during the vacation.
JesseAU - | 2
4 Aug 2012 #11
The success rate is slim to none.
Veronick1
31 Jul 2014 #12
Hi there, maybe I'm a bit late with posting this...idk
I'm struggling with the same problem
Love of my life lives in Canada and I live in Poland
The ticket is too expensive,that's the biggest obstacle. I would have to work really hard and earn money for this freaking ticket.We met on internet,but i really feel like he's the one and only and I'll never find anyone like him.

Take care.


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