Would it be completely stupid to defer my year of school and go to be with her?
I can tell she is hurting from waiting so long to meet me, and I feel terrible because my family has put me in a really unfair situation, but I don't want to hurt them either.
You would not be the first one to be in the position when family / money / inheritance / or whatever reason actually wins over "the true love forever and ever".
One example is described in "Trędowata"
(The Leper (female)) by Helena Mniszkówna, the most famous Polish melodrama.The story takes place in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century. It describes the tragic story of love, which cannot be consummated because of social prejudices and bigotry of members of aristocratic families. The title character is Stefania Rudecka, a petty gentlewoman, a governess in the home of Countess Elzonowska, aunt of Ordynat Waldemar Michorowski. The magnat overcomes the obstacles and engages Stefania. However, due to harassments and intrigues the girl gets sick and dies early on the day of the planned wedding.
Thousands and thousands of servants and cooks cried their eyes out for the tragic fate of poor Stefania.
Another example is opera "Halka"
by Stanisław Moniuszko.
Guests at an engagement party are happy to note that the wedding of Janusz, a wealthy young landowner, to Zofia, the daughter of an even wealthier landowner named Stolnik, will unite two huge estates. Sofia and Janusz celebrate a toast with Stolnik, and Stolnik calls Janusz the son he has always wanted. The party is disturbed by a plaintive wailing from outside. It seems to be a troubled young girl, crying for her lost love. (...)
This is Halka (Helen). To the audience's surprise, she appears to know Janusz. It turns out that he himself is her lost love; he promised her marriage while in her village in the mountains but then disappeared. (...)
Three more acts to follow, ended with tragedy... Even Jontek, a young Highlander still in love with Halka, is not able to help.
Here is Jontek's great aria ("The fir trees sigh on mountain peaks") from the 4th Act of "Halka" by Stanisław Moniuszko performed by the legendary Polish tenor: Józef Homik - live recorded in 1995 on the stage of the Silesian Opera in Bytom, Poland, during one of the spectacles within the frame of the 50th Anniversary celebration of that operatic scene.
Let not the "bosun chest" of the "young" góral disturbs you. :-) It is the voice that counts.
I did not mean to be mean and pessimistic, I just meant to show you how melodramatic you sound. One year is a blink of an eye if you two are meant to be together, and a blessing if this is a mistake.