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Different Attitudes of women born in Poland towards relationships?

mrgrumpy 1 | 3
9 Mar 2009 #1
In general, do Polish women have a different attitude towards dating and relationships than elsewhere (such as in the UK)..?

are boyfriend/girlfriend relationships more casual, is the process of courting any different?

How do friendship/relationships compare, is one more important than the other? I would guess that it depends on the circumstances..

sorry about all the questions, sometime ago I met somebody from Poland who is very important to me and sometimes I think its a requirement to be some sort of mind reader to figure out how I fit into her life.
Banford 1 | 19
9 Mar 2009 #2
sometimes I think its a requirement to be some sort of mind reader to figure out how I fit into her life.

This is not exclusive to Polish women ;-)
chi 1 | 33
9 Mar 2009 #3
This is not exclusive to Polish women

What's more, I'd say this is not exclusive to women!!!....;)
mira - | 115
9 Mar 2009 #5
I think it's more or less the same in every country.Also, for some,a ralationship may be more important than friendship and for others it's the other way round. You should never generalise:)

Each person is different.Maybe you should talk with her about how she feels and what does she expect from you?
It's the easiest way to find out.
OP mrgrumpy 1 | 3
13 Mar 2009 #6
thanks for the replies. I'm trying not to generalise as best I can, but I think I need a little help in trying to work this girl out. We have had a complicated relationship going on, and I really wanted to confirm to myself if that was as a result of cultural differences and if I could of approached the situation any better.

finding out what she expects of me has been difficult, it has been very hot and cold, on and off and recently I tried to confront her and it did not go well; To the point where I may have to consider moving on. its a terribly complicated situtation to explain and frankly could wear out my keyboard!!

One day I would really like to get to the end of my learning polish cd's and practise a little polish in the country itself; until recently we had been teaching each others language to each other (incidentally, if anybody is interested teaching your language to another person is a nice way to get to know them better, always carry a notepad and pencil with you!)

The annoying thing is, I now have a finely tuned Polish woman detector as I work in London the damn thing keeps mis-firing. I find the accent most attractive, and if the attitude towards life is common and similar to the girl I met, I would very much like to met somebody else from Poland!
mafketis 37 | 10,904
13 Mar 2009 #7
In sum total the kinds of attitudes people have in any culture are the same.

What's different is the percentages. Majority opinions in Poland about lots of aspects of relationships is different from those of most English speaking countries.

One thing to understand. Polish people are hardly the most romantically inclined in the world. There are hardly any examples of love stories in Polish literature and the courtship phase is often glossed over even in movies and soap operas and the mass importation of Harlequin-style romance novels is hardly 20 years old. Also, until comparitively recently divorce was generally avoided.

One result of all this is a set of attitudes that are more common in Poland than in the UK. And a lot of this good. Overall Polish women have more realistic attitudes towards marriage than anglophone women who get caught up in Cinderella or Sex in the City fantasies. And despite the importance of weddings I've never heard of a Polish bridezilla yay! horray!).

At other times the different attitudes cause people to butt heads like mountain goats.

Often Anglophones enter into relationships without much thought given to the future. The idea is to see how the relationship evolves and/or leads. Generally a woman will get definite ideas about where it's going before the man but often enough neither is thinking of the long term at the beginning.

A larger percentage of Polish women want to know where the relationship is headed more quickly (relax, they're not into talking about the relationship and micro-analysing your behavior but they want to know where they stand very early on). Basically out the outset a relationship is categorized as probably leading to marriage and kids or a fling.

If it's a well-probably-get-married relationship you don't have to start planning the wedding today or tomorrow but the idea is there and she'll expect you to start acting like a husband before you actually get hitched (like letting her in on your financial planning, women control household budgets in Poland). This isn't much of a problem as she'll probably do a better job than you would. On the other hand, regularly scheduled (or frequent) nights-out-with-the-boys (or girls) are not the norm in Poland and drunk-boyfriend behavior is not seen as funny, cute or endearing.

If it's a fling, she'll drop you in a heartbeat (no matter what she's said) at the prospect of a better relationship (or another more interesting fling). A psycho-drama involving reported hospital stays or disapproving parents may be created for your benefit to avoid a confrontation (and or keep the road back to you clear if she has second thoughts).
OP mrgrumpy 1 | 3
14 Mar 2009 #8
thank-you mafketis for taking the time to write; I think I found a broken one (polish girl that is!), some of what you write rings true whilst other things help my confusion, your last paragraph makes me sit back and think for a moment. I do very much appreciate an external opinion.

we have been seeing each other on-and-off for about 4 years, and it reached the status of off recently. One of out first dates was traveling to Paris for the weekend, and we repeat this habit with going to many different places with each other. This accumulated into an invitation to come see her and her family in Poland. I've never been sure what she's felt for me until recently, where things started to accumulate to the point where I needed to confront her again about her feelings. We have shared some very special moments together with each other and she was my partner in crime, no matter how much her life changed she'd always have the intention of keeping me in it.

She has always insisted we are friends, but whenever the subject would come up, or I'd try to have a discussion with her about feelings, she would reacted very badly; avoiding the whole issue by either running away or just refusing to have the discussion at all. This is how things currently are. The closest I ever got to the truth was a story about an ex who hospitalized himself and this was the reason behind her behavior, but I'm beginning to question whether this is true or not, although this information was not presented to me easily on her part. I've always felt if I had kept my mouth shout and not tried to press the subject that the relationship would have reached its natural point.

I think I shall stop posting here; this subject is getting far too personal for an internet forum and I'm not quite ready to deal with things nor may this be appropriate. I'm just looking for answer and I think I got something in relation to wondering if her behavior was cultural or not (it quite clearly is not cultural!) I need too find a healthy way of dealing with all the mess.

again thank-you so much for the replies, I've been lurking for a bit and you seem like a nice bunch of people.
mafketis 37 | 10,904
14 Mar 2009 #9
I'm just looking for answer and I think I got something in relation to wondering if her behavior was cultural or not (it quite clearly is not cultural!)

I wouldn't be so sure about that. It's not only the reasonably well-adjusted and functioning people that are influenced by culture. Damaged goods get damaged in ways that are influenced by culture (and react to their damage in culturally influenced ways).

From what you've written I have a vague idea about what might be at the root of this (a very tenative guess but it fits with what you've described). You can send a personal message if you're interested (and want a less public airing).
Seanus 15 | 19,672
21 Feb 2010 #10
They give themselves away too often. It's like they try to show love for you but they are really not very good at it. I have seen the same trait in each Polish woman that I've had an encounter with. They are caught up in their own emotions and the man is just sb to be there for their needy ways. Women always want to be made to feel really loved but more and more men I talk to can't handle their demands and would much rather play sport or drink beer. They hold too much inner stress and only the soppiest new-age man will let himself be treated as a punching bag.

The Polish women I've been with have brought out some of my worst emotions, they really are a handful. What's more, there's almost always a past BF lurking in the background so on go the rugby boots and into touch they go.
Exiled 2 | 425
21 Feb 2010 #11
Polish women showing love?When?They show some love till they get the money.They are not grateful.Ukrainian are grateful.
Seanus 15 | 19,672
21 Feb 2010 #12
Exiled may have a point here. Gratitude is in short supply. When the money has been obtained, it's back to arms length again.
Exiled 2 | 425
21 Feb 2010 #13
This is exactly what turns one mad on polish women.Say just a thank you.It is not our obligation to support you but we do it from orthodox generosity.Just say thank you like Czech,etc.
strzyga 2 | 993
21 Feb 2010 #14
well Exile, if you get sex for money, then it's strictly a business deal, so what do you expect?
Seanus 15 | 19,672
21 Feb 2010 #15
LOL, that's a fair point :)
Exiled 2 | 425
21 Feb 2010 #16
They are not professionals.They have low-paid jobs and get money from here and there.I had only one polish girl who had not asked for money and she asked as well.I am devastated.

They know all the words in Greek for fuckking,d1ck,anal I cannot understand how quickly they learned them.One wants to introduce me to her sister to bang her as well as to her girlfriends in the village.The other brought her cousienka and they all look alike cousins sisters I just call them kochanie.

But these lesbians here in Prague were funny.They told me:I like my small city in Morava more than Prague.-Why?Because in Prague too much work too little sex,in Moravia too little work,too much time for sex."

Here I choose work.
strzyga 2 | 993
21 Feb 2010 #17
I had only one polish girl who had not asked for money and she asked as well.


It seems that either you are the type that no sane girl would sleep with for free, or you've got a real talent for spotting the wh*re-like types.

In either case, I'd advise you to go for professionals - at least you know what to expect. Seems like fair deal to me. The more classy ones might even say "thank you, sir" afterwards.
Seanus 15 | 19,672
21 Feb 2010 #18
If only as part of the sense of service ;)
Exiled 2 | 425
21 Feb 2010 #19
I regard them as normal girlfriends.The only problem is their insatiable desire for
money and when a girl tells you,please give me
money otherwise I will be thrown to the street your duty as a man is to comply.But if the next damn day says again

please give money to save me,there have to be some lies.
Also polish women like Russian girls play very well on manliness issues(for example if you are a real man you have to support me and men usually fall in the trap(except Slavic men who are a superior category).
walesboy 2 | 30
21 Feb 2010 #20
hi im 18 male from uk looking for a polish girl to meet when i visit warsaw next month thanx for any replys

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