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Age difference in relationship with a guy or girl from Poland?


SingleFemale 2 | 55
12 Jul 2014 #1
Hi, just curious about your opinions people.. what do you think is the ideal age difference for relationships(I'm talking of man-woman relationships)? I hear there should be a maximum of 5 years(whether the man or woman is older). But then I also hear and know of relationships with more than 5 years' difference that have withstood the test of time, and others with less than 5 years' difference whose relationships that have just gone with the wind?(lol).

I know that some people might say that age doesn't matter but then...shouldn't it also be a relevant factor when considering a new relationship? Or does it have to depend on who's older or younger?

Thanks and awaiting your relevant opinions. =D
Dont gag me yo 7 | 156
12 Jul 2014 #2
I think man can be 10 yrs older and a woman 5 years older..then again depends on individuals.
maluje
12 Jul 2014 #3
some people might say that age doesn't matter

Age does matter in most relationships. Why? Because, biologically and psychologically, man and woman have different rate of maturity. Women tend to mature faster than most men. It's difficult for a mature woman to live with an immature man. More especially so, if the woman is extremely particular about little things. I believe that in order for most relationships to work, the level of maturity for the man and woman has to match. And it's difficult for both to even try to be "in sync" with each other's maturity, because it's not something both can control, or change overnight.
Magdalena 3 | 1,837
13 Jul 2014 #4
if you are truly mature, you don't sweat the small stuff ;-)
OP SingleFemale 2 | 55
13 Jul 2014 #5
Age does matter in most relationships.

Very interesting point of view. I do agree though, that women tend to mature faster than most men.
Englishman 2 | 278
15 Jul 2014 #6
I think this is true, so it's more common for the man to be older than the woman. But I think age is just a number, it's about people's shared values and interests. I don't think age matters at all as long as love is true and strong.
OP SingleFemale 2 | 55
15 Jul 2014 #7
I think society has been quite harsh with couples who have large age differences. If the man is several years older than the woman, he is deemed to be a sugar daddy, dirty old man, what have you, etc. The woman, on the other hand, is branded a gold digger, one after his benefits, money, etc.

On the other hand, if the woman is older than the man, she is deemed a cougar, one after the young boys, etc. There's not much ostracism on the part of the man though he would also be assumed to be after her money as well..

But I think age is just a number

I agree that age is just a number. But it will not be just a number if the people involved have varying interests and mindsets based on that number. But if they do have shared interests and values, then everything will just fall into place. The relationship will work no matter the age difference
Kamaz
15 Jul 2014 #8
When I was 23 I met and lived with a woman who was 39, we lived together happily for about 6 years and then my work took me away overseas.......she met a guy who was 5 years younger than me at work and started a relationship with him which lasted 5 years. After our amicable split, I met a woman who was again some 9 years older than me and had a long running affair with her, (she was married) I also had interludes with other married and single women ranging from early 20,s to late 40,s.......a few years after when I was 39 I had a girl of 17 who insisted who insisted she would marry me one day!!! she never trapped me. Is that a good age range????
KihKih - | 1
16 Jul 2014 #9
Well, it does not matter imo. Do what your heart says!
OP SingleFemale 2 | 55
16 Jul 2014 #10
When I was 23 I met and lived with a woman who was 39, we lived together happily for about 6 years and then my work took me away overseas.

lol you've been quite busy during the past years.... =D

The farthest age difference I had in a relationship was years ago. I was 25 and he was 49. Lasted for 6 years and only ended because we both drifted apart. We were both busy with work(I had my career, he had his) but until now we are still friends. Very caring and understanding.

Now I'm in my 40's and what surprises me is that I meet men a lot younger than me(one is more than 10 years younger) and I'm thinking...Whoa! I must be really getting old!
manitu - | 1
16 Jul 2014 #11
If you mean women and men reliationship for sure the men must be older. Ask about best difference age? Max 10 yers
Kamaz
16 Jul 2014 #12
Single Female...go for it, if the young guys want you then have some fun.....it is after all the 21st century, cougar style is IN!!! Just a note.....all of the older women.... 40s..... when I was in my 20,s were much hotter and less inhibited in bed than the younger girls......Young girls wanted to be taken out for several weeks, have gifts bought....etc etc.....the older women would just say "lets go to bed" you might even get breakfast......one even left a note saying 'lock up when you leave, I'll send my car back to take you where you need to go'........don't get that kind of service from a 20 year old student!!!!!
OP SingleFemale 2 | 55
17 Jul 2014 #13
Are you talking about short term affairs or one night stands? It is probably easy to have relationships like that, but another thing when it comes to serious relationships.

.it is after all the 21st century, cougar style is IN!!!

Oh last time I checked, I still haven't had any claws yet. LOL
Jurekbenelli
18 Jul 2014 #14
Does it really matter with the age differences if a couple is very much in love?Just think for a moment about you seeing someone who you like very much would you give him/her a miss because of the age issue?

cheers
Jurek
Kamaz
18 Jul 2014 #15
Single female.....it was after all a long time ago and not in Poland, I do know that things are very different here and yet again different in the larger towns from the small villages......I do know of one 'cougar' here but she is very westernised, does not go to church or send her children to church, does all her 'cat business' in hotels well away from the area......yet still has managed to garner a bad reputation in the village??? Maybe the big smile on her face is a bit suspicious to all the 'not allowed to do sex for fun' sour faced village women. Some of the women I dated were just one night stands and some (quite a few in fact) became good friends long term and when between other relationships short and long we would meet for weekends away (I think the modern American term is either ***** buddies' or 'friends with benefits'.......It was in fact a lifestyle that was very good and very relaxing, no emotional pressure and always someone to sleep with/ spend some time with in intelligent discussion, plus they always knew some nice places to go visit, where I could take other friends on other weekends...all in all it worked out very well and I am still in contact with some of my old friends even though I have finally married ( was married at 19 for 3 years.....big mistake, was too young and too into my job, so we divorced and I spent 23 years single, never regretting a minute of it...the single having fun bit that is).
PC_Sceptic - | 70
18 Jul 2014 #16
Age don't matter whatsoever.

I have seen these type of threads before (not here) and most agree that it doesn't matter.
OP SingleFemale 2 | 55
18 Jul 2014 #17
Does it really matter with the age differences if a couple is very much in love?Just think for a moment about you seeing someone who you like very much would you give him/her a miss because of the age issue?

Age would not really matter, I guess....if both of you have the same interests and priorities. But...if one wants to get married and have kids, while the other(obviously the older half) doesn't(and mainly because of the age issue AGAIN)... wouldn't age be an issue this time?

PS And I cannot imagine someone in her 40s or 50s giving birth. Oh dear.
PC_Sceptic - | 70
18 Jul 2014 #18
You worry too much, just go with the flow, all the questions raised above will pop up eventually, rather sooner than later.
And if they present real obstacle, then you just move on.
Kamaz
18 Jul 2014 #19
Two friends of mine both in their 40's one 44 and one 46 both had good lives but they both never had children, built businesses and became successful (they were good friends too) later when successful they married again but to older and very wealthy men..........both marriages failed at roughly the same time and they both found happiness with much younger men......one had an affair and got pregnant and soon after her older friend met someone new and also became pregnant.....now I have heard that women 'glow' in pregnancy, but it transformed both of these women......I'll admit that they were in wealthy and successful circumstances and had no worries except about theirs and the babies health.......but as I said it did very well by them.......last time I heard from either of them they and the children were doing fine.....I thought it a bit brave to have your first child at 46.
phtoa 9 | 236
18 Jul 2014 #20
My friend living here in Poland is dating a woman who is 35 while he is 23. And I have never seen a happier couple, they are together for close to a year now.

Stop these opinions on age differences, race, etc.

Is it love, its love. Why does anybody care about others opinions??
Forumsuser13 1 | 11
18 Jul 2014 #21
I think a 10-15 year age difference is fine as long as you are committed to the one person. The difference would become less and less significant as the years pass.

The practice of going from one sex partner to the next is called by a particularly ugly word: "adultery." Seems fine at first - I mean, "everyone does it," right? But, problems come later on e.g. family breakdown, violence from cuckolded spouses, emotional problems, etc.
Jurekbenelli
19 Jul 2014 #22
...Whatever the age is of both people involved or being interested in each other is up to them as they can talk it thorough and I guess they can come to a mutual understanding if really mutual attraction is involved.

Cheers
Jerzy
RitaRosa - | 7
28 Jul 2014 #23
There is something called the 7-plus relationship rule. This is used to define the youngest that a romantic interest can be before it becomes socially unnacceptable by others and is really a guide..

The equation is so: Divide the upper age by 2 and add 7.
eg. Someone of 50 years divided by 2 = 25 years. Add 7 years onto that and you have the one person who is 50 and the other who is 32.

Tbh, it probably doesn't seem so bad from some people's perspective if a man is 50 and the woman is 32. However, if the woman was 50 and the man was 32, it may be classed as unacceptable by some.

Personally, I really don't find age differences a problem. So long as the people concerned are happy in their relationship, care for and respect each other then there should not be a problem :)
Englishman 2 | 278
28 Jul 2014 #24
Tbh, it probably doesn't seem so bad from some people's perspective if a man is 50 and the woman is 32. However, if the woman was 50 and the man was 32, it may be classed as unacceptable by some.

I agree with this. If there's a small age difference I don't think it matters who is older. But if the difference is large, I think people are surprised if the man is younger. If I saw a man of 50 with a woman of 32 I would not think badly of either, unless the man had a lot of money and the woman did not. But if the woman was 50 and the man was 32 I would wonder whether he wanted a mother figure rather than an equal partner.

The reason may be that we expect women to mature faster than men. So a 32 year-old woman could be the equal of a 50 year-old man. But it is hard to believe that there could be equal maturity in a 32 year-old man and a 50 year-old woman.
sobieski 107 | 2,128
28 Jul 2014 #25
I think 4-5 years difference is OK. My parents differ 4 years, she older as he. But at an age of 81 and 85 I do not think it makes a difference...

For spring chickens such as us...For example 18 and 25...really big difference mentality-wise. 52 and 57...not really. 10 years...we are talking of a different generation IMHO. I differ with my youngest brother 11 years and it shows.
Kamaz
28 Jul 2014 #26
I think age differences do get noticed by people in different circumstances and those circumstances are very important. Where I live now, 'out in the sticks' you see 30 year old guys going to see the doctor with their mother and father???? yes it is a regular occurrence here, likewise girls in their 40,s going to the doctor with their mother to look after them...(they are not disabled by the way...just the kind of people who live in villages) now lets take one of these 32 year old guys and put him with a 50 year old woman......in that case yes, he is looking for and needs a mother figure, handy that she can wipe his nose and give a bit of sex after!!!!.....But if we look again to different circumstances a 32 year old NATO airforce officer commanding a fighter plane squadron and he is dating a 50 year old woman......I really don't think he is looking for a mother, he has simply learned to value the fact that many western older women still look feel and act like sexy women and do have fun/sex lives.....I could give several more examples of guys I have known dating older sophisticated women.....and not for their money either. In the reverse I have also known a lot of girls with ages ranging from mid twenties to early thirties who were in serious relationships and marriages with guys ranging from early forties to mid fifties......it is more common than you would think......guys act and feel younger these days, more opportunities and the good sense to keep themselves fit and well groomed, well educated and intelligent young women do not feel that they have to be with or marry a guy who is +/- 2 or 3 years these days, it has gone back to how it was with it being normal for a good separation in age. Of course there are many social reasons for this and we could discuss them for ages..........maybe I am talking about professional people though and not the kind of people who live in villages or have jobs/education that are/is mundane?? At 32 I had a trucking business and was seeing a divorcee of 55 who was a partner in a large hairdressing business in an upmarket town. All in all I think circumstances/intellect, do play a part...not just age alone.
beckski 12 | 1,617
28 Jul 2014 #27
In Poland, most of my married relatives are around the same age. Some of the males are a few years older, than the wife.

In the United States they date & marry whoever floats his/her boat :-)
OP SingleFemale 2 | 55
29 Jul 2014 #28
Very interesting opinions.

I used to abhor the idea of an older woman dating a younger man, but when one of my mates married a younger man(think 6-7 year difference-and they are still together after 15 years) I thought, ah, now that's different. But then I see or hear , say, a 50 year old woman dating a 25 or 30 year old guy, I'm thinking...do they need a mother figure or something?

All in all I think circumstances/intellect, do play a part...not just age alone.

Defo agree on this.


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