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Falling for a Polish guy and confused..


Orchid 1 | 7
27 Nov 2011 #1
Hi! I'm new to this forum. I actually posted but no one has responded yet so I decided to become a member and repost again. Here's my story- I met this guy and gone out with him about three times. I think I'm falling hard for him and I barely knew the guy. I don't fall easily but apparently its happening. I'm screwed because he is leaving to Poland this month. I don't even know why he keeps wanting to see me and email/text me everyday (for two weeks now since he got my email) when he knows he is leaving. I never wanted a LDR, but I think I'm willing to give it a shot with this guy, but we are not even together. He's such a sweet caring polite shy guy, but again I don't really know him that well so i could be wrong. All I know is that he makes me smile and I felt the connection the moment we first kissed. I just met him and within an hour, he kissed me and I kissed him back! I never kissed a stranger in my life but it felt so right. I never knew that kind of intense feeling exist until I met him (and I've had long term relationships). Should I give LDR a shot if he asks? Or should I just avoid him and prepare for his departure and not say anything about my feelings? I don't even know how he feels about me. I haven't seen him for 4 days, and about two nights ago, he emailed me at 2am asking if he would be seeing me anytime soon. I figured that he wants to see me again and interested but don't know where this is heading (maybe he's just bored). Any thoughts will help.. Thanks.
Ironside 50 | 11,477
27 Nov 2011 #2
get over yourself - you don't really expect an answer do you ?
Its need to be sorted out between you two.
skysoulmate 14 | 1,296
27 Nov 2011 #3
Orchid - when it comes to relationships you really can't rely on advice from strangers on a message board. Only you and your friend know the right answer. Long distance relationships seldom work but sometimes they do. Maybe this shy guy became more assertive when he realized he only had a few weeks left with you? Maybe he has feelings for you or maybe he's just a player? Only the two of you can figure this out.

Remember that Poland is only a few hours away, he isn't moving across the globe, you know. If you two stay in touch and things work out you can get there on a low-cost airline for £50 or so. You sound very young and I'm guessing you'll develop feelings for some other guy pretty soon (out of sight out of mind) but maybe you won't? Maybe the two of you will hit it off? I'd say be honest and forthright with him and see where this takes you? Otherwise you'll always wonder what could've happened if you gave it a chance? Good luck to you.
pawian 178 | 16,053
27 Nov 2011 #4
I don't even know why he keeps wanting to see me and email/text me everyday (for two weeks now since he got my email) when he knows he is leaving.

Don`t want to be rude but he might consider it as written English practice.

get over yourself - you don't really expect an answer do you ?
Its need to be sorted out between you two.

How can you be so cruel? Don`t you have any compassion?
Ironside 50 | 11,477
27 Nov 2011 #5
How can you be so cruel? Don`t you have any compassion?

What ? get a grip pawian
mische 1 | 14
27 Nov 2011 #6
LDR

It never works. Don't be the next naive girl with a broken heart...
OP Orchid 1 | 7
27 Nov 2011 #7
Wow! It kinda hurts but I guess I need to hear that. Thanks Ironside..

I'm not that young. Im picky when it comes to guys and don't fall for guys easily (in my experience, guys fall for me first). I don't do one night stand and don't give out my number to any guys I just met. I had two long term relationships in total. I thought I knew love and relationships, the ins and out and everything in between, until I met this guy. Im the person all my friends go to when it comes to advice on anything, but now I feel like my brain isn't working. I don't have any European or Polish friends so I'm trying to get a feedback from this forum.

Pawian, what do you mean by its a written English practice?

Thanks for all the feedback...
Amathyst 19 | 2,702
28 Nov 2011 #8
I don't have any European or Polish friends so I'm trying to get a feedback from this forum.

We're no different in Europe than what you are in America..Relatonships and people work exactly the same.

LDR's can work, but more often than not they don't, especially if you haven't had time to establish some kind of bond in the first instance.
skysoulmate 14 | 1,296
28 Nov 2011 #9
Pawian, what do you mean by its a written English practice?

You being his English "tutor"? That's my guess on what Pawian meant.

By the way, I didn't realize you were in LA, somehow I thought you were in the UK so yes, he is actually moving across the globe and it might get expensive to fly to/from Poland. Either way, don't think of him as a guy from Poland, just think of him as a guy. Amathyst is right, our hearts bleed the same no matter which side of the pond you're on. Hope things work out.
pawian 178 | 16,053
28 Nov 2011 #10
Either way, don't think of him as a guy from Poland, just think of him as a guy.

Yes, exactly. It always amuses me when girls try to find out how to operate a Polish guy, while he is just a guy and nothing else. Does it mean that Poles are seen as exotic unknown race which requires digging into on forums?

What ? get a grip pawian

What? Go on a trip, ironside.
f stop 25 | 2,513
28 Nov 2011 #11
I think the guy wants to have a fling before he goes, he figures it's not going to be a big deal since he's leaving, and you're aware of that.

2am? He just wanted to know when he'll see you again? Really, girl?
beckski 12 | 1,617
28 Nov 2011 #12
Should I give LDR a shot if he asks?

I've tried it before (even with a guy on PF.) It didn't work out. When couples are in a serious relationship, they need to live somewhat near each other.
OP Orchid 1 | 7
28 Nov 2011 #13
I know that he is just a guy, but based on my experience, culture has an impact on people's values, ways, and how they do things.

@f stop- Yes only to ask when he could see me again. This morning he emailed me at 6am saying he couldn't sleep anymore so he decided to email me. He also insisted in meeting me at work the last time instead of me driving to his area to have lunch which didnt make sense to me because we were having lunch in his area. So he took the bus to my work and we both drove back to his area for lunch. I got nervous at one point cuz I caught him staring at me while I was driving.

I appreciate all the feedback.. I think I'm just gonna have fun and hang out with this guy with no expectation. I never do LDR anyways (although he knows i like europe and willing to move there). I'm just gonna be a good friend and show him around LA, but not gonna be his fling. When he goes back to Poland, hopefully he'll remember that girl in LA that showed him a great time in a short period of time.
f stop 25 | 2,513
28 Nov 2011 #14
This morning he emailed me at 6am saying he couldn't sleep anymore so he decided to email me. He also insisted in meeting me at work the last time instead of me driving to his area to have lunch which didnt make sense to me because we were having lunch in his area. So he took the bus to my work and we both drove back to his area for lunch. I got nervous at one point cuz I caught him staring at me while I was driving.

I'm just going to have fun with one side of this story, the one that it might not have been the pure, romantic thoughts that kept him up at night. You have no heart. But Polish men know this game well, so at this point, my money would be on the guy. ;)
OP Orchid 1 | 7
28 Nov 2011 #15
F stop- I have no heart? You are the one that said that he might just want a fling.. We all know that at the end, I'm the one that's going to end up with a broken heart. I think you misunderstood what im trying to say. When I say I'm gonna have fun, I meant I'm gonna continue seeing him and enjoying his company despite knowing in my heart that this is all gonna end soon. Im not gonna overanalyze this situation anymore. I don't want to pressure this guy to define what we are and where this is heading. I have no control over how I feel about this guy, but I'm willing to accept that I have to let him go and I'll end up with a broken heart. I never got heart broken before so maybe it's time for me to have a taste of it. He might try to keep in touch for awhile or not, but im always gonna look back and remember that I once fell madly in love with this guy at first sight but he never knew, and it was the most perfect first kiss created by two strangers.

I have good intention about this guy, but I can't force something that isn't there when he knew I know he's leaving (just like what some of you have said)..
Loco Joe
28 Nov 2011 #16
I know that he is just a guy, but based on my experience, culture has an impact on people's values, ways, and how they do things.

Cultural differences? Poles are much more calculating than Americans. Figure, figure, figure. They're also well in command of their emotions. His feelings may be true ... or he may be looking for a quick piece of bum or maybe something more, like a Green Card. He may be married with children back in Poland...or he may be single and available. You just don't know him very well because you haven't know him very long, and Poles are very hard to get to know. They don't like showing themselves. If you like the Polish personality find yourself a Polish American, than you have the best of both worlds.
PennBoy 76 | 2,436
28 Nov 2011 #17
I know that he is just a guy, but based on my experience, culture has an impact on people's values, ways, and how they do things.

Yes and No if you're both from the Christian world culture is similar no matter what country ur in. It's really about the guy's education level and his surroundings. And LDR hardly ever work out I know u like him, but he's gotta move to LA or u to Poland. Good Luck.
OP Orchid 1 | 7
6 Dec 2011 #18
No he is not married and has no kids. He said he applied for a temporary position here in Los Angeles but waiting to be accepted. He will be working back in Poland for the meantime. He is educated. I don't want to ask him what will happen when he leaves. Ive been seeing him, and he's been on my mind every hour of the day. He is leaving soon and stressed out with the things he has to do before he leaves. I think it's true that Poles are very hard to get know. He does not open up much about his personal lives like his past relationships etc (i guess at this point it does not matter). He does tell stories and experiences working and traveling. He tells me he likes me and he likes watching me while i do things (which I can see from the way he looks at me on different occassions). Anyhow, I'm still expecting less when he leaves. Would it be too much if I give him an early Christmas present that he can open on Christmas day? Would that scare a guy away? I need a guy's opinion on this. Thanks.
Meathead 5 | 470
6 Dec 2011 #19
No, a "going away-Christmas present" would be quite appropriate. Let 'em know, Americans do that kind of stuff.
OP Orchid 1 | 7
6 Dec 2011 #20
Thanks Meathead! Would it be appropriate if the gift cost about $200?
Meathead 5 | 470
6 Dec 2011 #21
Buy him what you think he would like or need, don't consider the price. In fact don't even mention the price. I mean it's an american thingy buying gifts. Gifts for Christmas, going away gifts, birthday gifts, thank you here's a gift. It's the culture. He doesn't owe you anything in return, right?
OP Orchid 1 | 7
6 Dec 2011 #22
I don't expect anything in return. I'm thinking of getting him a nice watch (maybe swatch), and of course, Im not gonna mention or include the price. I'm just thinking he might go online to check the price and he'll figure that this American girl is that crazy to spend that much on someone she isnt even sure she'll see again!
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,852
6 Dec 2011 #23
t
don't waste your money if that kind of weird idea is in your head. Swatches are quite cheap are,nt they?


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