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Polish Catholic girl - do you have the same relationship problem as me?


MonikaK
29 Jan 2013  #1
So I am Polish both parents are immigrants Im first generation born in Canada. I was wondering this question because my whole family wants me to marry Polish and only a Catholic Polish boy. Are there any guys who have the same problem...do they have to marry a little Catholic Polish girl or is that just my family? I know I want to marry a Polish guy because I dont know any other culture. Oh yeah my dad said if hes an athiest then that gonna end badly. Ive been surrounded by*cough* sluts *cough* and they do all these things that I would never do. And then theres me a Catholic girl who believes in nothing before marriage. Ive thought this way and I wonder if there is a guy that will respect my choices and believes the same thing I do so yeah Please help :)
ukangel 8 | 56
29 Jan 2013  #2
Sorry to hear that ur parents are putting pressure on u.I guess you should be careful on this matter.marry someone that you will be happy for the rest of ur life.since u r born in Canada,you are a canadian not polish,so try to convince your parents that you can marry a catholic but not necessarily a polish man. If u do find a polish man from Poland,make sure he understands English very well,to avoid misunderstandings in the future of ur relationship.good luck
Dreadnought 1 | 143
29 Jan 2013  #3
I have to say that speaking from a viewpoint based way out here in civilisation, your parents are living in the dark ages. Back here where the hills have eyes the parents all want their little daughters to grow up marrying their 1st cousin. Yep those of you who are educated will realise that the local surgery is full of children with their internal organs all over the place and worse, just because mom and dad and both grandmas and grandads wanted to keep the wealth in the family and only marry cousins. Well what I see in your parents is just as bad, I,m willing to bet that if they could find you a 1st cousin they would marry you off to him. Girl...you need to get out of Polish inbred society and out of crazy Catholicism...marry a guy who you can love and who will Love you and always treat you like his own personal princess..but not too close in the family. Run away now and as fast and as far as you can...you are being abused, but have been brain washed so you can,t see it.
pawian 153 | 8,369
29 Jan 2013  #4
Yeah, that kind of trolling was funny some time ago. Today it is so stale.
smurf 39 | 1,983
29 Jan 2013  #5
Run away now and as fast and as far as you can...you are being abused, but have been brain washed so you can,t see it.

+1

GTF out of there and have as much sex with as many men/people as you want to, life is too short for such (nonsense) fundamentalism to ruin it.

Live your life before it passes you by.
Ironside 47 | 9,572
29 Jan 2013  #6
I have to say

Yawn! You have to shut up as you have nothing to say and it shows.

GTF out of there

I could expect that out of all people you would support such nonsensical trolling of the kid. The point is for him there is still a chance, you are just another @@@.
4 eigner 2 | 831
29 Jan 2013  #7
I was wondering this question because my whole family wants me to marry Polish and only a Catholic Polish boy.

and I'm wondering if this is not just another anti catholic thread on PF.
1172ftj 6 | 17
29 Jan 2013  #8
I am a Polish guy moved to US with my family when I was very young and I feel the same as you. Growing up here seeing the difference in culture of Americans compared to how my family is (lack of respect) and I know I want to marry a Polish girl. I haven't had a relationship at all either since I would like to have the 1 true thing. My father travels to Poland each year and he found me a potential girl so now I am unsure of what to do myself I just have something to think about :D but I feel if you give it time it will all come to you. When you find the right guy he will respect your choice - and if he is against your choice he is not for you. Simple as that! Best of luck!
OP MonikaK
30 Jan 2013  #9
This is a better relpy than the other ones...I am proud of my heritage and my religion. Idk where you people are getting the ideas of marrying my cousin that is just wrong. Yes my parents are old fashion but not that old fashion.
pawian 153 | 8,369
30 Jan 2013  #10
Yes my parents are old fashion but not that old fashion.

They eat a cake and keep the cake???
Dreadnought 1 | 143
30 Jan 2013  #11
I do realise that this part or Poland that I live in is not quite as advanced as other parts of Poland, and that old customs die hard....but around here they often speak proudly that their family is inter related on both sides. I do not blame them that much though, real roads around here came late......hell the road I live on was just a mud track 5 years ago, part of it still is. Communism didn,t help, they didn,t encourage you to travel..... even if a young guy had time to go wandering to another village, the locals would treat him as an enemy who was out to steal their girls/sisters......all in all it was best to just play in the barn with sister or cousins....and around here you married who daddy told you to, still do on the farms. Maybe Poland needs it,s own film on a theme like 'Deliverance' to make people wake up and join civilisation...that film certainly focused America which had similar problems in the Ozarks and which until then, it had swept under the carpet as a huge embarrassement.
rybnik 18 | 1,462
30 Jan 2013  #12
Live your life before it passes you by.

++
ultimately, your parent s will get over it :)
Peakus - | 25
30 Jan 2013  #13
Motto for finding wife/husband. 'Try before you buy'.
ilyeshallo - | 9
31 Jan 2013  #14
Hey Monika.i am not polish man ..I dont know if polish people have this problem but in my country women also should marry Muslim men.

It does not matter where he is from .the matter he will be muslim. and i noticed you said you wanna marrry polish man so it will not be a problem.

i am sure your parents will not force you to marry someone.you can choose the one you feel he will be the One
hummingbird20 - | 17
2 Feb 2013  #15
Oh haha!
It's hilareous but true!
But it's sth like prearranged marriage,you parents can't show you the standards of picking up the right partner
When you will find the right partner,you will have that strange different feeling.He might be from different religion,culture,but surely you would have together common values,points...

I had a friend before,he was a polish guy,although he married a polish girl and who was catholic like him,It didn't work out.So you got me?

I think it's what I said,and willingness to compromise is what makes any relationship to work out!
I myself ain't allowed to marry an atheist.I think they are too material,and physical.I'm a guy who believes in destiny and God fearing,so sometimes religion is important even if it's not the same religion.

Your parents can't tell you what to do!Pick up the right guy for you.Even if you screw up,still some people will learn the hard way,but eventually life is the best teacher and you will find out the right guy.

Everybody experiences sth different,you can never tell!Just look deep inside yourself and see what you want!
Therefore we are created all different,that makes life enjoyable
Do you agree with me?
OP MonikaK
3 Feb 2013  #16
I myself ain't allowed to marry an atheist.

Nice thats the main thing I worry about will he respect me if hes a different religion that doesnt believe in the important things to me...but I agree with you and Im sorry about your friends relationship but I guess Im a little old fashion myself. Maybe its because Im scared stepping out and exploring different beliefs cultures whatever and maybe because I dont know anything else but my way of living maybe I dont want to right now I dont know but Im still learning hey I live in Canada Im surrounded by different people...my best friend is Fillipino. Thanks for a sincere answer not like

and I'm wondering if this is not just another anti catholic thread on PF.

which it is not fyi
hummingbird20 - | 17
3 Feb 2013  #17
Oh!I got you.
But I respect people's believes!If my partner practises different religion it's okay for me,I really don't worry about what she would do.It's just I ain't allowed in my religion to marry an atheist,or idols worshippers,you feel me?

I don't think there would be a religion clash between the couple.Everybody can practise what he or she believes in,but the problem will come after later when the kids will come up.

Trust me,nowadays guys like old fashioned girls,cuz guys don't need a modernized girl,who will stay up the whole night in a disco and needs her boy to be dressed up Gucci haha.Everybody needs that humble,shallow girl,that enjoys life with its ups and downs.

Your partner would respect your religion most of the time,people nowadays are open to everything!
I remember back in the day,when I went to a catholic church and the priest said that who would give out charity will not be blessed by him and God!He was such a greedy man and definitely it looked awful while he said that.

Canada is a multi-pot spot,you will learn a lot.You just have to open your mind.People have different religions,and way of things even members of the same family.People have partners,from the same religion,city,age range but the relationship wouldn't work out still.You know why?cuz the couple doesn't have common values and interests.For instance the husband likes to be honest and the wife tends to lie all the time,or for instance the girl likes to stay athletic and go to Zumba or yoga class while the dumbass husband prefers to be a couch potato,and watch 24/7 TV!

It's a lot of stuff,but you get the point,don't chu?
Lenka 2 | 1,067
3 Feb 2013  #18
the problem will come after later when the kids will come up.

My cousin is Catholic,her husband is Muslim.They have kids and they worked it out
hummingbird20 - | 17
3 Feb 2013  #19
Oh!Yup,it could work out of course
I'm Muslim too.I think the husband or the wife got to compromise about the children's religion.Cuz when you have kids with someone means you are stucked up to them,and if so,you gotta talk before marriage about major issues,like when you have kids which religion they will be affiliated to.That's the way to work out things,so that the couple will not argue and have problems within the marriage.

That's the way I think,and I might be wrong.
I'm just talking about someone who is reallly serious guy,and look forward to be happily married.Marriage is investment,and everybody learns that the hard way.

Marriage isn't all love and flowers,it'll be love,paying bills,kids,problems...lot of them.The strongest the couple is,the more the relationship could work out.

It's not like,the wife would be saying,okay it's night time I wanna go with my friends to the disco to have fun.That wouldn't be a marriage.Or the husband would be like,Okay,I'm going somewhere I ain't coming back tonight!That would be really ****** up and I saw a lot of people like that.I think they were not ready for marriage,and they thought it is like dating,it'd be fun.People still lower their expectations and don't wanna be taken for granted even when married!that makes them irresponsible and could behave recklessly.

Marriage is destiny anyway,so you will know the first moment when you meet the right guy.
Do you savvy that?
Lenka 2 | 1,067
3 Feb 2013  #20
Hummingbird-We have different views on that

like when you have kids which religion they will be affiliated to

They can be not affiliated to any religion.They can choose when they are grown ups

okay it's night time I wanna go with my friends to the disco to have fun.That wouldn't be a marriage.Or the husband would be like,Okay,I'm going somewhere I ain't coming back tonight!

I think it's healthy to have some separate things.
MoOli 9 | 484
3 Feb 2013  #21
hummingbird20: like when you have kids which religion they will be affiliated toThey can be not affiliated to any religion.They can choose when they are grown ups

Agreed 100%, my wife is RC and I am more like athiest,oneof my kid chose to be baptised,other one an adult has not decided,and we dont pressurise them in any form.They can choose what they want.
hummingbird20 - | 17
3 Feb 2013  #22
Can't agree with you on such things.
Maybe they can,I like to be in control of things haha
I don't think such crazy things make the relationship going on!Different but crazy things no!
That's why people shouldn't get married!it'll end up bad or they just have accept the constact huge gap haha
I'd choose the first one haha
Have a goodnight
Gotta bounce off!
MoOli 9 | 484
3 Feb 2013  #23
Why?Why cant people be allowed to choose there relegion or way of living?I know you are muslim but why your kids have to be when they dont want to follow the path you want them to?why shouldnt people of diff relegions ger married?or change relegion what there MALE spouse wants?when you wake up do think:))
Meathead 5 | 470
3 Feb 2013  #24
I know I want to marry a Polish guy because I dont know any other culture.

It's time you left home and got on with your life. If you stay at home you'll never grow up, it's too comfortable.
hummingbird20 - | 17
5 Feb 2013  #25
Relationships are complicated nowadays espicially if both parties don't want to compromise.
You can't let your parents choose what kind of person will share your life,cuz you will be the one who will suffer all your life,if you have kids with your partner then you know you are even stuck,it doesn't matter if you are separated,divorce or whatever the case might be.

You have to know your partner,at least find some major common value,interests and other points between you too.Some differences in languages,cultures,way of thinking will make the relationship amazing!There would be a lot then to talk about,share and to know with your partner.

There are things you have to agree on before the marriage of course.
Trust me,you will never fully know somebody till you are married to him,or her.Just have faith in God to help you find the right partner.┬ĘPlus you can't control life,no matter how smart you are,or controlling.Your partner will do what he wants,THERE SHOULD BE ALWAYS RESPECT AND COMPROMISING AND DISCUSSING between the couple members.That's what will keep the marriage.

Even if you will go with your partner to the catholic church on Sunday,and be surrounded with the catholic people,that won't assure you will stay together.

I don't agree with your dad!Sometimes old people are closed minded or they are very emotional,or tend to sth.They shouldn't though impose their ideas or way of life on their kids.We are all created free:free to think,free to act,free to love and choose the partner.That's what I think.My standpoint is right and might be wrong,yours too is wrong and might be right!We ask God to guide us the right path and to help us make the right decision espicially when it comes to make such an important step like marriage.We know it's not sex,flowers and having a good time.It's paying bills,taking a lot of responsiblities,and respecting the partner's religion,way of thinking,the state and condition too.It's a lot of things,do you understand?

I myself hate cheating,that's sth I know,it makes people apart!if you cheat on me,I'm done and we will never be back together even if you 'd be down on yr knees.
bullfrog 6 | 603
5 Feb 2013  #26
...I am proud of my heritage and my religion

How can you? Not that I have anything against you heritage/religion, but in my book, one can only be proud of something in which one does/plays a role/feels responsible for. By definition, that is not the case of your heritage...
pedromiguelppin - | 17
5 Feb 2013  #27
Hi agree with most of opinions...this way of thinking is too "dark age" and gets a bit odd having in mind your parents went to live in different country and for sure they realize that people that aren't from poland are ok/nice too, most of the times!
Home Body - | 1
10 Nov 2017  #28
Monika K, I hope you are still around to read this message. Moreso, I hope you found the man of your dreams and that you are now happily married with children.

I was appalled at the insensitivity of most of the men that wrote. They tried to pass off their dirty, lustful thoughts on to you to make you as perverted as they are. I pray and trust they didn't disillusion you.

God bless you and keep you fulfilled and happy always.


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