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Advice Please! Meeting my Polish boyfriend's parents!! Gifts, customs...


lulubees 1 | -
15 Apr 2010 #1
Hello all!

My boyfriend's parents are coming to the U.S. this summer and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to meet them. I was wondering what type of snacks, or teas, or anything really do older Polish parents like? What could I do to make their stay more comfortable? They've never been here before. What SHOULDN'T I do? Where could I learn more about Polish etiquette, is it different from American?? They don't speak any English so I'm trying to learn as much Polish to get by as possible. I'm terribly nervous, and any suggestions would be appreciated! :) Thank you very much!
MareGaea 29 | 2,752
15 Apr 2010 #2
Just be your friendly self. I'm sure they will appreciate that. If you're gonna do sth just to please them, sth you wouldn't normally do, it would become arteficial and that can create a very uncomfortable sit. They are humans after all. There is no such thing as "Polish parents for dummies".

>^..^<

M-G (on the other hand: you could check with Barnes and Nobles, just to be sure, grin)
southern 75 | 7,096
15 Apr 2010 #4
What SHOULDN'T I do?

Do not serve them American vodka.
robercik2010 - | 2
19 Aug 2010 #5
Merged: I'm going to Poland to meet my girlfriend's parents this weekend, tips?

Hi,

I'm new to forum so Cześć to one and all. I was ok with the idea of meeting the parents but as the deadline day moves ever closer I am becoming more and more anxious. Already I seem to be held in high esteem by her parents, but I am still anxious of putting my foot in it, and such or saying the wrong thing in my broken Polish, credit to my girlfriend she has supported me and taught me the basics. Anything else I should know?

Thanks
plk123 8 | 4,149
19 Aug 2010 #6
search the forums as this is not the first time this very question has been asked. otherwise, it's kind of hard to guess what you already know etc..
robercik2010 - | 2
19 Aug 2010 #7
When I say basics, I mean language, just looking for dos and do nots really.
plk123 8 | 4,149
19 Aug 2010 #8
be on your best behavior.. don't get into politics and religion and don't tell them that your country is better then theirs.
mioetek emigran
19 Aug 2010 #9
be careful with her dude
i mean i'm a polish guy in uk and i would advice to all those british men who got polish girlfriends to think twice before it's too late

and btw - you don't have enough british women in uk?
Wulkan - | 3,249
19 Aug 2010 #10
I'm going to Poland to meet my girlfriend's parents this weekend, tips?

dont worry about it, if you're white you should be ok
plk123 8 | 4,149
19 Aug 2010 #11
or super rich
pgtx 30 | 3,156
19 Aug 2010 #12
Anything else I should know?

bring flowers for your girlfriend's mother and some small flower of a box of chocolates for your gf...

don't worry about your broken Polish, Poles love when people try to speak their language and your gf is a huge support, so head up!

be polite...

if the father drinks vodka with you, you can't say no, but don't get too drunk so you won't do any crazy stupid things, or say anything you regret the next day...

other then that, good luck and enjoy the visit! :)
A J 4 | 1,088
19 Aug 2010 #14
if the father drinks vodka with you, you can't say no, but don't get too drunk so you won't do any crazy stupid things, or say anything you regret the next day

Yeah, or her dad might pass out after three bottles of Wódka, and think you wouldn't be a very good husband for his daughter the next morning, when he tells you that he thinks you drink too much..

xD
king polkakamon - | 544
19 Aug 2010 #15
Or the father will ask you to drink vodka with him everyday.
irishlodz 1 | 135
19 Aug 2010 #16
don't make the schoolboy error and drink beer. ask for a juice or a coke when you get to the house as here Father will force feed you vodka. Pace yourself and good luck.

And I agree with flowers for Mamo, Polish women love them.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595
19 Aug 2010 #17
don't get into politics and religion.

Good advice

and don't tell them that your country is better then theirs.

Of course

bring flowers for your girlfriend's mother and some small flower of a box of chocolates for your gf...

Also good
David_18 68 | 982
19 Aug 2010 #18
Anything else I should know?

If you want to impress them you should use Polish traditional clothes!!
trener zolwia 1 | 939
19 Aug 2010 #19
LOL! Wouldn't it be funny if he really showed up dressed like that!
sobieski 107 | 2,128
19 Aug 2010 #20
Don't mention your income or other financial stuff...whatever you tell it will always turn out to be a wrong move
szarlotka 8 | 2,209
19 Aug 2010 #21
Sound advice. Whatever you earn, no matter how well you have progressed in your career a prospective mother-in-law will always see it as insufficient;)
trener zolwia 1 | 939
19 Aug 2010 #22
Wow, Polish mothers have tough standards. Must think their little princesses are worth a fortune...
pgtx 30 | 3,156
19 Aug 2010 #23
that's because of all the a55holes out there...

mietek, chyba juz wiem czemu rzucaja w ciebie smieciami z samochodow

hehehe...
sobieski 107 | 2,128
19 Aug 2010 #24
I think mothers, whatever European country, always will have tough standards where it concerns their daughters. On the other side also more realistic ones as the fathers I think :)
FlaglessPole 4 | 669
19 Aug 2010 #25
Ah the prospective parents in law and Polish at that. Tricky in each case, fubared when combined.
Well, don't fret my young padawan! Use the fork! (save the knife for the wedding)
When there is a will, there is a way - a Polish way in this case! (not to be confused with a Polish road, leave your bicycle home unless you fancy low-altitude sky-diving).

The first step on this way is a first impression - the connection is apparent through the repetition of word 'first'. The second step is the second impression - ah yes my flawless logic and the sure sign I'm a Pole.

Yeps exactly, the second impression, don't underestimate it. These days everybody is raving about the importance of the first impression, completely forgetting the second one. Recent studies show that the frequent repetition of word 'first' impairs the short-term memory which in turn could explain why the second impression tends to be forgotten. Sorry, I'm digressing. Let's delve into the nitty-gritty practicalities instead.

1. Attire
To truly impress your future family you should wear a white and red T-shirt with a huge POLSKA front motif (you can settle for POLAND if you feel your Polish is not there yet). Lots of Poles abroad wear these T-shirts, my guess is they don't want to be confused with Laotians. Furthermore that should be your only piece of garment, yes you read it right, nothing else. Not only will it endear you to the lady of the house and emphasize your patriotic feelings towards your girlfriend's homeland but it will also ascertain her sexual orientation in the eyes of her family.

You know, homosexuality is a tricky subject in Poland, bit like roads. Therefore you won't see any gays or lesbians on bicycles here.

2. Etiquette
Poles tend to be polite and courteous, using all kinds of archaic honorifics when addressing each other. I won't bore you with that so just call everyone CURVA. The beauty of the word is that unlike most of the polish nouns this one is not gender-sensitive. So yes you can call both her parents CURVA. Same applies to your girlfriend, should you forget her name. In fact this is exactly what should be featured on the back of your T-shirt in same size letters as POLSKA. To spell it correctly, replace C with K and V with W respectively.

So with the introduction covered, it's time for some good ol' Polish fun - that's either church or vodka. If you feel adventurous you may try combining both, again if you are not sure how to address the priest, go with the aforementioned word.

As for the vodka don't just drink it, eye-ball it straight from the bottle.
With that kind of second impression no one will think of the first one. Remember the fork!(leave the spoon for the birth of your love child)

Flagless & Shameless;)

P.S Just be yourself, nice and open and everything will be fine. Good luck and all the best to you and girlfriend.
pgtx 30 | 3,156
19 Aug 2010 #26
Flagless & Shameless;)

shame on you !!!
lol

so much work you put into this post and such crap came out!
but fun to read ;)
trener zolwia 1 | 939
19 Aug 2010 #27
Nah. He did end with this:

Just be yourself, nice and open and everything will be fine. Good luck and all the best to you and girlfriend.

pgtx 30 | 3,156
19 Aug 2010 #28
i know!
JustysiaS 13 | 2,240
19 Aug 2010 #29
lets fly the flag for the flagless Pole ;) nice post
Amathyst 19 | 2,702
19 Aug 2010 #30
Is it me or does anyone else find it strange that someone would come to a forum before meeting the future in-laws to ask questions from a bunch of randoms?

And before anyone jumps on me, I dated someone Hungarian for over a year and never once frequented a Hungarian forum...I dont feel the need to share my life with the world and his wife! If I wanted to know something about Hungarian langauge or culture I asked him.


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