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Advice for meeting her Polish parents!


Rusty  
16 Dec 2006 /  #1
siema,

I've been together with my girlfriend, but due to studies/travelling/etc. neither of us have met the other's family. I'm flying over to meet them just after Christmas and naturally im a little nervous (boje sie strasznie!).

I've not had any formal polish lessons but i am a reasonably confident speaker, me and my girlfriend can happily communcate everything we want to say in Polish, and rarely have misunderstandings.

Firstly, i want to bring them gifts. I'm not sure if her dad likes whisky, and vodka is a no-no as we all know its much better over there :)

I thought about maybe buying some flowers on the way to their house for the mother.
Anybody got any other suggestions?

The main question is are there any customs to do with meeting i should be aware of? Should i just shake hands with everyone? Also should i be using the 3rd person pan/pani all the time?

Also is there another way to say 'bardzo mi milo'?

I've spoken to my girlfriefnd about this a lot but as you can imagine, she means the world to me and i want to get it right, i nie chce byc meczacy dla niej teraz.

Any help would be appreciated,

A nervous Rusty
iwona 12 | 542  
16 Dec 2006 /  #2
Nice flowers is a good idea and whisky or brandy(cognac) - it is good gift for father.You could also bring something - maybe nice sweets or something special from your own country.

I think that shaking hands with everyone is fine-it is formal but proper for first meeting.

I would recommend call them Pan/Pani . I guess that sooner or later they will ask you to call them by names.
gues69  
28 Feb 2007 /  #3
Shake hands and be polite to everybody. Bring good brand vodka for father (or even better - brandy or whisky) and flowers to mother. Pretend you like Polish foods (even if you don't :).
daffy 23 | 1,508  
28 Feb 2007 /  #4
finlandia or maximus vodka :)

Jameson Irish Whiskey :)
King Sobieski 2 | 716  
28 Feb 2007 /  #5
being Polish do you think they would appreciate Finnish vodka??

and jamiesons is cheap rubbish...try chivas regal, glenmorangie, glenfeidich or dimples.
daffy 23 | 1,508  
1 Mar 2007 /  #6
being Polish do you think they would appreciate Finnish vodka??

Being people, they'd appreciate a gift :) And finlandia IS good

and jamiesons is cheap rubbish

Blasphemer (Jameson is sweet)

:) Powers is also a nice whiskey tez
flettonboy - | 2  
1 Dec 2007 /  #7
Merged: Meeting my Polish girlfriend's parents for the first time, any tips!!

Next year i am going with my girlfriend to a wedding in poland. I will meet her parents then for the first time. Besides the obvious, speak the language, be polite is there anything traditional i should do?
hello 22 | 891  
1 Dec 2007 /  #8
Nice bucket of flowers for the Mother and a good vodka or foreign whiskey for the Father won't hurt. Be sure not to show fake smile - they will notice that and probably won't appreciate that too much. Be natural.

Oh, and try to eat the food they offer so go there with empty stomach.:)
flettonboy - | 2  
1 Dec 2007 /  #9
Thanks i can eat anything thats for sure so no worries there.
z_darius 14 | 3,968  
1 Dec 2007 /  #10
Hey! Was that meant as an offense? :)) (j/k)
hello 22 | 891  
1 Dec 2007 /  #11
Also, ask your girfriend if there are to be any other members of her family (like sisters, brothers etc.) - then a good box of chocolates won't hurt to carry with you; they will find it nice.
sana 2 | 48  
1 Dec 2007 /  #12
Thanks i can eat anything thats for sure so no worries there.

yeah, the food part is important for the girl mother, so better like it :-)
miranda  
1 Dec 2007 /  #13
have a drink with the father/brother and eat the food her mother prepare+gifts, even if small will be greately appreciated.
AvJoeUK  
1 Dec 2007 /  #14
Talk about football with the Father and accept the Jammydodgers and tea from the Mother, Pet the dog and all is good!
miranda  
1 Dec 2007 /  #15
forgot about that:P
AvJoeUK  
1 Dec 2007 /  #16
Hey worked for me! :D
tomekcatkins 8 | 130  
1 Dec 2007 /  #17
Nice bucket of flowers for the Mother

(Make sure to give an odd number.)
osiol 55 | 3,922  
1 Dec 2007 /  #18
Pet the dog

Making friends with the dog is important.
I stayed with a family in Poland and I very quickly became the dog's best friend.
The others probably thought I was mad, spending nearly all my time running round the garden throwing a stick around.
So don't spend too much time getting to know the animals.

(Make sure to give an odd number.)

Any particular reason?
beckski 12 | 1,617  
1 Dec 2007 /  #19
Meeting my Polish girlfriend's parents for the first time, any tips!!

If you're going to their house, compliment them on how nice their home looks. (Even if it may look like it's been to hell & back.)
irishdeano 5 | 304  
1 Dec 2007 /  #20
just be yourself.........
Merry Wanderer 1 | 14  
1 Dec 2007 /  #21
lol I really wish I'd known all this before I met my friends' parents. I'm sure I culturally put my foot in it a few times.

I don't approve of discrimination but the "Oh only he's foreigner" excuse dose help when my ignorance shows. :-)

But I'm learning and trying so alls well (I hope) :-P
ianbrown - | 1  
23 Jan 2009 /  #22
Thread attached on merging:
meeting girlfriends mum

i am meeting my polish girlfriends mum for the first time soon, and i was wondering if there are any dos or donts any advice would be great. thanks
Wroclaw 44 | 5,387  
23 Jan 2009 /  #23
This thread might be useful:

Meeting family and staying with my Polish friends parents
wildrover 98 | 4,451  
23 Jan 2009 /  #24
meeting my polish girlfriends mum

Take her some flowers , dress smartly , take your shoes off before you go in the house , and be polite....thats all you need...relax and smile a lot...you will be fine....
bigsav 4 | 9  
24 Jun 2009 /  #25
Jun 24, 09, 11:34 - Thread attached on merging:
Need some advice on what to come along with or wear while at her parents

helloo everyone,
i have been seeing this girl for a while now and her parents want to meet me. i am a foreigner and we do things a bit differently where i come from so i want to have an idea on how its done in the polish way. i need some advice on what to come along with or wear. i don't want her parents to feel disrespected or anything but then i dont wanna be overdressed hence giving them the idea that i am there to ask for their daughter's hand in marriage.

thanks
Bzibzioh  
24 Jun 2009 /  #26
Go casual but with your shoes polished and hairs combed.

My father asked my future husband on the first visit to help him install electrical outlet so be prepared for anything.
plk123 8 | 4,150  
24 Jun 2009 /  #27
ask your girl. she knows her folks.
daffy 23 | 1,508  
25 Jun 2009 /  #28
And of course just be polite and honest - they will like you for who you are not who you are trying to be. That, the fact you make their daughter happy will go a long long way to them liking you :)
aphrodisiac 11 | 2,444  
25 Jun 2009 /  #29
My father asked my future husband on the first visit to help him install electrical outlet so be prepared for anything.

I can see that:)
bunia 1 | 134  
25 Jun 2009 /  #30
Be polite and dont show too much of intimate affection towards their daughter (all deep intimate kisses is a no no)
Its nice to bring some flowers for mother and alcohol to dad.
And if her mum is cooking - make sure you eat everything and you love the food (regardless of it actual taste :))
Good luck

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