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Child Support Poland - my story and advice request

29 Oct 2011 #1
Hi, im looking for advice like many of these men that have posted there problems regarding Child Maintenance in Poland.

I will start with my back ground leading upto meeting this young (polish) lady.

I was in the army for a few years here in the UK in which time i seen some pretty terrible things, i was based in Deepcut Barracks at the time of those mass suicides, and the most horrific memory that sticks with me is having a guy blow bits of his skull. brains and blood into my face. After finally getting out of that place (joining the army being my goal in life) the things i had seen slowly started to come back to my mind i delt with it the best any 19 year old guy could and tried to hide it deep inside myself. I started sinking deeper and deeper into Depression, at the age of 20 i got myself another job working in a night club where i then met a polish woman ( 4 years my Senior) as soon as i laid eyes on her i instantly had feelings for her after a few months of getting to know her i got the DJ in the club to ask her out on a date with me,

She was just everything i have ever wanted perfect in all ways Loving, honest and respectful not only to me but with her self aswell. We were out new years eve and she got a little drunk and needed me to hold her up as i walked her home back to the student house she was staying in, it was raining pretty hard that night on the way back so i gave her my jacket, and i remember her staring up at me with just an intense look i tried to resist looking down at her but gave in, that moment i looked into her eyes i knew i was just completely in love with her, i sound found that she was helping me deal with things from my past by keeping me positive and looking forward to a bright future with her. skipping ahead She got pregnant a few months into the pregnancy she wanted to go back home to spend time with her family and friends, i thought i was making the right decision by letting her go but the female mind works in mysterious ways(i'll get to that later) after a few months of her being back in poland there was no talk from her side of coming back to the uk, Of course i was really upset and angry with her i mean she had not only taken herself away from me but my daughter too. I must add i was totally againest becoming a parent but as time went on i was looking more and more forward to the idea.

My anger and emotions grew to the point were i was losing keeping in contact with her ( although she did try her best to keep in contact with me(i say this because i dont want her judged, she is a good woman) she called me one night and i told her there was nothing between us, it was a stupid and immature way of dealing with responsibility at the time, and have regretted it to this day 4 years later, i can only justify it by; i thought i was giving her what she wanted in the sense that i didn't think she wanted to come back to the UK to be with me as she had told me herself she felt there was nothing here for her.

Anyway as you can imagine after loosing this wonderful woman and my daughter that wasn't even born yet my mental state decreased again and thoughts from the army were thrown into the mix, i was so down and depressed i tried to kill myself thinking how much of a failure to my unborn child i had become.

I hated myself so much i couldn't even think of contacting her and letting her see what i had become so the baby was born on 4th october god bless her, by a mother who wanted nothing more than me to be there with her. How do i know this you are probally asking well it took me over 3 years to get out of the unfit mental state i was in and on the 17th of May this year i sent her a mail, short but just to try and establish contact between us again.

Things went well really well to the fact that a month later we were back together in a relationship, the time between my split with this woman the thought of another woman hadn't even crossed my mind nor did i stray from her even though we were seperated she was and still is the only woman for me and she tells me the same thing and i believe her. but there was something important she had to tell me one day that she had nearly given up hope on me and that she had to put forward a petition for maintenance.

Now this is where my questions come into play.

But Firstly i want to point out that i want to support my child and if i earn 10,000PLN a month i am more than whilling to pay the whole ammount towards what ever my child needs.

But here goes:

- The court in Poland awarded her maintenance at the rate of 800PLN pcm for 10 months

- then increased this too 1000PLN pcm for 12 months

- then a further increase too 1400PLN pcm for 26 months

- Also 3000PLN was awared to her for the pregnancy

- And then the court costs where made for me too pay with reached nearly 3000PLN

On the letter in front of me now it stands that i owe to date with interest and everything nearly 88,568.77 PLN
quit a heavty bill to be hit with at once.

Since being in contact with my now again partner i have sent her on average 1800pln a month from June upto October this year so for 5 months.

With the court case i recieved nothing but papers in polish nor did i have any involvement into my earnings and out goings.
I recieved a letter saying about a window to appeal the case a year after it had been made by which time i had 1 week before the enforcement order in the UK.

Over them years i was on the sick for depression on suicide watch and benifits so had no chance mentally to work because of the state i was in, i couldn't face the outside world and felt as if my life was meaningless.

There is no way i can go back them 3 years and changed what i earned or even stop the mother of my child from leaving me although i would if possible now i was recieving at one stage recieving £340 a month

on which £200 had to go to rent as you can see i had no life at all leaving me with £140 or 650PLN a month before even leaving the house or before food, so i didn't have any money back theni just wondering how so much was awarded basically behind my back without my imput into the case and how they think its possible for me to pay so much, like i said i have been paying on average the ammount of £365 per month although i am ment to pay £312 for the monthly maintenence plus £80 for the back dated ammount which equals £392 pcm or 1,928.83 PLN. also the ammount i am currently trying my best to pay dosn't even cover the interest rate so even though i am sending £312 plus the £53 for the back dated ammount the interest of the total back dated ammount is still going up each month by over £100 which would mean i need to pay £465 or 2,288.03 PLN a month for the back dated ammount to stay the same, she also tells me she did plan to take it to court again to increase it further by another £120 and that they would have awarded it, thus in total meaning i would have had to pay £585 or 2,878.48 PLN a month to always be in debt of 88,568 PLN in which case there is statutory interest would just further increase. Ever time i go to my local shop to pay this ammount they have a little giggle at me because men here dont even pay close to this ammount for 3 kids per month.

i dont know if it changes anything but i have recently just come back from poland after spending 5 weeks out there and meeting my child for the first time in person, and all i can say is what an experiance and that it has made me want to be appart of her life like nothing else in this world.

I would really like help here in anyway shape or form as i want to get this dealt with so i can be happy and thus be happy for my child and my childs mother

Thank you all who respond for your time.
carrie65 2 | 40
29 Oct 2011 #2
My partner was asked to pay 500PLN per month for his child when he was divorced in Poland, at the time this was 50% of his earnings. When he arrived in the UK he found employment and was earning about £750 a month so raised it to 1000PLN as he could live ok on the 550£ left. This seems a reasonable amount as his ex has the flat and there is only one child. I think you need to get in touch with a good family law solicitor who can deal with international cases, Wikkivorce site may be able to suggest one. If you explain your circumstances during the last few years the courts may well allow you to pay the arrears in a smaller monthly sum. 2878PLN is way too high for a support payment. Money goes further in Poland and you have to live as well. Hope this helps.
delphiandomine 88 | 18,331
29 Oct 2011 #3
Hi, im looking for advice like many of these men that have posted there problems regarding Child Maintenance in Poland.

The best advice I can give you is to get a good UK solicitor. The Polish courts are renowned for being thoroughly idiotic and bureaucratic - and the family courts are especially prone to siding with women. You really, really, really need to protect yourself in the UK more than anything - Poland will think nothing of trying to get you deported there if you don't pay the court.

You should get legal aid in your condition - and perhaps someone like this can help -

What I'd recommend is finding a solicitor who has experience of the Polish legal system - perhaps here - scroll down, there's a lady called Barbara who appears to be Polish and who specialises in Family law - this is exactly what you need.

Don't waste your time with online forums - you really, really, really have to get a good solicitor who understands Poland as soon as possible.
carrie65 2 | 40
29 Oct 2011 #4
This realy is good advice because everyone here has different experiences and the amount you are being asked to pay is nearly twice the net polish salary per month.

Outside of Warsaw the average flat rent is only 5-600PLN, utilities are cheaper too, the amount my partner pays ensures that his son's lifestyle has not been affected by the divorce in financial terms. Also if you are paying less this allows you to visit your child more often.
Gustav 1 | 50
29 Oct 2011 #5
The Polish courts are renowned for being thoroughly idiotic

Delphia making his sweeping unsubstantiated claims yet again...

Don't waste your time with online forums - you really, really, really have to get a good solicitor who understands Poland as soon as possible.

This is all that needs said.
Ironside 52 | 11,968
29 Oct 2011 #6
Delphia making his sweeping unsubstantiated claims yet again...

He is right this time....courts in Poland are unpredictable in a bad way...more often than not.... or oftener as my friend used to say and who is no more..
Seanus 15 | 19,706
29 Oct 2011 #7
However, all that is needed is training in the Hague Convention on Maintenance. It doesn't take a genius to wade through the various terms.
delphiandomine 88 | 18,331
29 Oct 2011 #8
Delphia making his sweeping unsubstantiated claims yet again...

I suggest familiarising yourself with the Polish media, where you can routinely read about absurd decisions, ridiculous bureaucracy and utterly idiotic thought processes, then? Are these all lies? What about the legal professionals themselves, many of whom will admit in private and publicly that it has huge problems?

But hey, it's easier to insult the poster, isn't it?

He is right this time....courts in Poland are unpredictable in a bad way...more often than not.... or oftener as my friend used to say and who is no more..

It's the sheer unpredictability that makes it a terrible system. And let's be honest - a Polish woman in a Polish family court with a sob story about that evil foreigner who impregnated her and then left her - of course she's going to get a good deal. Poles are notorious for siding with their own no matter how bad they are, after all.

And we don't mention how friends and connections can get you a favourable deal here. Heck, look at how politicians of all colours have manipulated it for their own ends. Ziobro's appointees, anyone? And anyone who believes that PO and the SLD haven't done the same is in dreamland.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
29 Oct 2011 #9
Well said, delph. Poles are overwhelmingly biased towards their own. Shamefully blatant about it! I saw it in mediation as a translator. Until that changes, what faith can be placed in their system? Discrimination Central.
Gustav 1 | 50
29 Oct 2011 #10
For an English teacher you have a remarkably poor grasp of your own language-

The Polish courts are renowned for being thoroughly idiotic

Courtesy of the Cambridge Online Dictionary:
(renowned: famous for something)
(thoroughly :completely, very much)

To paraphrase "The Polish courts are famous for being completely stupid'

Quite rightly, I called this 'a sweeping unsubstantiated claim' because... it is an utterly idiotic statement to make.

Of course there are problems with the legal system- name a country which has a perfect system. In every country, legal professionals complain about the legal framework and the media report on controversial cases. Good news stories don't sell newspapers!

There are problems with the Polish legal system, but you often exaggerate for attention apparently.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
29 Oct 2011 #11
To be fair, I know some good lawyers and judges here. They were my students.
Ironside 52 | 11,968
30 Oct 2011 #12
Panic are contaminated !!!
Seanus 15 | 19,706
30 Oct 2011 #13
No, I'm a fair judge of such things.
OP Shyfx
31 Oct 2011 #14
I Dont want any favouritism for myself, i want to pay her back for the years she struggled and compenstate her for this time, but i want it to be fair and them to take into consideration my situation.

I have applied and been granted Legal aid upto an ammount of £3,000 (14,700PLN) it was good you mentioned that as if i had applied any later i wouldn't have gotten it as the goverment here are getting rid of it soon.

After talking this through now with my Girlfriend (the mother of the child) it seems she wants to help she has said she didn't want any interest to be added to the ammount and has also contacted the court and ask if it can be suspended.

I knew she was a fair person and not just money hungry this is why i asked for her not to be judged in my pervious post.

Also if any of you can put forward any "Good" polish Lawyers in the area of Rzeszow it would be really helpful.

Many Thanks.
PWEI 3 | 612
31 Oct 2011 #15
Firstly, you can only be forced to pay three years back. Why are you apparently being told to pay for four years?
Secondly, if she wants part payment waived, she doesn't need to ask the court for that: she can waive it herself.
Thirdly, have you had a paternity test done?
Knee Grow
31 Oct 2011 #16
"Good" polish Lawyers

forget polish! do only good lawyers exist? without paying my opinion they like hungry dogs throw em meat($) and make them bark like you want to
delphiandomine 88 | 18,331
31 Oct 2011 #17
Of course there are problems with the legal system- name a country which has a perfect system.

I find it hilarious that you're defending the Polish legal system to make a point, when all sorts of commentators from bloggers through to human rights organisations have commented on the terrible problems that the Polish system has. Then again, what do they know? I mean, you want to make a point against some random person online, so screw them - they know nothing!

Ask yourself why Lepper was never imprisoned, and you've got your answer as to why the Polish legal system sucks.

Also if any of you can put forward any "Good" polish Lawyers in the area of Rzeszow it would be really helpful.

No. Don't get a Polish lawyer in Poland - get one in the UK. Polish ones will be prone to seeing it from "her side" and will likely **** it up on purpose.
6 Mar 2017 #18
hi everyone. can anyone here could give me an advise about child support. the story goes like this. My husband is a Polish man and he had a relationship with a polish woman (they are not married). they live together from 2006 to 2013. they split in 2013 and my husband move in the UK. last 3 years ago my husband ex file a case on court about child support. my husband need to pay 100 pln a month which his ex agreed. from then up to now my husband is paying the child support a month. my question is do she have the right to ask for additional amount every month or my husband should stick what the court agreed to pay which is 100 pln a month?

thank you.
dolnoslask 6 | 2,986
6 Mar 2017 #19
100zl per month (20 pounds) is not enough to properly support a child in Poland, he should be paying 500zl, this should not be a problem as he is earning in the UK.

He needs to man up retain some dignity, and take proper and full responsibility for his child.
6 Mar 2017 #20
100pln just for his son. and he is sending some money for material things and for other stuff

or is it normal that his ex always threatened him to charge in court everytime she ask for more?
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,838
6 Mar 2017 #21
what kind of sad loser only pays 20 quid a month for his child? What really gets me is that there are women who go along with this shyte.
6 Mar 2017 #22
I'd be surprised if a Polish court awarded as little as 500zl per month. Here in Warsaw even if a man has zero income courts will rule he has to pay 1,000zl per month child support; for kids and courts in Gdansk that's 900zl. The fact that the OP claims a Polish court ruled the father has to pay 100zl makes me think that either she has completely misunderstood the situation or that this post is just yet more abuse of the guest user function.

BTW, welcome back.

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