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Use of Kochanie in Polish


Sunflower 10 | 76
26 Jul 2007 #1
Hi all, could you tell me if "Kochanie" is a term you would use to address a friend, for example a male friend.. or is it "too" friendly, if you know what I mean? Or can it be used to say "sweetie" or "dearie"? I know my Polish friend sometimes calls her little baby boy "moje kochanie".. but then that's another way of using it....
Zgubiony 15 | 1,553
26 Jul 2007 #2
If it were me? I'd take it as if you were calling me your sweetheart.
OP Sunflower 10 | 76
26 Jul 2007 #3
Really? mmm ok.... that's interesting... one of my good friends knows a Polish girl and she has started to text him with "Kochanie". He asked me about it and I said I'd ask everyone on here. Mmm.. she already has a boyfriend too.. so it would never just be used in a friendly context then between a man and a woman?
Zgubiony 15 | 1,553
26 Jul 2007 #4
Others can take it differently though. I guess it depends on who says it to you. I'm sure others will have a comment.
dannyboy 18 | 248
26 Jul 2007 #5
I would certainly not like it if my partner called someone else kochanie apart from her son.

If it were a little bit of flirting, I would get over it, but on an SMS, no way - I would not feel comfortable with that.
OP Sunflower 10 | 76
26 Jul 2007 #6
ok, thanks for that.. it does sound like she's coming on to him then.. oh dear....
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,099
26 Jul 2007 #7
Can 'kochanie' not be used as a friendly term like here in Britain some friends say to each other 'how are you darling?'. Maybe like 'jak sie masz kochanie' to a friend???
Krzysztof 2 | 973
26 Jul 2007 #8
yes, it could be that way, like almost anything depending on context and interpersonal relations, but both persons involved in such case should know/feel that the word shouldn't by taken literally, that there's another meaning to it (for example "Kochanie moje" said by a man to a woman, more seldom viceversa, but also possible, both more or less the same age, the speaking person older than the other, and it should be said with a little changed intonation, no so affectedly, would be simply patronising - the way you could address your kid who just did something bad/stupid.) Otherwise, without all this "extraverbal" extenuating circumstances, so in 99.99% cases, it's simply "my sweetheart/ my love"

like here in Britain some friends say to each other 'how are you darling?'. Maybe like 'jak sie masz kochanie' to a friend???

For me it would be acceptable between women, as at least some of them have a tendency to use slighty more affected language, but in a mam-man or man-woman conversation, rather not.

But as I read in other thread (about the word "pig"), someone's gf calls him "often baranie" and it's OK, while in almost any other cases it would be, more or less, but definitely offending.

So you may alter the socially accepted meaning of many words, but both parts must know the rules of this "game", which I guess is identical both in Polish and in other languages/cultures.
Ranj 21 | 947
26 Jul 2007 #9
Hi all, could you tell me if "Kochanie" is a term you would use to address a friend, for example a male friend.. or is it "too" friendly, if you know what I mean? Or can it be used to say "sweetie" or "dearie"?

I have some Polish friends and when I say "kochanie", I usually mean sweety.....doesn't mean I have a romantic feeling towards the person.....that's just how I address people I care about......I do refer to my beloved as "sweety", but he knows that it is in an entirely different context.....;) For myself, I always let people know I care or love them when I'm saying goodbye (whether it be by phone, or in person) because I know how short life can be, and I don't want anyone in my life second-guessing how I felt about them or how they have affected my life......
PolishXBarbie 3 | 50
26 Jul 2007 #10
I use it, I think its friendly to use for either sex.

just dont mix up kochana and kochanie lol
sledz 23 | 2,250
27 Jul 2007 #11
Guys dont use " moja kochanie" if you live in the US

its too strong at first........

I understand it sounds good
Honeybee 7 | 26
30 Jul 2007 #12
Ok, ok, let me get this straight. Kochanie may be used to convey romantic feelings OR as a sweet term of endearment.

For example, last week at a party I threw for a male friend of mine, as he was making to leave, he gave me a hug, full embrace, and told me he loved me. I didn't say anything. Not because I don't feel the same, but because I didn't know if I heard what I heard. My grandmother who was standing quite close to us and is blind, says she heard him loud and clear. My question is this, if I use kochanie with him, will he think it's love or because I'm calling him a "pet name" or what? I hope that made sense.
psyko514
25 Jul 2008 #13
Sorry to revive an old thread, but I'm kinda limited right now and just have a quick question: What is the proper pronunciation of "kochanie"?

Thanks!
cjjc 29 | 408
26 Jul 2008 #14
Ok so I'm English and I'm learning so don't flame me but I'd guess phonetically it would be:

co-ha-nye

:)
glamrockxx - | 36
26 Jul 2008 #15
just dont mix up kochana and kochanie

Why? lol Polish is so confusing to me. What's the difference? And what is kochany? For a guy right?
kjersti 1 | 4
26 Jul 2008 #16
from what i understand (which is not a lot at all) Kochana is more like 'my love' and kochanie is more like darling, dearest.. right? so one would be a little more intense?

Kochanie sounds really feminine to me for some reason.

do girls say that to their boyfriends a lot in Polish is it usually just vice versa?
Ewelinka86 - | 1
23 Oct 2008 #17
You use the word 'kochanie' when you address something to your partner(male and female) fe: Kochanie(Honey) can you do shopping after work? It shouldn't be used for friends as it's too personal. However, 'kochana'(which means you talk to woman) or 'kochany'(male) is often used as a friendly way of addressing friend fe: Kochana are we going out after work?- which means that you ask your female friend to go out. However these 2 words are more likely to be used by girls as used by guys can seem to be taken as homosexual way of talking(if said to men) or offering more than you wanted( by talking to woman). My advice is to use them carefully and the best only to your partner. But also you can use them in a sarcastic way and then feel free to try
Mirelle - | 2
27 Oct 2008 #18
My polish friend (women) calls me "slonecko" or "kochanie" - depends on her mood. And i call my partner "kochanie" but i would never say it to another man.
ihaveaquestion
11 Sep 2009 #19
hello everyone, i would like to know what is the gender of the word kochanie, is it male or female... or neither. when speaking with my girlfriend should i use moja kochanie?
Vincent 9 | 892
11 Sep 2009 #20
It looks neutral so it would be moje. Someone will say if I'm wrong :)
Seanus 15 | 19,674
11 Sep 2009 #21
Moja kochanie, moje kochanie and mój kochanie could all be used informally (semantically) but, gramatically, Vincent is right. Moje kochanie is the most correct as kochanie is neutral (it).
pgtx 29 | 3,146
11 Sep 2009 #22
Moja kochana, moje kochanie and mój kochany

Seanus 15 | 19,674
11 Sep 2009 #23
Gramatically, those are the correct versions, yes. However, the others are semantically ok. PGTX, you must know that Polish is a living language and that Poles often use incorrect grammar.
pgtx 29 | 3,146
11 Sep 2009 #24
Poles often use incorrect grammar.

it doesn't mean that non-Poles have to learn with mistakes...
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,594
11 Sep 2009 #25
Kochanie is of the neutral gender, and the most correct form is moje. But many people use moja as well.
Seanus 15 | 19,674
11 Sep 2009 #26
Eh, evolution? Look at how English has evolved. For example, people almost always said 'a historic event'. They may say 'an historic event' now. I confirmed the grammatical accuracy of moja kochana, mój kochany and moje kochanie but also pointed out the living aspect of the language. After all, the title is 'use of kochanie' and not merely its grammatical soundness.
huciusr
4 Aug 2010 #27
usually You should use "kochanie" to someone You love or are in a relationship with (as darling, honey, babe). but to a friend You should use "kochana" (female friend) or kochany (male friend)

:)
southern 74 | 7,074
4 Aug 2010 #28
I always use kochanie because I often forget the names of my Polki.If i call them Anna I have 50% to get their name right.
obserwator
5 Aug 2010 #29
The correct grammatical forms are:
(mój) kochany (m.)
(moja) kochana (f.)
(moje) kochane (n.) (rarely used in 2. person, rather in 3. person like in "moje (u)kochane dziecko/kocię/miasto" = "my beloved child/kitten/city")

(moje) kochanie is another thing, b/c "kochanie" is verbal noun (gerund) and not adjective used as noun (like kochana/kochany).

You can say "kochanie" if:
1. you are referring to your beloved one (to man or woman) = "my love", in most cases without "moje", but not always ("Kochanie ty moje!!!" = "Oh, my love!!!")

Can be used in almost every sentence ("Podaj mi kochanie pilota! Przynieś mi kochanie piwo!" "Give me the remote, darling! Bring me a beer, my love!")

You can also use some diminutive words, especially animals (genus depending on its grammar gender). To a woman: żabciu/myszko/rybko (froggy/mice/fishy) To a man: misiu = teddy/small bear

2. you are talking sweet way to a kid (even if it's not your kid) = "sweetheart"/"sunny" ("Jak się kochanie nazywasz?" "What's your name, sweetheart?")

etc.

You can say "kochana" (to a woman) / "kochany" (to a man) if:
1. you are talking about your beloved one to another ppl: to friends or family members ("moja kochana się obraziła" = "my wife/gf took offence")

2. you are trying to force kindly someone to do something for you or you disagree, in most cases not nice b/c it's only formally polite ("Nic z tego, kochana!" = "No way, darling!"). Sometimes you can use "kochana" instead of "kochanie", but be sure the sentence will not sound impolite ("Kochana, idziemy do kina dzisiaj wieczorem?" / "Are we going to the cinema/movies this night, darling?")

3. sometimes between women, like saleswoman to the client, very informal and only in small shops of both women are 15-40 y.o. ("coś jeszcze kochana?" = "Anything else, darling?"); you can sometimes hear that also spoken to a men, especially if you are 20-25 y.o. and saleswoman is a bit older :-)

4. you are very thankful, so you can say informally "Jesteś kochana/kochany! Nie wiem, jak się odwdzięczę!" = "You are loved! I do not know how to return the favor!" and give a big big hug; it's informal and used only toward friends and family members, especially if both are girls/women ;-)

5. about something most favourite ("to moja ukochana/ulubiona sukienka" = "that's my favourite dress"/"that's the dress I love most")

etc.
vane
7 Mar 2011 #30
"kochanie" is like "baby"


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