Funny mistakes by Polish users of English

Strange, I am trying to find the thread where we shared English malapropisms a few years ago but I can`t. It seems there is no such thread at all. Did it ever exist? I remember we had a good laugh at some mistakes. Well, dear mods, get down to work... :):)

Well, here are a few language riddles from my own collection. They are not concocted, just real productions (both speech and writing ) by my students.

1. She is going to join the gym to lose some weights.

2. He has hurt his uncle.

3. Clowns are performing freaks at the circus.

4. What does Masid do on Sundays? He goes to the b..tch.

5. She raped him in a blanket.

Can you guess this one?
My t-shirt is wearing a purple shirt. (wrong pronunciation)

Typical examples of language "transfer" errors, otherwise known as "interference".

Thanks to you I learned a new word.

Is "liberal" a malapropism? It means the opposite of how it sounds and is not funny, so maybe it's not malapropism.

I hope you won`t develop this little obsession with liberals here. :):)

More

She has just crushed her car.

Yesterday we saw Star Wars - Episode Python Menace.

Rare planets and animal species are disappearing.

London was built my Romes.

Most of my clients are rich and I spend a lot of time in court. Student`s answer about the job - tennis instructor. :)

We were surrounded by dangerous waiters on all sides so there was no way to escape.

Druids were learned priests and lovemakers, wise men and bards.

P.ISSED TO MEET YOU!

Tell your students that "undocumented" does not mean what it says. It means "illegal".

And what do you think: is the prescription a receipt or not?

If a Pole goes to the doctor for a "recipe", the attending physician might look at them a little tilt!
:-)

No, Lyzko, receipt is much better as it really reminds of Polish recepta - prescription.

My teacher is wearing.......??

@Pawian, you might be interested to know that the word 'receipt' was frequently used for cooking recipes up until about the 1940s in British cookery books. Also, 'receipt' was the very old English term for a prescription.

Yes, my teacher! Good.

As for the old usage of receipt, now we know where the Polish borrowing comes from .

Bonus for you, I virtually choked with laughter after hearing this one:

It is the first time she has seen such a volcanic erection.

I thank from mountain for that:-)

Another set

All my favourite things are in the chicken.

What can you do in Scotland?
I can see Lassie.

I love going to my grandma on holiday because I love her foot.

She had an accident. She was hit by a "Star."

People were hatching noisily, while music was pouring out of the jukebox.

Ghosts are standing around the car, looking at the bride.

Bagingham Palace is a famous landmark.

She behaves like a dam.

He is wearing a liver jacket


That would suit the thread with Polish idioms in direct English translation more. :)

Amusing nevertheless!

I wonder is anybody living outisde Poland can catch this one.

As "gwiazda" can mean both the astronomical as well as the entertainment variety, specific cultural context aside, I think one might easily see the allusion.

Ziemowit asked a good question. To guess that "Star" you must know Polish contexts quite well. :):)

If you even bother shaving your bird, make sure then that it's a pocket razor....for a close shave:-)
"Bird" is older US slang for the male organ!
LOL

I suppose most Polish pupils, learning about beard, moustache etc tend to mispronounce the word. Some of them continue till they are students plus.

A person can also be a beard as wellLOL

Polish mispronunciation of English, leading to those amusing malapropos mentioned previously, in large measure stems from those fierce consonant clusters along with
gentle "dropping" of the 'r-sound' in words such as "gorzy" > "gAUzy" etc. That almost whirring-type sound scarcely translates into English distinctions like "beard", "bear", "bird", and so forth, as well as pronouncing a word like "perfORmance" correctly. Then of course, there's also syllable stress.....

I hope you understand what students intended to say/write:

I am going to travel this somewhere.

Turtles are in danger because people destroy their legs.

Gratings from London.

He was flying a cat.

She is going to attend a soft defence class.

Mr Sheenan works like a sleeve.

Have you phoned your dog yet?

He likes stick and salt.

I like travelling because I like seeing movements of the past.

Well I can't. I thought it was a mistake and 'star' was meant to be 'car' initially, but I know it's not right. What is it then?


In this set, not all :(

Star WAS meant as a car. More exactly, a truck produced in communist Poland and after. :)


Probably stick and salt. It was faulty pronunciation.

Not only English teachers have fun with students` funny mistakes. Polish teachers, too. Here are a few remarks concerning Polish literature and the way students perceive it. P.ii.ss with laughter, so called.... )


polandsite.proboards.com/post/1488

Yay! Even though I didn't actually know anything about the car..........


Yep, I couldn't get that one.
I particularly liked, ' after collecting scrap paper, we sold it together with our teacher', but just as good was the unintentional source proboards.compost!
Pmsl!

Stick and salt was mispronounced steak and salad, please.

Both spelling and pronunciation mistakes.

There were only donkeys and small fishing bats back then.

Some TVs broke into our house while we were on holiday.

I will be here for a whale.

Do you know the course of the Baskerville family?

The USA is a bike country.

In early 2000s when I use to smoke I was asked in Poland for FIRE,initially I was like WTF?then I realised it meant lighter or a match to light a smoke.In US we say :"Can I have a light please",I dont know whats right though.

"" I was asked in Poland for FIRE""
Exactly, it is still used by smoking people whose lighters have gone bad. Funny, indeed.

we still talk about it in family and joke that in todays date you would think someone is attacking you and if you are armed you will pull out your weapon before deciding who to fire at esp when they would just say "FIRE PLEASE"

Off topic I know, but once a German asked me at a party here in New York "Have you please fire?"
Luckily, I knew she was simply asking for a light:-)