Affairs don't pay - Poles say

A survey conducted by pollster CBOS has shown that 72% of the respondents believe a 'romans' (affair) involves more drawbacks than benefits, 17% say the pros and cons are equal and only 3% feel there are more advantages than disadvantages. Regarding causes of infidelity, 44% pointed to boredom and 41% said it reflected a crisis in the existing relationship.

Nearly half (44 percent) of Poles believes that the cause of infidelity is boredom in a relationship, and according to 41 percent . romance is the result of a crisis in a relationship - CBOS survey shows .

17% says, pros and cons of romance and benefit are equal.
So, we can assume about half of them, 8.5%, on the benefit side a little bit more.

So, 72% + 8.5% = about 81% on the side of benefits.

About 80% are seperating or having problematic relations. That's, almost equal percentage above with people with opinions favoring benefits.

Either they are wrong in their opinions about benefits before starting relations or they are just simply lying when saying they believe benefits before starting relations.

Where is the effort to change things? Marriage is a contract entered into for better or for worse. It's not like trying out a new car by taking it for a test drive/spin. You build up to that position. Yes, there are troughs as well as peaks in life but communication helps marriages through that process. Yes, the temptation may exist to try sth new but consider carefully what you are doing. Marriage is a sacrifice and you are no longer in the position where you can play around on nights out. 44% pointed to boredom? That doesn't surprise me. Some Poles could really do with spicing up their lives and that comes from changing their outlook first and foremost. While it's by no means for me how to tell people how they should and shouldn't be, they might have more fulfilling relationships if they found hobbies which maintained their interest. Cheating is really shallow and invariably leads to complications. IMHO, the cons of doing so tend to vastly outweight the pros.

time consuming hobbies or those that keep one out of the house are a dangerous thing in a relationship. unless they are shared hobbies.

on the other hand. spending too much time with your partner can also lead to problems.

it's a difficult balance to master.

Absolutely right, Wrocław. As I always say, balance is key. Longevity does tend to be valued here but we have to remember which groups polls focus in on. I've never been a fan of polls for many reasons. First and foremost, they are misleading (just think Mori and Gallup around the time when Thatcher got her landslide). It's peoples' attempt to simplify things but painting some degree of inaccuracy and falsehood in so doing.

I wonder how many of the 72% that said complications arise have actually been unfaithful.

A poor man is supposedly more faithful to his spouse. Probably, because he doesn't have the money, to wine and dine a mistress.

Is it acceptable in Poland for married women to have affairs? Is this a cultural thing? People just turn a blind eye? She has been with her partner for 20 years, is having an affair with a Latin fellow, 5 years her junior and its been going on for 3 years. She has an 18 year old son and says she is having sleep overs at her bestfriends house. Is this ok? I don't get it.

Not an Irish thing. My husband would kill me and him if he ever found out.

I'd say it's more acceptable (provided it's done discretely).


If the primary reason you don't sleep with a man other than your husband is that he'd kill you, you may wish to re-evaluate your relationship.

So why don't they just leave their mates? Best of both worlds. Boy toy on one side and partners paycheque on the other.

That and their kids plus a joint mortgage.

So let me ask, if her husband were to find out, is there any reprocutions, or does life just carry on as usual, and she carries on with the affair? Is this normal? This is acceptable to the children?

Just have to get use to the society.