She wouldn't be the first parent to over-react. 1 cm of hair removed through no pain nor stress in the company of a loving grandmother is a laughing matter in the scope of all the things that could befall a child.
My M inL is great! Maybe there is something wrong with you guys :)
My ex MnL was a sweetie too,loved her to bits, but I think its different for us, its the clash of two females that produces the real sparks :)
And Im guessing re the Hair its also different for all the short haired folks out there, dont come near my barnet since I started growing it out a couple of years ago, not without my express permission and atleast 10 years prof' hair cutting experience :)
I live in Vietnam, through work. I meet a lot of expats here who are eternally complaining about traffic, streets not as clean as they would like it to be, trouble with their land lords etc etc and you'd think they really don't want to be here. Vietnam has only been an open economy for the last eleven years, there has been massive development's in terms of infrastructure, economic growth, living standards but when it's this rapid it comes at a cost because you're not necessarily ready for it. We have to appreciate that, the way i look at it - nobody asked me to come here, i work here (i do love Saigon, what's not to like?) and if it becomes unbearable i will go back home.
Although some of the things here might be painful compared to what your personal expectations are we can not change it, the locals will do it in their own time when they are ready. Until such time, i plan to enjoy the little pleasures that makes this country, people and thier culture unique. After all if it was the same as every where else, what appeal is there to even travel? take a deep breath and start looking at what makes the Polish people special and start looking at the positives and not just the negatives and may help a bit. Cheers.
pip, hair grows back, body parts don't, organs don't, specific parts of the brain don't. That was very much an over reaction on your part.
perhaps it sounds like it- but it wasn't at the time. this was a single event in a whole slew of events that happened- this was the proverbial icing on the cake. cutting of hair- no big deal. but it was not her decision to make regarding my child. she had raised her children and it was my turn to raise mine. My husband asked her point blank "did you like it when your mother or mother in law made decisions about us without your consent?" this worked. ultimately those who do things like this have had it done to them- they think it is ok- even though it seriously pissed them off at the time it was happening to them. the vicious mother in law cycle.
I now have a very good relationship with my mother in law. she knows what her role as a grandparent is.--every so often she needs reminding, like over christmas when she was spoon feeding my 6 year old, not ok with me or my husband. But all something like this takes is a reminder and all is good again.
For 4, let's just say I can understand pip's reaction pretty well :)
I noticed it again tonight. Sb insisted that 'eary' was a word (Scrabble night) and both myself and the other native denied its existence. However, she didn't want to be proven wrong so we just let it pass. There is no sense in arguing with many Poles as they just get huffy and can't swallow their pride. Myself and the other native just let things slide as we came to an agreement to do so. They think that, by virtue of getting some 'important' papers in the English language, that they are somehow streets ahead of qualified natives. Quite laughable but there we go. To us, it's like water off a duck's back.
When i started this thread, I complained about the difficulty in doing business in Poland. Some were supportive, many others said that I was making a mountain out of a molehill and that it was not so bad or that it was improving. Perhaps these people would like to explain the following article:-
I may have exaggerated but it seems to be getting worse.
I understand what you mean! I have met one particular "never wrong", a Polish girl I worked with. An example of her behavior;
We both did the same job (almost) and were both at the same level in the company, there was one particular task that was a complete impossibility due to logistics and other factors out of our control, I really do mean there was no logic or practical way of getting around the task it was impossible! Our boss told us to disregard the work as it was pointless. Everyone agreed, except this one girl who was convinced she could calculate away round it! One day we had a huge influx of work and I realised she hadn't touch any of it so asked her what she was doing, she said she was working on this useless task and I asked her why and she said because she "KNOWS" she is right. I told her it was pointless and I needed some help today and she said what she was doing was of the utmost importance and actually told me to "shush" putting her finger in my face! This did lead to a rather loud argument but anyway this all happened around lunch time, it got to around 7 in the evening and I had worked way past my finishing time I asked her if she was still doing the same thing, and she was! I did tell our boss that time purely because of the amount of work we had that day was huge and she got in trouble but guess what she even spoke back to him telling him she knew she was right!
Another I needed her to show me where she had filed something on the shared drive and she came over to my desk and told me to go to "XXXXX" I said "you have your hand on my mouse" she said "go to XXXXX" again I said "you have your hand on my mouse" again she said "go to XXXXX" again I said "you have your hand on my mouse". I am not joking this whole thing went on for about 10 minutes backwards and forwards and I could see she was getting angrier and angrier but again she had HER HAND ON MY MOUSE!! I kept pointing at her hand too, but I could see she was staring into the distance. She got so angry in the end she shouted "GO TO XXXXX" and proceeded to throw my mouse at me!!! Luckily it didn't get me, it missed by about a CM and bounced out the way. Now the whole time this was going on I had been really calm, I think part of that was disbelief that it just wasn't getting through. But when she throw the mouse at me I snapped and had a huge go at her, the CFO came and stood outside his office watching (oops!). Yet she still would NOT accept she was in the wrong, I could have had her sacked over it! And it wasn't the first time she had been that aggressive towards me and others! I honestly thought when she realised what she had done we would laugh at it I didn't expect my mouse to come flying at me! Which broke and I had to wait for another one!
There was always an excuse no matter how small or menial the mistake or misunderstanding was! Our boss admitted that he had gone home early on more than one occasion because she wanted a meeting with him and he just couldn't cope with it. He wasn't a weak man either. I left in the end because of her, you couldn't compromise with her at all on any level! And you can't work with some you have to work with as closely as with as I did with her without compromise! She even felt it was her right to know where I was every minute of the day even when I had booked half a days holiday for a hospital appointment, she could not see what was wrong with this, she was right!
BEFORE ANYONE GETS ANGRY AT ME!!!!!
On the flip side there was another Polish girl in the same department who was the total opposite of the one above, she would always admit her mistakes upfront and ask if she wasn't sure about something as she felt it may have been done differently in Poland. She said she was embarrassed by the one above as it gave other Poles a bad name and was worried they would all be tarred with the same brush. But even she had a bit of the "never wrong" about her when it came to non-work related stuff! LOL. But she is one of my closest friends now so I can forgive her that!
I have also come across Brits that are the same but I really do have to admit none of them were ever quite as bad as her!
There are a lot of normal people in Poland who are able to admit wrong.
Pawian, the gentlemen have their point. People are different - that's true - but we, Pani/Gospoda are eventually not as much different from each other as the gentlemen are different from us.
wierd. Not that I missed that but weird in that the exchange really read like a male-female encounter right down to the "you have your hand on my mouse" bit...
Teachers can be wrong for sure. It goes without saying A teacher should always bear in mind that they don't have the monopoly of wisdom and can be taught themselves. I wonder if Polish teachers understand that ;)
I decided to revive this thread in memory of Glen Davis.
Cecil Rohodes - "To be born English is to win first prize in the lottery of life"
The act of being responsible for your actions - standing up and be counted - taking your punishment like a man. The English language is littered with such phrases its in the DNA of anyone who grow up in the British education system pre 1997. Post 97 a dark cloud evolved under Blair and social-ism, there was an erosion of values a true moral decline in the British psyche. To answer the OPs question. The vast majority of Poles who grew up under the Polish Communists are devoid of any form of responsibility, its not in their DNA to admit responsibility, admitting responsibility would result in prison or possibly being killed. Post 1989 Poland was a culture of deception.
Asking why so many Poles have a failure to accept responsibility by British standards, is the same as asking a British person to be as Liberal thinking as many Poles. It would never work.
When Poles relocate to the UK, they are in awe of the natural beauty, kindness of people, openness of society and a truly caring social system. This is the reason they quickly absorb into their newly adopted country and become Anglophiles. Poland also have lots of natural beauty, although the people are largely unpleasant and jealous the society is not open and most people do not care outside of the family network.Many Poles will blame this on Poland being occupied for many decades/centuries.
The real question Avalon should have asked is why do Poles not trust, figure this one out and you will understand why the culture is devoid of responsibility.
Archives - 2010-2019 / Life / The Blame Game (Have you ever noticed that a Polish person is never wrong!?)
