Law /
UK born, want to move to Poland. Rules? [17]
Having kind of done the same thing and to a village, I can offer some advice but I am a pre-Brexiter as the above say if our shambles of a government doesn't get their act together life will become much harder.
Ok so here is a rundown of all the mistakes I made so you can try to avoid them.
English thinking vs Polish thinking
English
I want to live in the middle of nowhere with a beautiful view far away from a road in a little cottage heated with wood fires ahhhh how romantic.
I will get a Job if the poles can live off 400 pounds a month so can I, We will have a house paid for and so I am sure we can live the simple life it will be nice to not be so consumerist.
I will get a job teaching English I am sure I can earn a decent wage whilst being self-employed and having more free time to relax.
Winter will be pretty Snow on the ground white Christmases sledding and horse riding in the snow.
Polish
You must be by the main road because in the winter how will you drive the 2 km of dirt track to your house. Beautiful view ha! but what about connections to electricity water and gas, I know the person who sold you the land said the would all be connected next year but I am sure he is lying. Wood heating are you crazy?!!! do you know how long it takes to chop stack and dry your wood, plus when you go out for the day, the fire will go out and all your pipes freeze, what will you do then you English idiot.
400 pounds a month, good luck with that English man, do you know how Kurva expensive Biedronka is??? One week's shop is gonna come to at least 80 pounds
Of course, you can teach English but remember that as you will be self-employed we will take 200 of your 400 pounds a month salary for Zus (National insurance) whether you earn money or not, because that is the law so just deal with it. Alternatively, work all the hour's god sends to enable you to live and work legally, or join the majority of Natives on the black market, but remember next time you have an argument with your neighbor he will report you to the tax office.
That white **** will ruin your life! Wake up every morning to shovel the f driveway and the path outside your house because if someone slips on the pavement outside your house even though you live on a forest road in the middle of nowhere, they will take you to court for not getting up at 6 instead of 7 and cleaning it so they could walk past your house in the middle of nowhere just for fun. O and forget driving home from December to Feb that's just not going to happen its a free gym everytime you come back from work hauling the 2 kgs of potatoes on your back through the forest.
Ok Rant over
A lot of that is tongue in cheek but there are definitely some things to watch out for. Be more specific and I would love to help you out