Law / How to register a new business in Poland [129]

Hi, I'm new to Poland I moved here last week, having interviews at the moment, for teaching English.

It's clearly been explained to me that I need to set up myself as being self-employed, I've no problem doing this but are the steps the same as above?

I've done the residency bit (well I've been approved for my "temporary" time of staying here, even though I plan on staying here for a long long time) and am getting registered at my new address tomorrow. I get a Pesel number when I'm registered to the new address?

And when I set myself up as being self-employed, I get a Regon, yes? Then I can get a bank account?

What's next, get a ZUS? Then I apply for a NIP number when I get my first pay cheque?

Then how do my tax payments work? Will I need an accountant at the end of the tax year, actually, when is the end of the Polish tax year? Will I be able to claim expenses on the tax returns if I keep all relevant receipts over the year?

I realise there's a lot of questions there but I'm new to all this and would be extremely thankful of your help.

Cheers.

Food / Bread Baking in Poland [65]

I want to make some traditional bread from home, but i need buttermilk, is maślanka the same as buttermilk from back home?

Food / Bread Baking in Poland [65]

sound, thanks Convex

News / Is it possible that Polish president was assasinated? If so then, by whom? [921]

to reply to the original question...no, it's not possible...

Although the volcano erupting may have been planned so that Western European leaders and Obama couldn't attend and then the world would see bonds being repaired between some of the Slavic nations...please, come on and dont even bother with conspiracies, there are no conspiracies, y'all need to stop smoking so much weed/crack and you wont be so paranoid

:)

Life / Why do Silesians call people from Warsaw "Gorole"? [15]

plus anything that annoys Warsaw natives is always fun ;-P

Travel / Playing football in Katowice [3]

Cant you just go into the local school grounds, that what the locals doaround piotriwice

Life / Small change in shops in Poland!? [95]

It's coz they're moron that like nothin better than to pass on their grumpy mood onto other people.

I understand them, my Polish is gettin better, but as soon as they ask for change and I've only got notes I just answer and talk in English until they cave and give me the change that they actually always have.

It always happens in my local Tesco and I just don;t get it, I used to work in a job where we needed a lot of change and we hardly ever ran out, it's not like there's a shirtage of money in the country, they're just bein *******, so **** 'em and start so speakin to them in tongues and they'll give in

USA, Canada / US Polonia 70% for Kaczyński [343]

I dont agree with people living long-term outside their country havin a say in a country they don't live in anymore

Love / How to propose to Polish women? [17]

D something different and unusual, most polish lads I know did that stupid thing with the ring in the champagne and that's really boring and sad

you're supposed to ask permission for the Dad but ya dont really have to if you've been in a long term relationship.

also just to say, ,i'm not married and wont get married as at the moment the tax rate is better for me being single :P

UK, Ireland / Does Anyone Here Have a UK Bank Account ? [4]

so you wrote phoney reviews and they paid you?

Are they still hiring?

Love / I'm a black African man and can't cope with my Polish mother in law [34]


hahahahaha, brillaint

To OP, you could throw her out, or you could let her cook nice food and let her raise your kid and you'll have to do no work...i'd go for the 2nd option, i'm lazy though and would hate the pain of raising a sprog

Life / Why are the Italians and Polski so much alike? [90]


no way, Poland is the Mexico of Europe, cheap booze, sexy women and awesome weed

News / The chances for Warsaw to become capital of eventual Slavic confederation? [183]

Aren't the Slavic Union a group of neo-nazis?

youtube.com/watch?v=sYflGfcXtKY

A slavic Union would be quite useless, it'd be a bit like the Polish football league versus La Liga or The Bundesliga

UK, Ireland / Are the working class in the UK now shunned in the 'new' Poland? [53]


would you be proud if you're kid finished college and went onto an esteemed in pickin up people's rubbish, i think not squire

Life / To ex-pats living in Poland. Hanging around more with Poles or other expats? [20]


I agree with ya, most of my friends here are girls, and it's great and all but would be nice to talk about football and boobs with somebody.

Life / To ex-pats living in Poland. Hanging around more with Poles or other expats? [20]

I dont eat the swan meat though, I use the delicate neck feather to wipe my ass with.

Yes, I'm stealing your job because I know that you'd make a great English teacher especially with all the grammatical errors that you never seem to make, also you live in Engerland so STFU...

Also you fogot to mention that we're here stealing your women, but I think that's coz they prefer foreign men coz we dont treat them like cavewomen and expect them to clean and cook and produce babies all the time.

You seem like a really nice man by the way, I hope you enjoy your job washing dishes in some sh*thole in London

UK, Ireland / Irish Student Locating to Lodz - Can I bring Irish Car? [9]


Yea, that'd be the best thing to do lad

You can get a half decent car in poland for anything between 5000-8000
it's be old but it';ll get you from a to b and if you're only here for a small time it'll be sound.

you wont get insured on a right-hand drive in poland, you could get insured in ireland but you'll have to tell them you're goin be in poland and they'll prob charge ya a bomb.

If I were you I'd buy one here, check out prices on
go to allegro.pl and search for the model you want.
Do it in google chrome though, it'll translate it for you coz the site doesn't have an english version

Life / What are the things which cause culture shock in Poland? [164]

Too many ads on tv for medical stuff, waaaay too many
Not enough funny ads on the tv.

Beaurocracy
and the nasty ******* that work in govt buildings

Herrings, like, seriously who had the idea to pickle a fish, fish should be fresh :-)
Err...bigos, oh man, why?

polish beer is fantastic, so are polish sausages, actually all polish food is great with the exception of herring & bigos.

Polish people dont touch each other as much as in Ireland, prob same in britain, I mean things like clapping each other on the back or hitting someone's shoulder when they tell a joke etc. or a hug, y'know it's actually ok to hug a man.

Also Poles dont really give each other the finger, or the V, which'd be fairly common at home too.

The amount of stunning looking women you have here is unbelievable, I shoulda moved here years ago.

one thing I cannot get my head around is the formal language and not being able to swear in front of older people, for me that's like a submission by treating people differently just because they're older than me and it doesn't float my boat.

Oh and women aren't treated like sex objects here like the are in Ireland and britain, I like that.

too many people wear dark & boring clothes too, nothing wrong with a bit of colour boys and girls, also this thing of white socks with shorts that ***** just nasty looking, oh and why do I see men queueing outside a solarium, wtf is that all about :-P

Life / What are the things which cause culture shock in Poland? [164]


Naw, i dont really agree with ya there, you can respect someone and still swear around them.
If i wanna just say hi to my neighbour/local shopkeeper coz I've seen him everyday for the last year I wanna say Czesc and not Dzien Dobre and if I wanna complain about the weather to them I wanna say k*rwa pogoda y'know?

There's nothing wrong with swearing, it adds colour and flavour to the language


I've never seen that here, isn't that an Italian thing to do? But ok, I'll start using that :-P


Why would anybody do that? It's horrible isn't it? You see people at home doing that too and it makes people just look like proper dorks :-)

Life / What are the things which cause culture shock in Poland? [164]


haha, you know what i mean


sori, i didn't mean to cause offence :P


please put this guy on stage he's crackin me up! :-)


Cant wait to try this out on saturday night!

Life / What would YOU do to make life in poland better?? [72]


now, that's a bit unfair,
I love it and i know other ex-pats that have made a life here and would never dream of moving home

Better roads and public transport are needed and quickly, the Euros aren't far away.
The place could do with a lick of paint, there are far too many building in the country that have turned black from weather damage, if they were painted again or power washed it'd restore some pride especially in the industrial cities like Katowice, Lodz etc. There are many many beautiful building around but they look terrible because of the damage.

I believe that Poland should stay out of the euro zone too as it'll keep things cheaper and encourage exports and investment.

Topless beaches :-)
Banning Radio Maria
Better tv shows, waaaay too much american crap on tv, like CSI, House etc.

However saying all this I think that EU has realised the potential in Poland, a big country with massive amounts of natural resources and a hard-working workforce with a high level of education, i just hope that people continue to vote for the more economically liberal minded parties than the conservative ones. But y'know patience is needed and the politicians/bankers etc should be kept an eye on so that their greed doesn't get in the way of the country's prosperity, like it did in Ireland.

Life / What would YOU do to make life in poland better?? [72]


Would be better if they'd just play bingo or go to dances rather than be brainwashed by that gobshite, but yea you're right, they'll die off and then it'll hopefully disappear

History / What was the culture of Poland prior to the advent of Catholicism? [17]


sorry, that's germanic

Life / What would YOU do to make life in poland better?? [72]


Yea, I'm with ya there, smelly f*ckers on buses and trams is horrible and it's usually older people, don't they know that they smell?

introduce free soap

Life / What are the things which cause culture shock in Poland? [164]


it's called having new experiences :-)
you've never tried chinese, or indian, hungarian, mexican food?
really?
i dont belive you ;-P

i'm a big fan of polish food but i find that it's not very spicy, so it's good to have some indian from time to time or a good spicy pizza or some mexican, although i usually make my mexican coz the 2 mexicans where i live aren't awesome they're ok but not great.

Anyway to get away from cooking for a moment,
I'd say a few things in an earlier post.

Nazs Klasa was a culture shock for me, what a pile of crap, all it is is photos of people's kids or weddings or their trips to tasteless places like egypt!

Life / What are the things which cause culture shock in Poland? [164]


you have to pay to join naza klasa? :-P

Life / What would YOU do to make life in poland better?? [72]


I know, I couldn't believe it when we got a bill for water, I mean how can they legalise putting a cost on something that falls from the sky, weird, then again it I'm from a place where it can rain for up to 255 days in the year so it's only right that it should be free


err....*awkward silence*...emm no, only ones that demand respect instead of earning it, oh and the ultra-religious one :-)

UK, Ireland / Irish leaving Ireland again. Economy forcing them to immigrate [39]

yahoo, I'll have some paddy friends to go drinkin with & watch GAA and Eircom League in Katowice, oh no wait, the Irish pub here closed coz some clown ran it into the ground.

Maybe another will come and open one??

huh? huh? tempting,
it's not like other Polish cities, if you're a foreigner here you're exotic, it's mad, i'm a paddy yet i'm exotic, theres a feckin juxtaposition for yez

Life / What are the things which cause culture shock in Poland? [164]


Yea well my civilisation were building burial grounds that still survive to this day too...so what?

anyway, if you've actually been to Egypt then you'll know that it's a tacky dump, what amazes me even more is that in recent years the only people goin there are from central and eastern europe, everyone else has realised its a sh1thole.

anyway we're gettin off point here.

I've though of another one, the cheese here is pretty bad, 'cept for the one that you use in pierogi, that one is nice, but there's a real bad choice you can have rubber guada or plastic emmantal, where's the cheddar, or the blue cheese, if I'd a farm I'd be gettin my cheese on and selling it around poland coz the cheese in supermarkets sucks ass