Work / Advice to schools hiring native speakers [13]

So, you’ve hired a native speaker. The first thing you should do is offer them a drink as they will probably be thirsty after the journey. Usually tea will suffice but the more experienced teacher may expect something stronger. DO NOT give them alcohol as this will only encourage them to drink excessively and wave their arms about in class. Rest assured that the money you pay them will be spent on alcoholic beverages, but you hired them to teach; not to drink.

Not all native speakers behave in the same way, despite the fact that they all speak roughly the same language. A Canadian will be more accustomed to extremes of temperature than, say, a British NS, and if you have hired the latter make sure you always mention the weather by way of small-talk; it will be greatly appreciated and NS will be more than happy to inform you that, contrary to popular opinion, it doesn’t always rain in Britain.

Some native speakers take advantage of the fact that English enjoys lingua franca status in many parts of the world, which is, of course, the reason why they have a job in your country, so don’t be surprised if they don’t even bother to learn your language although most will make some attempt to learn the basics, mainly through politeness, or curiosity, or because they want to impress a member of the opposite sex. BEWARE: natives have been known to seduce students, secretaries, sometimes even directors, their foreign allure proving irresistible to some; but despite their indefinite articles and auxiliary verbs, native speakers don’t always make ideal partners and cannot guarantee lifelong happiness.

Most native speakers only stay in their host countries for a year, possibly two, and then move on. Others stay longer, either because they are in relationships or they have lost their passport, or they hold the mistaken belief that they actually have a career. NS will probably demand more money as a result, in which case you should safely return them to the nearest airport and give them a firm handshake. Reassure your native speakers whenever possible that they have a good life and are paid well above the national average; in most cases it is true but if they expect to be treated like rock stars then you should safely return them to the nearest airport and give them a firm handshake.

Lastly, it is important that NS be kept in a warm and safe environment when not working. Renting a small flat for them is a good idea and NS will expect it to have all modern conveniences such as toilet, fridge, and microwave oven. Flat screen TV’s and aquariums constitute luxury items and if NS demands such then please return them to the nearest airport.