UK, Ireland /
Living in England - the reality. I am now returning to Poland. [30]
OP, sorry to read of your experiences (I am a Briton).
Firstly, lawyers come in all shapes and sizes, and some are fair and some are expensive but whatever they charge there's always the few whose main interest and knowledge mainly centres around where the best places are to drink and the horsepower of some car or motorboat they want to buy. Not meaning to boast, but a friend's friend who is a lawyer once told me I could forget my claim against a large national co in the UK and I had "no chance". I then quoted the law to him, he looked a bit confused but repeated his doubts. 3 or 4 weeks later I had my money out of that company, every penny. And my friend's friend was no ordinary lawyer but a partner at a central London firm on true megaquid per hour. I kid you not.
I'm also surprised to hear about what sounds like difficulty selling your house or flat because we're told it's a sellers' market in the UK and buyers have to toe the line. In England, it's always been the case that a seller or buyer can withdraw at the last moment. It's a risk we've always had to live with (Scotland is different). Many buyers lose hundreds of pounds in surveyor and legal fees when a seller suddenly withdraws or sells to someone else for more. It happened to me once too. I lost GBP600. But you must have done very well if you bought a house or flat, so England was quite a lady for you really :)
Your English is really rather good, and I'm surprised you didn't go for a better job somewhere. As for references, few employers check them much or at all. That's one of the problems there, nobody really bothers. As a care assistant, you would have been CRB checked, and if that's clear then you would likely be able to find another job as a CA. Although, as commendable as caring roles are, they are not for everyone, and with very reasonable or rather good English I'd have been tempted to look to an office role if in your shoes.
If a reference for you is very questionable, it may go beyond what is called "fair comment", reasonable or privileged and yes it is actionable in law.
For the UK
gov.uk/work-reference
findlaw.co.uk/law/employment/employment_law_basics/getting_a_job/500307.html
For Ireland
hayes-solicitors.ie/news%5Cnews_11_2003_June_5.htm
I am surprised that E Sussex was as dud for you as it sounds. But you return to Poland the richer for it in many ways and are likely to prosper due to your improved English and world experience, if you're in a fairly good part of Polska! I hope all goes well!