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Posts by f stop  

Joined: 9 Dec 2009 / Female ♀ 		Last Post: 9 Oct 2015
Threads: Total: 24 / In This Archive: 21
Posts: Total: 2493 / In This Archive: 1879 		From: USA, dirty south
Speaks Polish?: tak
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Displayed posts: 1900 / page 22 of 64
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f stop   
14 Mar 2012
Food / Corned Beef in Krakow [7]

buy a beef brisket and stick it in salt water with some pickling spices for couple of days and you have corned beef.
f stop   
2 Mar 2012
Love / A Polish womans relationship with her mother in law. [44]

The Polish people usually deal with their own suffering by tormenting others

Bull. That's how they test your strength. You can cry uncle or take the reins from her. They'll only torment you if you choose to play the victim.
f stop   
21 Feb 2012
Love / My Polish wife got married to me but she's still not in love? [34]

Ultimately is does seem that whether or not a marriage will be a good one for the long term has less to do with romantic love than we generally believe. Far better indicators of future happiness are found in commitment to a common cause, acceptance of the other 'for better or worse', and having realistic expectations of what the marriage can achieve.

well said!
f stop   
20 Feb 2012
Love / Polish girls want to be dominated. Fact? [63]

Dominated? No.
But, they can be bossy, and like strong men that can handle that.
In your case though, I think you appeared to her to be totally self sufficient at first, and when you became somewhat dependent on her, on vulnerable, or whatever it was, she might have doubted her judgement and backed away.
f stop   
10 Feb 2012
Love / Living with a Polish man, but he has a drinking problem? [60]

of course he can stop. I know countless people that used to drink a lot, and got tired of feeling like sht next day.
Again, you have to let him know what you will not put up with, and stick to it.
Running, hiding is usually not necessary. All you have to do is make up your mind. Rest is easy.
f stop   
9 Feb 2012
Love / Living with a Polish man, but he has a drinking problem? [60]

He turned up at the house later drunk, blaming everyone but himself.

Ha! He did show up! You didn't have to go looking for him.. I'd venture further to say that he might not be that easy to get rid of. He'll soon realize he's made a mistake and re-double his efforts to get you back. Again, have it straight in your head what you will and will not put up with, and stick to your guns.
f stop   
8 Feb 2012
Love / Living with a Polish man, but he has a drinking problem? [60]

be ready - he'll be back.
By then, you have to have it straight in your mind what you will put up with and what you cannot.
Let him know, but make sure your bottom line is reasonable and that you can stick to it.
He'll probably appreciate your resolve and you will live happily ever after. ;)
In the meantime, do what's best for you.
f stop   
23 Jan 2012
Love / Child support in USA order (child born in Poland) [56]

she makes no effort for father/daughter relationship.

That's your job. The child might be in US. Wherever it is, the courts know. Petition to see the child. And if you don't want to see the child, money is the least you can contribute.
f stop   
20 Jan 2012
Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

Funny most men feel the exact same way.

Good! The point was that in a relationship without marriage, people tend to remain more autonomous.
f stop   
19 Jan 2012
Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

F-Stop just because you live with someone without a formal marriage contract doesn't mean that you can't be sued for alimony after dissolving your relationship

it is much more prevalent in marriage that a wife assumes she will be "taken care of", and then feels wronged when the relationship is over.
f stop   
19 Jan 2012
Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

Seriously, Polonius, it looks like your wife "works" on your marriage than you do. LOL
The biggest argument against the insitution of marriage is the divorce. People separate for variety of reasons: they fall in love with somebody else, they become strong enough to be able to get away from abusive relationships or or mental illness.

All of my life I've been in long term relationships, and when they ended, they both ended with us drifting apart, spending less and less time together, and ending up as old friends that still care about each other. We both took it as far as it could be taken, and after that, there was no doubt that one, or both, could not continue. There was no "divorce', lawyers, manipulations, fights over money, hate and tragedy.

Simple fact that that piece of paper is required, is an admission that all relationships do not last forever.

Teaching a child to run away from thier responcibilities is not good parenting. Teaching your child self sacrifice, compromise, and love is the answer.

whenever you hear someone say something like that you can bet your bottom dollar that their partner is doing the real sacrificing and the child knows it. Or, they're not in a relationship at all!
f stop   
19 Jan 2012
Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

This is where we will never see eye to eye. For me the signing of the "paper" was the most insignificant part of my marriage. It means nothing.

then why sign it? Why make a meaningless standard by which others are measured?

It's easy to say we've become more selfish, but that's just a shallow judgement.
Nowadays, it doesn't take two people to keep family from starving. We don't have to spend an hour each day baking bread. Women can take care of the family and work now, and men found way to share the housework. The relationships are evolving quickly, and the institution has never kept up very well. Marriage is, after all, a church's invention. It's easy to point out the downsides of our fast paced lives, but you also have to remember how much more we can accomplish and all the different things we get to experience in our lifetimes now.

But, all that has nothing to do with social pressure to register one's relationship. It creates endless hardships, and the only ones that benefit are lawyers.

I repeat again, if you or your partner have to sign that paper, one of you is either lacking faith in the relationship or already not committed enough

Oh, and a note on working on the marriage. It's same as working on the relationship, trust me.
f stop   
18 Jan 2012
Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

I believe just the opposite. I think it's the people that need to sign a legal paper are the ones that do not have faith in their commitment, or in their partners' commitment.

Moreover, they do not trust their own instincts and have a need to mold their lives into pre-determined patterns.
Every relationship between two people is completely different, and most of the people out there that are unhappy, are so because they believe they do not fit or desperately trying to fit.

What we're supposed to look like, how we're supposed to live, who we supposed to like... it's a bunch of garbage.
f stop   
17 Jan 2012
Love / Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology [310]

If you read all of my posts you might have a better understanding of how I feel about marriage.

what you're talking about is healthy relationship, good parenting. It's a shame you're convinced that you have to "register" first. It's amazing how many people are brainwashed about what marriage is.
f stop   
17 Jan 2012
Love / Problem with a brutal American guy (now I live in Poland) [88]

lotsofessays.com/viewpaper/1710378.html

good grief, woman. This is where you get your Polish/Jewish history from? School essays for sale?
I'm beginning to think that you harass him more than he harasses you.