Looking for outsiders opinions - I met a girl online...

hi. i'm looking for some outsiders opinions on something. about 6 months ago, i met this girl online on a german webcam site. we really connected and got very close. she told me she was from norway but lived in germany. since things were going so well, i made plans to fly there and visit her on my vacation in may. 3 days before my flight, she emailed me that she will not be in germany that week, she has to fly to norway and does not know when she will be back...end of email. i went there anyway because i thought she said this because she was scared or nervous or whatever. when i got there i found the address was not hers, it didn't even exist. i spent the whole week there alone. i was able to chat with her online on the camsite (which i pay for by the way, she wont install yahoo, gives different reasons why), and she told me some things like she is from poland and didn't tell me that because she thought americans don't like polish people and was scared.....and that her mother is involved in some illegal business so they had to leave germany very fast. i can tell she cares for me in what she says and how she looks at me and everytime i have asked her she has said she does not have a boyfriend, but she does these things where she doesn't contact me for a week at a time sometimes and then when she does, says things like she had no internet at that time. she has told me before that she has to make major changes in her life to meet me. there are so many thngs i dont understand and i was wondering if anyone knows anything about these girls on these sites and if what she tells me could be true and something is keeping us apart and she is just being private about it and will meet me someday. she is everything to me.

I don't think that's true; Americans in general like Polish people.


Well, it sounds she is just trying to trick you. I wouldn't believe her (I doubt she's even Polish - did you ask her about her first name at least?). It seems you have fallen in love with her, but you need to realize it's probably her job to make you "feel good and needed" as long as it's possible (especially that you pay for it -- the longer she keeps you uncertain, the more money they make). More over, I wouldn't be surprised she was not the same person you saw online.

I would write her that you'd really love to meet her in person; but if she cannot, there's nothing you could do and you will stop any contact with her since you don't want to invest your feelings in something that may have never had a chance to realize in the "offline" world. If she doesn't write you back or still tries to provide ambiguous answers it means she doesn't care about you and it's better for you because you will know it in advance and can involve with a girl who will truly appreciate you.

thank you for the reply and you make valid points. but what did you mean by "i wouldn't be surprised she was not the same person you saw online" i can see her on the webcam when i chat with her. and know i her name from the emails.

I meant that nowadays it's not that difficult to do "magic tricks" online (eg. you see one person, hear another, and read yet another). But in your case - if you saw her mimic right after she read your words/phrases and think these were true - it's most likely she was the same person. But again - it's her job to keep each and every *paying* client feel good...

You can read about some dating scam

data-wales.co.uk/nigerian_chat.htm

this is what is so confusing. i have asked her times before, when i was suspicious, to let me go and move on with my life if she has no intention of being with me. but she doesn't tell me that. she says she doesn't need my money and does not make me come to her chatroom.

I would write her this: "I already showed you I put my money where my mouth is (I flew to Norway just to meet you even though I was unsure about your feelings) so you know my feelings towards you. You also know my email and if you feel you could do the same for me let me know. In the meantime, I have to go on with my life so please think hard about it and do not bother me unless you are confident about your feelings."

Otherwise, it may last forever and in the meantime you're going to lose other opportunities to meet a girl who is sure about her feelings. You need to stop it now or end up in endless loop that doesn't lead to anything good.

A word of advice,, pack your bags and go to poland for a couple of weeks, it may cost a few thousand dollars, but it will be worth it...........you may met somebody very nice?

Get away from this chick as fast as you can!!! It is hard enough to be in a good relationship with a real person whom you can see on a regular basis and build trust with, muchless someone who has already deceived you! Don't cause yourself anymore stress or heartache and forget her.

mate tell her to get lost.she is a lier

this is really old post.. dont think hes even worried about it now :)

don't trust her, she's just playing....you are wasting your time....

i agree with Ingrid. i do not know if my personal story will help you to decide what to do next but i think it will be good you read it. i met him on internet and i was not keen to start long distance relationship. But we started it and he came to visit me , all was great and we decided it would be good to go to visit him and know his country (Poland) i went there and took a leave from my work. i mean it was not adventure it was to be serious because it to be so. Now i am back to my country since some weeks and he just told me while we were talking that we should be friends and that living together in his country is not possible. he was the one who talked about future first. Now i am left here, deceived and devasted with the question"why"...... just think well before u do anything. i am not saying that u should not go further. Poland is for me the perfect country to live ( may be because he lived there) despite what i feel i do nto have regrets. if i could turn back time, i would do it once more the same. Thank u for listening to my sharing. Good luck and always think taht u deserve the best in life.

well orm rading these posts i know its old but my opinion would be too go. she gave u enough hints and made enough excuses for u to make ur exit .maybe she just gets her kicks on line but its obvious she is stringing u along.

Shes got a secret and she aint telling, move on mate before it gets too deep.

so I guess Alana is not gonna to get marry anymore is that so ?

move on, I would not waste my time if she aint telling

Give this one a wide berth usa. I read something similar to this (on here I think) not that long ago. I'm pretty sure its a scam she's involved in - so be careful!

Nuff said.

Here's a suggestion.............run, run for the hills and don't look back.

Being good hearted and concerned for her will only get you in trouble. I will not even bother to try and understand what her problems are. This can only give YOU unbelievable problems and stress.

BTW how old are you?

this lady appears to be stringing you along...run as fast as you can. believe me, a woman that is interested does not act how she does.... sounds as though she is telling you a few lies...try to move on with a 'real' woman who will treat you properly

good one on diggin up this thread that was dead for 1 year :P

I just realised the date on it. Who dug it up?

I still read this similar story elsewhere and I don't think it was here. Besides, seeing the date - the one I read was more recent. Definitely a scam though!

Me too