...thing is she's not looking for a relationship. I got to know her through working with her, and i asked her out on a date, to which she agreed. Tuesday night i see her out and she blew out every other guy who tried it on with her, and danced with me only. A few kisses later, i'm quite a happy guy.
Now this morning, i get a text from her saying she enjoyed the other night, but she doesn't want to go on a date with me. I ask why. She says she's going back to Poland in two months, and that she isn't after a relationship. She also say my age bothers her, (I'm 20, she's 25) and she doesn't want to hurt me. But then she's warning me, saying she wants to use me because i'm sexy.
Now i know this may sound like an open and shut case, but i can't help but feel gutted about her wanting to date me, then deciding against it. I know she likes me a lot as well. I feel it could work, but then again i don't know what mindset Polish women have.
Any advice is appreciated, as i'm seeing her tonight.
she, s using u for an intimate relationship, u are a lot younger than her also, and there,s no future as she is returning to poland, from wat i see she has been very up front with u as to how she feels and its up to u to decide now wat u want to do. i say enjoy it while it lasts which is only 8 weeks
Tonight should be the final time before you make a decision, i have read all of what you wrote and i can see that you obviously like you and that she kind of likes you but is either not willing to commit or just doesn't want to commit to a relationship.
The best thing to do is be honest with her tonight when you actually get round to talking about the important stuff. 'What happens next' lay the cards on the table and say 'this is what i'm looking for and so on and so on' then sit back and listen to her reply. If she is willing to comply or go along with what you want then bingo you win first prize, however if she doesn't want to lean the same way as you then its time to move on with your life, there are plenty of other nice ladies out there who i'm sure will be queing up for you if you 'sexy'
I'm sure you know and understand as you sound like a down to earth guy, you can't force the situation into something you want, even if she went along with it at first eventually if she was unhappy it would all fall apart. Its better to bite the bullet early on than later. Believe me its better to swallow the sour lemon flavoured drink now than the hydrocloric acid when things go tits up.
Good luck tonight mate i wish you all the best :)
i would be interested to hear the outcome, either positive or negative
Cheers for the replies. I'm not known to have feelings for girls around here, mainly because they're loud, obnoxious fools.
This girl isn't like that. I agree with the 'nip it in the bud' sentiment, and as you say it's crunch time tonight. Wether to part ways (difficult as i work with her) or be used, which while nice, is basically a con. I think i know the outcome won't be in my favour, but i will update on the situation tomorrow.
But then she's warning me, saying she wants to use me because i'm sexy.
This doesn't sound like a Polish woman mindset thing. It's just a woman mindset thing. She's attracted to you and she wants to be with you but not in a serious relationship. If you let her, she will use you and then leave you in 2 months, maybe before that if she gets bored of you. Is that what you want? At least she warned you. Some men never get that warning.
When she says she wants to use you I am not quite sure what she means by that. But it sounds to me that it is not good for you and you should steer clear of her.
Well if it is the natural reaction is go for it. But I have been in a situation where the only time this particular woman wanted to see me was for sex. It is great to start with then you very quickly feel used especially when she once said to me you can go now after we had had sex. The last time she sent me text asking me to go to her house I did not reply. I do not think Reece is okay with being used.
I agree with you Jambo that men have feelings too and that the novelty wears off.. but he is 20 years old and is being offered sex on a plate with a sexy older woman who is leaving the country in a couple of months... I think most young guys would find that perfect... just my opinion of course ;)
Well then Reece know,s the score. if he doesnt want to be used he,l have to fight his feelings and tell her to go.
She told him straight out what she wants him for so he,s got no one to blame only himself. She could have played him around , not said anything, used him and broke his heart. but she has been blatenly honest so if he gets hurt its no one,s fault only his own. harsh words i know but it looks plain black and white here to me.
He,s just living a fantasy that if he gives her what she,s looking for then she will fall for him and live happily ever after. only problem is this is no fairytale!!!!!!!!
I agree with you Jambo that men have feelings too and that the novelty wears off.. but he is 20 years old and is being offered sex on a plate with a sexy older woman who is leaving the country in a couple of months... I think most young guys would find that perfect... just my opinion of course ;)
By now you will know where you stand. She has been honest with you and has told you that she is going back to Poland and therefore wants no long term relationship. You must respect that. You may find that she has a relationship back home in Poland and she is returning to him. It is quite rare for a girl in Poland to be twenty five and not be in a relationship of some sort. (Sorry, maybe I am a little old fashioned but it was always the case). Polish women are always very fickle and like to lead men on. I can not understand why. Maybe they are simply bored in Poland but they love to arrange meetings, which they never intend to keep. I have experienced them at first hand and never believe a word they say. I find it very unpleasant and can not understand why they do it. Many years ago, I was a guest in Gorzow Wielkopolski and a pair came to the flat where I was staying. "oh, I know a lovely new pizzeria in town and I will come along tomorrow evening at say 8.00p.m. and I will take you there" promised this Polish girl. Sure enough, nobody turned up, as I expected. The next evening or the one after that again they turned up at the flat and my first question was "and what happened to that night out I was promised to this new pizzeria?" "Oh," she replied, "to tell you the truth, there are no nice pizzerias in Gorzow"! The question is of course, why would a silly little Polish girl invite me to a none existent new pizzeria? It is something that can only and does happen in a silly country like Poland!
I agree with you Jambo that men have feelings too and that the novelty wears off.. but he is 20 years old and is being offered sex on a plate with a sexy older woman who is leaving the country in a couple of months... I think most young guys would find that perfect... just my opinion of course ;)
Seems like a good idea, but infact it can end up as a painful disaster.
Michal was bang on the money i feel. Last Tuesday and Thursday i met up with her, and Thursday night took her home. Thoroughly enjoyed it, and found the reason she wouldn't consider a date is because she does indeed have a boyfriend back in Poland.
So that made me feel better about the situation. Sad thing is i've tried to get in contact with her since seeing her Saturday night at work, and she seems to be avoiding it. More annoyed than distraught, a little common courtesy and i'd be ok. Here's a pic of her.
