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Men attitude towards women in the Polish culture

19 Oct 2007 /  #61
Hello - I am curious to know on average what the Polish man's response is if a woman that you know professionally and respect tells you that she's interested in you at a personal level.

I have a Polish associate that I have a general knowing of - like his character and his integrity. Outside of that, I really don't know much about him. I'd like to get to know him better. We have an ocean between us - he's in Poland and I'm in the US. So normal in person conversation and flirting isn't an option. All I have is IM with him usually and in the past couple months I've gotten more friendly conversations and winks. Don't want to be the bold American woman though that offends him by telling him I like him.

Polish men tell me the truth should I just sit back and wait or say something?
z_darius 14 | 3,968  
19 Oct 2007 /  #62
I guess you might want to start with learning about his personal situation. Is he married? Involved? I think that would be gentle enough, and yet revealing to him. Just like you don't want to come across as "the bold American woman", he might be afraid to be perceived as "the bold Polish man".

Oh, and you may want to keep in mind a Polish saying. It deals with a family situation but can be applied outside it: a man is the head of the household, the woman is the neck that controls the head. Try the trick, see where it leads you.

Good luck.
acorn1984 - | 1  
21 Oct 2007 /  #63
Polish guys keep you on your feet. They will say something to grab your attention then you have to figure the rest out.

Wow!! Talk about hitting the nail on the head!! I've been going out with a polish guy for the past few months and that pretty much sums it up! Must write that down - thanks!
21 Oct 2007 /  #64
Quoting: krysia
Polish guys keep you on your feet. They will say something to grab your attention then you have to figure the rest out

This could explain my situation too!!! My Polish guy still has yet to tell me how he feels (although a girl can tell), but over lunch in a restaurant the other day - we were discussing the food and suddenly he said 'what do you feel about second marriages'? Talk about out of the blue!!! (I have been married before). I gave him my answer, he gave me a smile and we went back to discussing the food!!!!
21 Oct 2007 /  #65
I'm glad to hear I'm not alone on this one!!!

He's not married. Said he's going out with someone but nothing serious. He has told me that he is looking for his true love. He's told me he likes me for who I am. Opens doors for me and is very attentive, but yet very aloof on the other hand. He did kiss me one night but we were both drunk (and it has never been acknowledged by either of us) - so I don't know if it was truth or alcohol talking. He's not a wild and crazy guy.

So thanks for the feedback - I'm getting a better feeling for where to head.
pamlarouge 3 | 56  
27 Oct 2007 /  #66
Wow. I'm so glad I stumbled on this post!!! My Polish boyfriend and I have been dating for three months, and we both come from a religious background where dating is taken very seriously and treated exclusively as a preparation for marriage (read: you don't date someone unless you genuinely think you could marry them). He recently went home to Poland after spending 5 months in the States...we've discussed marriage in great detail (I know, I know, it's only been 3 months, but sometimes you just know, and neither of us are the type to be unsure about this kind of thing, we definitely know our own minds) in the past, and we've (briefly) looked at rings online-he initiated all of these things. So, obvs it's very serious, but I won't be able move to Lodz until next year and he's still got 3 more years before he finishes his Master's degree so we often joke that we're not gonna get married for another 5 years. I have a point, I promise, he COMPLETELY surprised me though the other day when were talking on the middle of a conversation about something else, he says, "You know, I've decided when I'm going to propose to you and how I'm going to do it." (sigh) Almost fell out of my chair over that. This comment comes after a comment made the night before "It (engagement) is gonna happen soon, and I think it's much sooner than you think." It was a very frank thing to say, and I've encountered so many American men who run away screaming if you so much as mention the word marriage. I've been in intercultural relationships before, but this has been a truly unique and joyous experience. I find him slightly jealous and possessive at times, but mostly I find it cute and he rarely shows it. I did find that he got irritated at me for talking to one of his close friends in a way that I found completely appropriate and normal (and keep in mind that I'm usually one to get jealous so I'm very careful myself), not overly-friendly or showing displaced interest, but that he found a little bit upsetting. I found the incident very puzzling, and he later admitted (this happened on two different occasions, he was drinking at both) that perhaps he overreacted. I'm a lot less puzzled after reading this post and finding that Polish men might be more possessive than American men. Thanks for the input!!! Any other Americans out there in a long-distance relationship with a Pole?
z_darius 14 | 3,968  
27 Oct 2007 /  #67
what polish society is like- in terms of relationships and roles between men and women

First I need some background info about you.
What is the highest grade of biology you took? ;)
Liza 3 | 111  
28 Oct 2007 /  #68
Its nice to read about others dating Polish men... I've been with my boyfriend for nearly two years, and the first reaction I got when I met him and people asked after my new man was 'He's Polish???" complete with uncomfortable silence. While the guys I know in London love Polish girls (always so gorgeous - they give me a complex!), I sometimes feel like I'm the only non-Pole dating a Polish man!
pamlarouge 3 | 56  
28 Oct 2007 /  #69
Liza, I know what you mean about getting the "he's from where?" from people after telling them you're dating someone from Poland. Although, I have something of a reputation for dating foreigners with my friends and family so they weren't all that surprised... :)
ebdpp - | 12  
30 Oct 2007 /  #70

What a topic!!!!. I see I'm not the only one. I met a Pole a month ago or so. since the day I met him, he always had a nice compliment for me. He ask me to go out and we did.

That day, we were talking about something, I don't remember what; and all of the sudden , while I was talking he said "I really like your eyes", I felt embarrased maybe because It's been a long time since the last time I dated someone and it's been also a while nobody tells me a compliment; it's been just a year since I got divorced from my previous partner and it's actually the first time I date someone after that.

I honestly don't know what to expect, but I noticed he likes to be toooo nice to women; I don't want to seem like I'm possesive, but after a divorce...... I don't know what to expect, I don't know if it's just the way Poles are or it's him, that wants to show his "Don Juan men side" to every women.
krysia 23 | 3,058  
30 Oct 2007 /  #71
Some guys, as well as women, like to get noticed by the opposite sex, it gives them encouragement and boosts up the ego. If you really like this guy you will either have to get used to this or have a talk with him so he understands that it bothers you.

It's not just Polish guys. It's just humans
30 Oct 2007 /  #72
that wants to show his "Don Juan men side" to every women.

nothing to do with nationality, but personality. If it bothers you, then it is up to you.
30 Oct 2007 /  #73
nothing to do with nationality, but personality

very true....
i still think that American men complement women more often then Polish men...

but.... nationality has nothing to do with that....
30 Oct 2007 /  #74
you just contradicted yourself PG;), ha, ha........

I noticed he likes to be toooo nice to women

that could be an indication that he is not really interest in you....sorry....
30 Oct 2007 /  #75
you just contradicted yourself PG;), ha, ha.........

lol...i know... but i know it's not about personality but well... ;)
ebdpp - | 12  
31 Oct 2007 /  #76
I don't know what to think about this Pole guy. For some reason, I feel he is so sex oriented, whatever I said he turns it into a sexual thing; Come on!, we've been out just once and everything I say he turns it into a sexual comment. And then all of the sudden he has a kind of nice cute compliment. I just don't get what he really wants sex or sweetness.

Also I want to ask something else: Don't Polish people like Jewish? , I don't find that nice at all, but he said aaaaaall Polish still having a kind of conflict with Jewish, come on! , we are in 2007!!!!, and ultimately, shouldn't it be the opposite?
pamlarouge 3 | 56  
31 Oct 2007 /  #77
I find that my Polish boyfriend is much more openly complimentary than my others have been. And he never goes through a door before me, it's always ladies first. He's also very tentative to what I need in all areas of the relationship, which I find very refreshing-my relationships have not been like this in the past! I found that he and his brother are generally very polite and nice, more so than American men I've dated. However, I agree that this may not have everything to do with his cultural background. I'm sure there are Polish guys out there who are jerks (just like American ones!)...I haven't met enough to make a general conclusion on whether they are naughty/nice because of culture, individual upbringing, or both. However, I will say that I often find that European men are much more attracted to a woman with a strong personality than guys from the Southern United States (or Northern U.S. for that matter). :)

I noticed he likes to be toooo nice to women

Oooh, I don't know about you but I have very little tolerance for this. If you don't like that now, I wouldn't expect him to change. My mom always told me that you date someone to find out what you don't like about them-it's so true because you have to see their faults, and then decide if you are okay with them or not. If you're not okay with that now (and you shouldn't need to be), then be careful!
ebdpp - | 12  
31 Oct 2007 /  #78
You have very little tolerance for this, well I have none!!!!. I agree, you are right, it's more about personality than a cultural thing.

I'll see how things go, we've just started dating anyways.
3 Nov 2007 /  #79
i'm from Thailand.i got a Polish boyfriend.He was a medical student and came to England for shorft time work as a health care assistant ..i thought he was perfect but after i have to pay for him for everything ,rent, food,laptop even english text book or running shoe!!!! i'm not sure i should be with him.his Parent lives in Zamose and they are lovely no problem with cross culture but the queation is............ well he is soon be a doctor he will get a job but will he still let me pay for everything he want me to send him a perfume from thailand pen drive 2 gig and so on...we

plan to married soon!!!!!!!!!!!
ebdpp - | 12  
14 Nov 2007 /  #80
There is no way you should keep doing that any longer!!!!. Paying even for his laptop!!!!.

I started dating a Polish guy not long ago, we've been out 3 or 4 times; he pays for everything when we go out. He is also a doctor back in Poland but unfortunately here in Canada he's trying to get into the field. I would never do what you are doing, to me sounds like he is using you.
Polka - | 21  
30 Nov 2007 /  #81
said aaaaaall Polish still having a kind of conflict with Jewish

Polish people are anti-semetic way less than before you are right- and even then before I wouldnt say it was very common ( i lived in Poland growing up)
poland08 - | 4  
10 Jan 2008 /  #82
So I'm getting ready to meet my great Polish guy and he tells me that I will also meet his brother while on my visit to him. I don't know enough about Polish culture to know if that means he's looking for approval from his brother or is just comfortable enough with the "relationship/friendship" we are building that he would actually introduce me to them - some insight of the culture aspects of introducing prospective romantic interests to family members.... don't know if I should be nervous or happy.

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