Mate i know how you are feeling! its very frustrating not knowing the reasons behingd a broken heart. trust me i know. i think you been in contact with her makes things that bit harder. especially when all you want is the comfort of being close to her. I reckon (and this is only my opinion) is to stop all contact for few days just to see if she makes contact with you and if she does then i reckon that she still has feelings for you. however if she does make contact still try your bestmy friend to leave her hanging a bit. just to see her reaction. from my experience she will realize that you may be drifting and then she may want to hear fromyou or see you a lot more.
hang in there ime is the greatest healer no matter what. Keep you head up hingh and i promise the future will lokk brighter
Hey i will keep in mind all the comments i've received here,its always great to hear other peoples opinions.........actually had a shock today,she called me!!!!Only the second time ever....i was happy but im still keeping my distance,etc........funny thing is i got a text from O2(mobile phone company)yesterday offering me 10% of my top-ups back for the last 3 months..............they gave me 36 pounds credit.........well its was worth 360 pounds to hear her voice:)
Thank you everyone,im trying to distance myself from her,although i still jump to my phone everytime i get a text:)im flying to Ireland tomorrow,the next step of trying to conquer my fear of flying,actually i'll try and take a picture when im on the plane and post it here.......thats if it doesn't crash:)
HELLO FRIENDS...I AM AN INDIAN AND FROM INDIA ORIGINALLY BUT LIVE NOW IN UK. I AM IN LOVE WITH A POLISH WOMEN WHO WORKS WITH ME AT WORK. I TOLD HER FEW MONTHS AGO THAT I LOVE HER AND SHE AFTER FEW MONTHS TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVE ME TOO WHEN I KEPT ASKING HER THAT DO SHE LOVE ME OR NOT??
SINCE FEW DAYS I FEEL THAT SHE LOVES OTHER GUY WHO ALSO WORKS AT THE SAME PLACE WHERE I WORK. I SEE HER PLAYING WITH HIM AND SMILING AT HIM. I FEEL AS SHE LOVES HIM AND NOT ME..... I FEEL HURTED AND UPSET WHEN I SEE HER DOING LIKE THIS WITH THAT GUY AT WORK.... I FEEL SHE LOVES HIM.
I FEEL JEALOUS THINKING THAT IF SHE LOVES HIM...THEN ? WHAT ABOUT ME? WHO AM I FOR HER? I AM HURTED EVERYDAY EVERY SECOND WHEN I SEE HER AND THAT GUY DOING LIKE THIS .... I THINK SHE DOESNT LOVE ME.... PLEASE ANYBODY REPLY TO MY MESSAGE. I WILL HIGHLY APPRECIATE ANY HELP OR SOULTION FROM YOU FRIENDS. THANK YOU.
I feel you are too insecure. you seek to be told your loved rather than just felt loved. You want her to have eyes only for you and have no fun or smiles with other people (espiecally men). This leads to controlling and this is bad.
You are becoming paranoid and jealous. This would drive you crazy and drive her away. (becoming a self fullfilling prophecy) If you think she doesn't love you, you cannot force her to love you. You cannot 'pester' her to say she loves you. If you REALLY loved her, you wouldnt be so self centred about it and would love the fact she is able to have fun. she would appreciate this more.
The solutions include, lightening up the reigns of control. Stop being paranoid and pestering her about her every movement. She may not love you and she may leave - but the way you are behaving will speed that up! No women likes to be controlled by paranoia! (some women like bad boys but all hate whiners!) - (men hate women who whine too ladies :) - less its ahem, nuff said)
i am paul ,i met a girl lol she was called magda aswell well she was working at where i work in uk varfell farm ,we got to know eachother and like eachother thru being around eachother and talking about ,are families,food , cultures ,pets ,it was the only true time i have ever felt this deeply in love with someone ,i was worrying thinking maybe she felt the same but was afraid to say she did ,so i plucked up the courage and told her how i feel about her ,and how much i cared for her and loved her and how she was the only girl in the world i wanted ,i would do anything for her ,marrry her even move to poland for her from uk ,i just wanted to be with her and i would have give or done anything to be with her ,she said back to me paul i dont want to hurt you or you get mad at me ,but i had a boyfriend all along and never told you about him ,i liked you and was afraid you wouldn't want to go out with me or spend time with me if you knew i had a boyfriend ,i am half polish so her excuse of us being from different cultures aswell and different backgrounds isn't a another good excuse is it .
HELLO DAFFY...THANKS FOR THE HELP. I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT. I WILL STOP BEING PARANOID WITH HER. I HOPE YOU ARE RIGHT. BY THE WAY THANKS. BUT I DONT KNOW WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS....??? ANY WAYS..WHAT ELSE CAN BE DONE APART FROM IT. I WONT TELL HER ANYTHING BECAUSE AS YOU SAID SHE WILL LEAVE ME AND I DONT WANT LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN.... I WONT BE PARANOID WITH HER... I WILL FIRST OF ALL STOP THINKING THAT.... I WONT ALSO FORCE HER THAT SHE MUST ALSO LOVE ME. I KNOW YOU ARE RIGHT. I DONT WANT TO CONTROL HER. ACTUALLY ITS BECAUSE I AM FROM AN INDIAN CULTURE SO I WAS THINKING LIKE THIS BUT I FORGOT THAT HER CULTURE IS DIFFERENT AND SO I CANNOT FORCE HER... YOU ARE RIGHT MY FRIEND.THANKS. GOD BLESS YOU. I WONT COME IN HER WAY...ITS HER LIFE AND SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO LIVE HER LIFE. THANKS.
I am very touched to hear your story. I am sorry that there are brutal things keep happening but also it is less of a suffer knowing that with some people we share the same problems. When I read your story I thought "here we are again...".
I had to face exactly the same situation 2 years ago. The polish girl, while I was studying in England and she was in Poland started to alienate herself from me, become more impersonal and finally leading the relationship to a point where I had to bring over the brake up myself since she had lost any interest even for that. Of course the more distant she was becoming the more attached I felt like being which made it even worse. Some moments I couldn’t breath. For some reasons it was very serious.
I had also the same fear of plains like you do. For this reason I have crossed Europe by trains quite a few times. But for this relationship I entered the plane more than 10 times in 2 years. But overcoming my fear was only to my own benefit.
It took me about one year and a half to overcome that girl. With her I had passed some of the most happy moments of my life so far. When tears drained and my tanks of sorrow became empty I realized that all this relationship was a personal mistake for which I have to take full credit. When someone does not fight on your side, but rather against you the only reason to keep up is just an irrational self destructive feeling. She didn’t help not only while in the relationship but also while overcoming her.
When I was starting feeling better and more autonomous she would ring me( and all my world would blow up like a firework) and keep in touch for as long as it would be necessary for me to feel warm again, and then again disappear. She continued even when I returned to my country, until she finally found a boyfriend and then disappeared for good. This act is the strongest sign that this person does not care about my being well the same way I did. Now, I destroyed all bridges of communication and I hope I never hear from her again, not because I would not be strong enough to fight it inside me, but because she does not worth me. Life now is far more beautiful without her image in my thoughts.
My dear Griff, I told you this story in order for you to know that there are others like you, even from another country that can understand your grief, which I promise is going to pass. I can write pages over pages on that story but probably it is not necessary since the past is half as important as present and future put together.
Be well and if you happen to pass by from Greece, the drinks are on me.
HELLO FRIENDS...I FEEL SHE IS PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS? SHE BEHAVES AS IF SHE DOESNT KNOW ANYTHING ? WHY IS THIS ?I TOLD HER 2 WEEKS AGO THAT SHE WILL FORGET ME WHEN I LEAVE THE WORK AND GO TO LEICESTER... SHE REPLIED SHE WONT FORGET ME BUT I THINK THE WAY SHE IS BEHAVING WITH ME SO I FEEL SHE WILL FORGET ME... PLEASE ANYBODY REPLY MY MESSAGE.THANK YOU. I WILL HIGHLY APPRECIATE YOUR REPLIES.
Just dont come infront of her... block her from your IM's (if she is there) and in your email. Dont let her the chance of being 'just Friends' with you :).
Only way you let open...in your cell phone :). Only if she says she must meet you, and only if you sense she is just desperate to meet you ... only then meet her. Otherwise... dont mess around too much on phone... only talk longer when you feel SHE is really suffering without you!
Keep your respect alive. It will be painful... but then... after a long time, you will realize that this advise helped you in saving alot of more pain and depression! (In my humble view).
Before leaving ... give her a blank card... with only ONE flower bud (not an entire flower or more buds).
That is the best I can say to you.
Good luck... :)
And if she never bothers....then be sure... you got saved....
HELLO LONE STRANGER...THANKS FOR UR REPLY. BUT FRIEND WE WORK TOGETHER AND SHE DOESNT HAVE COMPUTER AT HER HOME SO I USUALLY TEXT HER AND SHE ALSO. I THINK SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVES ME JUST BECAUSE SHE WANTED ME TO BE HAPPY AND NOT SAD BECAUSE IF SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE DOESNT LOVE ME THEN I WOULD BE SAD....THATS WHAT I THINK.... WHATS UR OPINION FRIENDS...REPLY WILL BE APPRECIATED.THANK YOU.....I THINK SHE IS PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS....
And ... if there is the slightest chance of a union ... ask her straight for marriage! Then all will become clear! ... if she sees a life in you... then there will be a yes... otherwise ... you get your answer.
You will eventually do whatever your mind says... no use wasting time.
HELLO FRIEND.... ONCE 2 WEEKS AGO SHE TOLD ME THAT MARRY ME ....BUT SHE HAS A BOY FRIEND AND A CHILD FRIEND...AND HOW CAN IT BE POSSIBLE...? I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO? PLEASE GIVE ME SOME SOLUTIONS FRIEND....
Boyfriend? ... and still you are with her... and she also wanna marry you! ...
There is confusion friend. All of a sudden (if what you are saying is correct, that she wanna marry you) she is looking the sincere person... and you the maniac!
Listen... if you love her... have the family... or just spare her life!
HELLO FRIEND ...I AM NOT DISTRUBED BY THIS THAT SHE HAS A CHILD AND A BOY FRIEND BECAUSE I LOVE HER AND I CAN BE HER CHILD FATHER ALSO FOR IT.... BUT MY FRIEND I DONT KNOW WHY I FEEL LIKE THIS AS SHE IS TRYING TO FORGET ME AS I AM GOING TO LEAVE THIS PLACE AND GO TO LIECESTER....REPLY PLEASE.
HELLO FRIEND..I LOVE HER MORE THAN MY LIFE... BUT MY PARENTS WONT ALLOW ME TO DO THIS...YOU KNW I AM AN INDIAN AND SHE POLISH....HOW WILL MY PARENTS AGREE TO THIS? ANY SOULTUONS? PLEASE DO REPLY ME FRIEND.TAHNK YOU.
HELLO LONE STARNGER..MAY I KNOW YOUR NAME? YOU FROM WHERE FRIEND?
Talk with them. Explain them. If they have a valid reason to give a 'No', explain with valid reasons that why you think it is 'Ok' to marry her. If you love is true, and you are confident... then it will work out just fine.
If you parents have no valid reason... and it is out of racism :) ... then you should go ahead and marry her (because your parents are wrong then).
If you cannot stand with the Love and truth... you actually never loved then. It is not she, it is you who played with her. So accepting this, depart from her life. This is the next best thing you can do for her.
MAY I KNOW YOUR NAME?
LoneStranger
YOU FROM WHERE FRIEND?
Poland, Lodz. I have a picture here too...in another thread (specially for it). I am a Polish born, native and living here aswell.
I hope thats enough for you. Because that all I am gonna give you :)
HELLO FRIEND...THANKS FOR UR REPLY.... YES MY PARENTS HAVE THE PROBLEM ABOUT THE RACISM BECAUSE THEY KEEP TELLING ME IF YOU FIND A GIRL U MUST FIND A GIRL ABOUT YOUR RELIGION AND NOT OTHER CASTS.....THATS WHY I AM SAD AND WORRIED...I DONT WANT TO HURT THAT GIRL AND I HAVENT PLAYED WITH HER FEELINGS BECAUSE MY LOVE AND MY FEELINGS ARE TRUE FOR HER....DO U LIVE NOW IN UK??? REPLY ME PLEASE...THANK YOU.
HELLO FRIENDS.....I LOVE A POLISH GIRL WHO WORKS WITH ME. SHE HAS A CHILD AND A BOY FRIEND... I ASKED HER YESTERDAY THAT WILL SHE MARRY ME....SHE REPLIED THAT NO SHE WONT MARRY ME......AND WHEN I ASKED HER WHY? WHAT IS THE REASON......YOU DONT TRUST ME??? AM I NOT GOOD PERSON FOR YOU...SHE REPLIED THAT SHE TRUST ME BUT SHE NO MARRY ME AND SHE SAID THAT SHE DOESNT KNOW WHY AND SHE ALSO TOLD ME THAT SHE WANT CHILDS LIKE 3 OR 4..... PLEASE REPLY TO MY MESSAGE ANYONE...I WILL HIGHLY APPRECIATE YOUR REPLY. THANK YOU... I FEEL VERY SAD..... SHE SAID SHE LOVES ME AND SHE DOESNT WANT TO MARRY .....HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE.....I AM AN INDIAN AND WE MARRY AND AFTER WE CAN CHILD....PLEASE REPLY ME SOON ...I FEEL BROKEN...
SHE SAID SHE LOVES ME AND SHE DOESNT WANT TO MARRY .....HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE
She obviously doesn't want to marry you. Try being her friend and see if she warms up to you. You're obviously pressuring her which is the wrong thing to do. Some time you love someone like a friend and that's all. Look at your keyboard to the left. There's a caps lock button. Press it.
Good luck. I'd start looking elsewhere for someone who will have the same feelings for you.
HELLO FISZ.... I AM NOT PRESSURING HER FOR IT FRIEND.... BUT ONCE FEW WEEKS AGO SHE TOLD ME YOU MARRY ME SO I THOUGHT SHE WANTS TO MARRY ME AND SO I ASKED HER YESTERDAY ABOUT IT AND NOW SHE SAYS NO.... I DONT KNOW WHY? WHAT IS THE REASON BEHIND IT???
HELLO FISZ.... I AM NOT PRESSURING HER FOR IT FRIEND.... BUT ONCE FEW WEEKS AGO SHE TOLD ME YOU MARRY ME SO I THOUGHT SHE WANTS TO MARRY ME AND SO I ASKED HER YESTERDAY ABOUT IT AND NOW SHE SAYS NO.... I DONT KNOW WHY? WHAT IS THE REASON BEHIND IT???
She's obvously confused and this is bad for you. Picture your whole relationship with someone like this....... please please remove your caps!!!!
