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My Polish guy - loves me he loves me not


leeann 1 | 29  
20 Dec 2007 /  #1
Im in need of advice from women who have relationship experience and can help me out. There is this lovely polish guy named Jakob and he works in my local shop. We have spoken on a few occasions and I decided to put my number in a Christmas card which I gave to him. Next to my number I asked him to call to wish me a merry Christmas. This was last Saturday and he has not called yet. He only works on Saturdays and I'm wondering if I should go there on Saturday and ask for his number because I often go there every Saturday. Should I wait a bit longer and wait for his call or have I messed up and should just forget about him? I wish I had asked him for his number but I was too nervous to do so. Advice please.
_Sofi_  
20 Dec 2007 /  #2
Next to my number I asked him to call to wish me a merry Christmas.

Any chance he thinks you mean on Christmas day?
osiol 55 | 3,922  
20 Dec 2007 /  #3
And it sounded like such a great idea! Maybe you were just a week too early.

should just forget about him?

Probably not quite yet. Imagine:

* ring ring * (as if phones do that these days)

- Hello?
- I'm that chap from the shop. I'm calling to wish you a Merry Christmas...
- Who are you? Why are you phoning me?
southern 75 | 7,096  
20 Dec 2007 /  #4
You could tell him I have a special present for you in Christmas and appear at his home naked under a fur coat.
OP leeann 1 | 29  
20 Dec 2007 /  #5
That is a good point, I did it a week early. Also mayb he has not called yet because he feels that he might see me on Saturday so he may as well call me after. I just wish that I had asked for his number because I'm stressing out. Also yes if I knew where he lived I would turn up naked under a fur coat. By the way how do you know if a guy really likes you. What are the signs?
southern 75 | 7,096  
20 Dec 2007 /  #6
You should know that ceremonies,anniversaries etc,what has to do with specific dates do not have the same importance in men's minds as they have in womens' minds.
starchild 2 | 120  
20 Dec 2007 /  #7
Maybe he's not very brave?

If it were me I'd probably wait until you came in the shop than do this:

Hello?
- I'm that chap from the shop.

Good luck though :-)
osiol 55 | 3,922  
20 Dec 2007 /  #8
You wanted advice from women, so imagine I have temporarily changed sex for the purpose of this post (and this post only).
Go to the shop on Saturday as you would have if there had been no card. He might say something.
I would try not to worry. When nothing happens straight away, it doesn't mean nothing is going to happen.

I'm changing back into being a male donkey right...
... now
southern 75 | 7,096  
20 Dec 2007 /  #9
If it were me,I would call you before,to check if the number is correct.
wildrover 98 | 4,451  
20 Dec 2007 /  #10
he has not called yet

Sometimes guy,s need a little time to figure out the story they are going to spin to cover up the fact they have a wife and three kids back home in Poland.....
sledz 23 | 2,250  
20 Dec 2007 /  #11
maybe he`s gay
southern 75 | 7,096  
20 Dec 2007 /  #12
It is classic example of woman's wrong approach.At least we men are hunters and do all these things a lot better.No man would have done the same in such a circumstance.
PinkJewel  
20 Dec 2007 /  #13
Also yes if I knew where he lived I would turn up naked under a fur coat.

Er, not sure I would recommend that! :)

Go to the shop on Saturday as you would have if there had been no card. He might say something.
I would try not to worry. When nothing happens straight away, it doesn't mean nothing is going to happen.

Sound advice from Mrs(?) Donkey :)
osiol 55 | 3,922  
20 Dec 2007 /  #14
At least we men are hunters and do all these things a lot better

But these things are not as simple and straight-forward as that. All people are different and life has unexpected twists and turns. He may have been a little wrrong-footed, but that doesn't mean there is no metaphorical hunt for him to attempt. Remember that this predator-prey metaphor is but a metaphor.

Sound advice from Mrs(?) Donkey :)

Back to normal now, thanks.
southern 75 | 7,096  
20 Dec 2007 /  #15
way how do you know if a guy really likes you. What are the signs?

Why should we tell you?Have the women told us what the female indications of interest are?You have to find the staff for yourself.
szarlotka 8 | 2,209  
20 Dec 2007 /  #16
You have to find the staff for yourself.

Freudian slip?
OP leeann 1 | 29  
20 Dec 2007 /  #17
Thankyou osiol you tell him. Anyway the reason I gave him my number is because I want him to contact me so that I can speak to him away from the shop and get to know him better. Come on guys, I dont just want him to call to wish me merry Christmas. I want to know him and date him. Southern you are right. Guys are better at the dating game.
PinkJewel  
20 Dec 2007 /  #18
Back to normal now, thanks

Thank heavens.

leeann
I don't think that you have messed up. It's probably true that he's a little freaked out and not sure what to do. You said in another thread that you were moving away. So maybe Saturday will be your last chance to see him, if you don't want to leave with a "what if?" then you need to speak with him. And if it turns out he's not interested, then so be it, you move on. At least you will know. On the other hand, not everyone is as confident on the phone as they are in person. He may like you and not be sure of what to say in a phone call...
OP leeann 1 | 29  
20 Dec 2007 /  #19
If it were me I'd probably wait until you came in the shop than do this:

I dont want to only speak to him in the shop, I want us to go out for a drink and I want him to call so that I can tell him this. Why dont I tell him face to face, too shy. No he is not gay and he does not have a wife and three kids in Poland. Well I hope not. Also guys, any advice for me please. How does a man show a woman that he is interested in her. What are the signs us girls should look for?

Thankyou, pink jewel. Do you mean I should go to the shop and speak to him? What do I say?
taurusboy - | 2  
20 Dec 2007 /  #20
he just doesn't fancy you.
PinkJewel  
20 Dec 2007 /  #21
Do you mean I should go to the shop and speak to him? What do I say?

Yes I think you should try to speak to him, at least to ask him for a drink or something. I don't know what you can say because I don't know how far you've got in your conversation so far. If you have been quite chatty so far then you could suggest to meet him for a coffee one afternoon.
OP leeann 1 | 29  
20 Dec 2007 /  #22
he just doesn't fancy you

That is what I'm trying to figure out dickhead. Anyway tell me how do u know if a guy really likes you? What are the characteristics? Come on men or dont you know?
southern 75 | 7,096  
20 Dec 2007 /  #23
What are the signs us girls should look for?

Let's say one sign.He continues conversation when you stop.
OP leeann 1 | 29  
20 Dec 2007 /  #24
oh that is a very good one. When i spoke to Jakob last Saturday he kept the conversation going when I didnt know what to say. Any more?

Also my friend told me that when guy gets a woman's number, the guy never phones right away. He leaves it for a few days before he calls her. Is that correct, guys? Why?
osiol 55 | 3,922  
20 Dec 2007 /  #25
Any more?

Was that what you said? Then he kept going...

edit: My quote thing ain't working! It should say 'Any more?'. It appears in my edit screen but not on the thread. At least I can't see it.

edit edit: I can see it - half the quote things are on the wrong side of the screen. Hello, Admin! Nice changes - I like it. It keeps us all on our toes / hooves.

edit edit edit: It's moved again. Or am I just seeing things?
sledz 23 | 2,250  
20 Dec 2007 /  #26
Next time you see him ask if he would like to go get a cup of coffee or something
after he gets off work.
If he likes you he will go, or he will make some other arrangments with you.

Youre worring way too much

Dont be shy guys like when women hit on them, if he doesnt take you up on it
then move on... .His Lose:)
southern 75 | 7,096  
20 Dec 2007 /  #27
Is that correct, guys?

No.He usually calls the afternoon the next day.
Another sign of interest is that he becomes nervous,blushes and has a higher energy than usual when talking with you.
OP leeann 1 | 29  
20 Dec 2007 /  #28
Southern you are very good. Are you a relationship expert? Well I was expecting him to call by now but I guess it's my fault for asking him to call to wish me merry Christmas. It implies the opposite of what I really want from him. Also when I spoke to him he didnt seem nervous and he did not blush. Also his energy was normal but he did speak more than I did. Actually he spoke quite a lot. Yap yap yap. He even said "papa pretty" to me when I left the shop.
southern 75 | 7,096  
20 Dec 2007 /  #29
Southern you are very good. Are you a relationship expert?

I have some experience in women pick up.
You should also take into account the loose slavic attitude towards women.They do not present themselves on the foreground as the Westerners,so it may be more difficult to estimate his level of energy.

Polish girls are also a bit aggressive and choosing men,so he probably expects you to do some steps,to show active interest.Slavic men leave initiative to women,they are not so aggressive,they like natural processes.
OP leeann 1 | 29  
20 Dec 2007 /  #30
Do yo think I did enough to show my interest or do you think he is expecting me to make a direct move? I can be quite aggressive when I see something I want and I must have it! Life is too short. to let opportunities pass you by, you have to take risks. I dont want to regret a golden chance.

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