My Polish girlfriend checks my mobile phone all the time

checks my mobile phone all the time

Checks your mobile phone all the time ?

Have you anything to hide?

And you let her?What a master.Basically they never dare to check mine because they will freak out.

she might be onto something, get another phone:)

better still just lock it.

but he has nothing to hide

is she checking if the battery's charged? Anyways, I'd load some kinky xxx pictures from the internet into it that will teach her.

all girlfriends will always check your phone at some time or another, but english ones will be much slower about it - polish ones are practised and will do it from the outset. and if caught with it in their hand they will either swear blind they have never ever checked it or touched it or they will say yes of course you idiot what do you think you would be allowed a private life??!! get real.

the best way is not to try to change her - you won't. so delete absolutely every message, sent and received, and every call, made and received, asap. keep your phone totally clean. that will really fxxx her off but she won't be able to do anything about it. it will also keep her totally in the dark. i know you haven't anything to hide, but it is the principle.

or, if you have nothing to hide, just let her check it. but don't think you will stop her. even if she says she won't do it, she will. trust me. lying is ingrained in the polish culture, i'm afraid - and i will argue to the hilt with anyone on that one, because i have observed it over several years now and i know they mean nothing bad by it, but just have been brought up that if in doubt, you lie, rather than 'stupidly' telling the truth, like brits.

you can only win this one by not caring, and not having anything to hide.

Having been in a relationship with a British male for over a year, I am entitiled to say that what you have put there is nothing but wrong. He used to check my phone reguraly, up to the point I had to always have it on me, even if went to toilet. I have never had anything to hide and I have never checked his phone once even though I was somehow always suspicious about one of his female friends who would text him everyday. In the end, he cheated on me with her and is now in a new relationship with this person. He lied to me looking in my eyes so please, save the talks about how Brits are so honest and sincere and that the lying is ingrained in the Polish culture. One bad apple spoils the barrel and if you only had brains or knew how to use it, you wouldn't have said what you did. Instead, you offended me and it would be nice if you dared to apologise.

All nations lie,the difference is how they present the lie.An english lie is different from a german lie and a polish lie different from an italian.English are more hypocrites,Germans use buffle,Italians are con artists but polish lie blatantly and in offenisve way,that is why they are not so often excused by the others.

Russians also lie but just to gain advantage for the surprise blackmail.

I was actually talking about telling the truth/lying in general, and not about checking phones, but if you are offended, I am sorry. However, I stand by what I said. Having said that, I said it quite lightly and didn't go into the full case. As follows:

I can't speak for all British people, but I can speak for a solid middle-class upbringing and what was instilled into me at home, and at school (a private school, so I can't speak for state schools). I represent a particular English type and was effectively brought up on wartime values. I had the following regularly and very emphatically drilled into me, as did we all:

- You must always tell the truth.
- If you have done something wrong, you MUST own up. (eg, in the classroom - the whole class will be punished if the culprit doesn't own up, etc.)

- It is always better to tell the truth.
- There is nothing more repulsive than a liar.

Additionally, in exams, that a cheat was the lowest form of life, and that cheating was absolutely not on.

I was taught that certain things just weren't on - weren't acceptable. That decent people didn't behave like that.

I never gave it much thought until I started my adventures in Poland and Polishdom. First example: I was teaching a group of fantastic women in Poland in the 90s. They had to pass their First Cert in order to keep their jobs, as they were all teachers. I had known them about 6 months when we started doing mock exams. They were great people, and very serious about their English, so I thought it practically unnecessary to say at the start of the exam that of course there should be no cheating - but I still said it, as I had heard it so many times myself, that it was just the standard form. When they had finished the exam, I jokingly asked who had cheated. All those women, save one, put their hands up, laughing. I, being young and naive, almost fainted with shock. They had CHEATED? In an exam? And were teachers? And were laughing about it?

I am not saying they were bad people or did something wrong. In their culture, I learnt and observed, lying and cheating the system was an ingrained thing. You were EXPECTED to cheat. If you didn't cheat you were considered stupid. And in the circumstances in which they had been brought up, and their parents, indeed it would have been very foolish - life-threatening, even - to tell the bald truth all the time.

I learnt that of course there are situations where one has to deceive in order to survive, or to thrive. The 'everyone must tell the truth' rule only works if everyone does it ... that is why my parents and school were so adamant about it. And in Poland, people regularly lie and don't feel bad at all about it. In a certain stratum of English society, people rarely lie, and if they do, they feel bad. Of course, there are white lies (to save face, to save someone else's dignity), which aren't so bad, but there are other deceptions - such as cheating in an exam - that have a direct reflection on your intrinsic worth as a person. On your decency, or not.

Forgive me, but I suspect you probably haven't had enough exposure to English culture to know where I am coming from on this. Your one boyfriend is not enough of an example. How old is he? Where is he from? Etc. And the traditional British model of decency DOES have honesty as one of its cornerstones. And please don't tell me that you are taught to tell the truth in the same way in Poland, because that isn't true. I have observed for many years now, all sorts of people, in all sorts of situations. I understand why there is this tacit acceptance of the necessity for deception in some situations, but I feel it clash with my own upbringing. And the one thing I certainly do have authority to talk on is that.

So ... in conclusion, yes, sorry, I chucked out a comment without backing it up. And your English bf is jealous and checks your phone all the time. And if you watch 'Dad's Army', all the episodes, you might discern some of the values I'm trying to explain here. And they are very English, if not British. And Poles have a different culture.


exactly. as usual, southern, you have said more effectively in less than a sentence what i tried to say in 25 paragraphs ...

Yes I agree, in many Polish state schools, cheating is somehow tolerated even though not officially allowed. The bad habits students have, stay in them and this is why they don't even find it so bad to cheat again on the exams. I am not impressed with this but personally I've never had to cheat. However, I know from my own experience and observations that if students had respect for their teacher, they would never cheat. I am also a teacher myself and I studied in Poland so I know this environment quite well. There are many changes our educational system needs but I don't think cheating in the classroom is just as bad as lying to somebody who's your partner or sleeping around behind their back. From since I was little I was put under pressure closely related to the religion and morals. Lying to people you love is absolutely not acceptable in my culture and I even find it funny you happened to compare it to cheating on an exam.

Survival of the fittest is a law of nature, kids are given overwhelming ammount of material the are supposed to memorise and often aren't able to folllow it, finally end up cheating. In Poland, students don't pick the subjects they want to learn but are forced to study them all. I've never been into science but I had to pass my exams in chemistry, physics and maths together with the rest of subjects which I won't even list here, but trust me, there are many. Whereas in English educational system, you pick your specialisation fairly early. I'm not trying to justify anything or to give excuses to the cheating kids. I'm disgusted with this and I wish it was to change in my society but also, I'm trying to say there are always two sides of every story.

absolutely agree, and i did say i can now understand situations where cheating/lying seem the best option, for survival (and of course that is different to lying because you're having an affair - not survival then - stupid choice).

but a lot of polish men do have affairs. a lot. i think english men are too scared. they probably just use the internet instead of rocking the boat. another example of poles having more energy than brits ; )

I wouldn't put it better - thank you.


I cannot say anything about this - I have never been in a relationship with a Polish man. However, If I'm to look at my parents who are both Polish, they have been happily married for over 25 years now. Divorces are not half as common in Poland as they are in England but of course, it doesn't have to be related to the actual cheating.

yes, i think there is a lot more forgiving and forgetting in polish marriages ... which isn't always a bad thing, so long as respect is maintained.

An honest man has nothing to hide,

I don't know if my gf checks my phone but if she did she would be bored stupid with all the pictures of cars and funny signs, She is the only person who actually charges my phone though.

hehe, my Polish girlfriend I was with last year did this. I had fallen asleep and she woke me up saying it was over and all that, as she had checked my messages. I had been flirting with some girl, but actually was nothing serious. I remember trying to get the phone off her and she fell on the bed, then she her ran downstairs, in a house full of Polish guys, almost getting me beaten up in the process. haha. Luckily I guess they realised the value of not trying anything and not running the risk of getting a conviction here and that :) I learnt from then always to keep my phone out of reach or locked from girlfriends. and also not to try too hard to get your phone from a polish girl if she's determined to hang onto it :p

Indeed, very amusing. She should have thrown this phone at you rather than make a drama because you are not worth any.

My wife checks my mobile all the time. She makes sure it is charged, that the jam from my afternoon doughnut is removed, that the screen is clean and the keys have no dust between them. Often this takes over half an hour. Should I be worried?

She also diligently cleans the PCs in the house and checks Facebook to make sure I’m not being cyber bullied. Now that is being thoughtful.

well, it was nothing serious, i was flirting with a girl from the internet that i had never met, and it was actually me saying something nice to her, as she was upset if i didn't. quite stupid really, but harmless all in all.

I'm sure you would have responded in a similar way if you discovered messages of that nature on her phone?


Christ thats sad...

yeah i didn't blame her for her reaction. it was normal!

Cheating in school is common (among certain people) in all countries. Maybe a little more cheating in Poland, difficult to compare.

Lying to family and close family and friends is even more unaccepted in Poland than in Western Europe.
So that Polish people in general are lying more in this sphere is not true.

Also note that personality is a very important factor, nationality is a much less important one.

Slier, not slower ;0)

Or most dont bother, if someone is that insecure, they shouldnt be in a relationship.


Or maybe just more respectful towards their partners?


Maybe because the punishments for telling lies and cheating "were" so severe, things have changed in British society.

Anyway, if this guy is so bothered, why doesnt he just speak to her? In fact he's a bit fooked as she probably has access to his computer and is reading this right now because his phone isnt the only thing she goes through :D

Honesty has "decreased" in most of Europe, also in the UK.
The respect for other people today is not even near what it was 50 years ago.

One of the very few things you can demand in a relationship is total honesty.

Hence the reason I wrote "were" - But cheating in exams isnt possible, there are invidulators that partrol the hall whilst pupils are taking exams, if a pupil is caught cheating, then they are removed and their exam papers are disqualified.


Respect today is no where near it was even 10 years ago...Morals and etiquette are no longer taught at home or at school, the outcome is, we have rude and selfish people who would see an old lady stand up on a bus when where are young men sat down.

Yeah, we also have a much more egocentric atmosphere in society today. It's only about me, me me.

Love, respect and good behavior you learn as a young child. But for many people sth went very wrong.

yet again you are so right


again right. and maybe, to be fair on me, that is why i am now so aware - freshly aware - of cultural differences between whatever upbringing i may have had, and that of the poles around me (much as i love them). because i am now bringing up a daughter together with her polish daddy, only i feel like i am bringing her up on my own because all of the please, thank you, be nice, share, kiss night night, give that to daddy/whoever, be a helpful girl, etc. ... comes from me. and i don't see that input from him. i see swearing and too much tv and here have some chocolate/sugar/ketcup/coca cola and dawaj dupe.

ok. oops. now i see it. it's true - you're right again - it's down largely to individuals. probably. only i really don't see so much conscious behavioural shaping from the polish side - and not only her father is here, but her uncle, friends, and god father. a range of generations, a range of personalities. but one constant: the child can shout 'daj' and she gets it. with me, she has to say please, quietly. then maybe she gets it.

szwed, respect yr opinion. tell me what you think. is there not a cultural difference here? and you too, shelley.

I have a Polish friend he is ultra polite, he's been here for 5 years, he has also said he makes his little boy say please and thank you...He does however admit that he does this because its something natural for him to do these days, but not something that is prevalent in Poland.

If you read through some of the threads here there was one about how the English are too polite and that we say please and thank you too much, I come from a family where you had to be excused from the table, so manners are something that are engrained in me, as we say "manner cost nothing" or "manners maketh a man" It is a cultural difference, having said that if you go to a Poles house they we will show you pretty good hospitality, whereas you might go to an English persons house and be lucky to be offered a cup of tea :D Also, I sent a little gift over a friend who recently had a baby and I received a lovely lovely thank you message, so (I hate to say this) maybe your partner, as much as he is sexy and lovely, his manners leave a lot to be desired.