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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, Especially In Another Language!


Cardno85 31 | 976  
24 Feb 2009 /  #1
Right, quite personal, but I am struggling with the grammar to say what I need. Basically I started seeing a girl while in Krakow. She said she wanted to come here and see me and maybe work here for a while. I said that was fine because all was going well over there. But recently she has started pushing me to get tickets organised and moaning that I am going to the pub too often (as you will know Seanus, in small town Scotland, going to the pub is a perfectly acceptable part of the day to catch up with the town gossip, it's a social centre). Plus her conversation has become all about what I am not doing, instead of about things we want to do and nice things. It feels like she is trying to change me and I don't want this carrying on, because I know what it's like to come to a new country with no other friends and to lose that one person you are there for. It's a nightmare. So I feel it's time to bring things to as amicable an end as possible, and I am looking to try and sum this all up in Polish as her English is not very good.
Juche 9 | 292  
24 Feb 2009 /  #2
one word says it all: spadaj
OP Cardno85 31 | 976  
24 Feb 2009 /  #3
Fair enough, but let's assume for the time being that I am not a cold, heartless b*st*rd.

Just the spark really seems to have died and I don't want her banking all of her plans on coming here only to be dissapointed like I was because my ex was too much of a coward to tell me that it was over before it was too late.
plk123 8 | 4,148  
24 Feb 2009 /  #4
spadaj will take care of it.. it's either your heart or hers. besides, seems you understand her whining.. i'll bet she'll understand your response.
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
24 Feb 2009 /  #5
Chciałbym żerwać/rostać (się?) z tobą. To nie jest łatwo Ci powiedzić, ale muszę. Wolność jest bardzo ważne dla mnie.

Something like this. I need more writing practice in Polish. Well, I need practice full stop as I've only had one class in my life so...
plk123 8 | 4,148  
24 Feb 2009 /  #6
żerwać

zzzz.. otherwise, good job.
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
24 Feb 2009 /  #7
Aha, zerwać. Oops, you are right :) Thanks for the correction. A fraction more patience and I would've spotted that.
OP Cardno85 31 | 976  
24 Feb 2009 /  #8
And what, pray tell, does that translate to?
plk123 8 | 4,148  
24 Feb 2009 /  #9
spadaj. ;) :D
sausage 19 | 777  
24 Feb 2009 /  #10
And what, pray tell, does that translate to?

I want to break up with you. It's not easy to tell you, but I must. My freedom is very important to me.
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
24 Feb 2009 /  #11
I'd like to split up with you. It's not easy to tell you but I must. Freedom is very important for/to me.

Spadaj is like get lost. Spływaj is even lighter.
OP Cardno85 31 | 976  
24 Feb 2009 /  #12
Not helpful plk...

(oh and admin, feel free to move this to the translate forum if you feel it necessary, was in two minds which one to put it in)

That is along the right lines I will admit. However it's less the fact that I like my freedom, I would be willing to make sacrifices, it's just she seems to be changing and becoming more moany, I can understand her want to come but she is becoming very possesive and needy and the spark is gone...i doubt it would be rekindled by her coming here. So I am looking for something a bit more sensitive to tell her and maybe a bit more of an explanation.
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
24 Feb 2009 /  #13
Chcę być wrażliwy i taktowny z tobą. Zauważylem, że zazwyczaj narzekasz/marudzisz i nie podoba mi się. I dlatego, że chciałbym mieć dystans miedzy nami.

I want to be sensitive and tactful with you. I've noticed that you usually complain and I don't like this. Therefore, I'd like a little distance between us.
Juche 9 | 292  
24 Feb 2009 /  #14
"Szkoda, przykro mi ale nie pasujemy do siebie, wybacz." will take care of the problem, just as it would in English. Then finish off with "hej, badzmy przyjaciolmi"
OP Cardno85 31 | 976  
24 Feb 2009 /  #15
We are gradually getting there. I am not sure if the Polish-English translation is just coming off sounding a little brash. I don't dislike the girl, I just don't like her enough any more to warrant her coming here. I feel she is owed a decent explanation. I know I don't want to make the mistakes that my ex made with me because I know how miserable it made me. Those were a)dragging me to another country before leaving me and b)never giving me a half decent explanation as to why this was happening all she could muster was "It's just how I feel, I can't explain any more"...but left too many questions unanswered so always (and still) left me asking "Why?".

I feel this girl, as she has done no wrong, really deserves quite a full and sensitive explanation. I think that's fair don't you?

Having never been in a situation like this it's a struggle, really looking for something that explains everything without leaving any questions while not sounding too brash (sorry seanus).
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
24 Feb 2009 /  #16
Sorry, Poles accept/do brash. You don't help yourself here by being too sensitive and sentimental. Most Poles are rugged and just don't work that way, Cardno. My version was, if anything, on the weak side.

You have to be cruel to be kind and I wasn't on this occasion.
frd 7 | 1,401  
24 Feb 2009 /  #17
You should write it down in english and let us translate it, more creativity on your side - and only you can actually translate your feeling into words..
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
24 Feb 2009 /  #18
That's true. Otherwise it is just second-guessing and shots in the dark.
Marek 4 | 867  
24 Feb 2009 /  #19
As a one-time casualty of a long-distance, cross-cultural relationship gone sour, I can definitely confirm that what a partner understands in their native culture/language is usually completely different from that of the other person's, even if English is the common language-:)

At twenty-five I was hopelessly in love with a German girl several years my junior. In this case, although we both spoke German as a first (in my case practically native) language, we scarcely saw eye to eye on basic issues other than the most physically obvious. As a result, we couldn't make it as a couple. Expectations do vary from one culture to another!
OP Cardno85 31 | 976  
24 Feb 2009 /  #20
I was a sufferer of this myself when I came to Poland, just didn't work out which was heartbreaking as I had moved country for the girl. So what I want to say is:

I think we need to end things. Things started out as a nice idea but it kept snowballing and now I feel the only fair way is to end things here before they get too far. I know what it's like being in a foreign country with no friends and nothing to hold onto just wishing that I had just stayed at home. However I don't want you to suffer like I did. I just don't think it will work out, for a start the boss has hired his cousin for the kitchen and so there are only front of house vacancies which requires fluent english. So if you came you would not be working with me and would be in a very foreign environment. Secondly I find myself lying to you and telling you that I am working when I am actually not just to avoid the fallout of you getting on at me to be more sensible and stay at home to talk to you. Thirdly I thought the language barrier would not be such a big deal, but it really is. I am finding it hard to communicate and I see that as a flagstone in a relationship. I really doubt we could make this work over here and I know you banked your hopes on this, but I just can't see it working. I can see myself resenting the fact that you don't want me going out to the pub or having time alone with myself and you don't want to be stranded here with no-one...or worse, stuck in job with someone who has just broke up with you having to see them every day and worse, living in the same house. I feel too much pressure on me to be this knight in shining armour that you want, but that's just not me. I am a young lad that has still to find his feet and, as such, I don't think I can go for your ideas of settling down and having a family after a quick few holidays. I am truly sorry, but it's for the best in the long run.

Bit long winded I know, but I don't want her having to ask questions which I can't understand and answer for her. I know that was the hardest part for me, never getting a proper explanation. I am awaiting a few of the females to have a go and call me all the names under the sun for being such a turd...but hey, you gets what you sows...and this was truly a situation I should have dealt with at the time instead of letting it fester away and become a huge problem.

Thanks for any help folks :)

Or something that get's that message across but is more concise, or a site that I can get that acurately translated would be good.
asik 2 | 220  
26 Feb 2009 /  #21
It's nice you want to explain some things to her.
I was really surprise by some of the guys suggesting to say "spadaj". How unhuman to end a relationship ."Treat others as you want to be treated" - that's all I can say.

Wish you good luck.

ksieciem w slniacej zbroi

should be "lsniacej" and with polish letters "lśniącej" (comes from: "lśniący")
frd 7 | 1,401  
26 Feb 2009 /  #22
jedynie marzac, dlaczego nie zostalem w domu

jedynie marzac, ze zostalem w domu.

ale powoli cos zaczelo psuc sie i

ale problemy zaczely sie nawarstwiac i

Stad tez nie chce, abys

Jednakze ja nie chce, abys

I just don't think it will work out...

Przewiduje, ze sprawy nie uloza sie latwo z praca, poniewaz szef do kuchni

Asik you shouldn't change the meaning.. should be:
Po prostu nie sądzę że to potoczy się dobrze, szef kuchni

a inne wolne miejsca pracy sa dla osob z bieglym jezykiem angielskim.

a pozostaly jedynie miejsca pracy w czesci lokalu dla klientow i wymagaja bieglej znajomosci jezyka angielskiego.

ze pracuje a naprawde to nie pracuje

ze pracuje a tak naprawde to nie pracuje

zebym byl bardziej rozsadny lub zostawal w domu i rozmawial z Toba.

zebym byl bardziej rozsadny i zostawal w domu by z Toba rozmawiac.

Po trzecie, myslalem ze bariera jezykowa nie bedzie az tak wazna, niestety ale jest.

Po trzecie, myslalem ze bariera jezykowa nie bedzie az takim problemy, ale niestety jest.

Jest mi ciezko porozumiec sie z Toba i stalo sie to meczace w zwiazku.

Ciężko jest mi się porozumieć a porozumienie uważam za podstawę związku.

Naprawde mam watpliwosci, ze to dopracujemy. Wiem, ze wiazesz z tym wielkie nadzieje ale ja przeciez widze,ze to nie pracuje.

Watpie by tutaj udalo nam sie to dopracowac, wiem ze wiazalas z tym spore nadzieje, ale ja po prostu nie widze zeby to moglo zadzialac.

I can see myself resenting the fact that you don't want me going out to the pub or having time alone with myself and you don't want to be stranded here with no-one...or worse, stuck in job with someone who has just broke up with you having to see them every day and worse, living in the same house.

Widze siebie majacego pretensje o to ze nie chcesz zebym wychodzil do pubu lub spedzal czas samotnie. Nie chcialabys utknac tutaj samotnie, lub gorzej, utknac w pracy z kims z kim sie dopiero co rozstalas, i widywaniem go kazdego dnia, w najgorszym przypadku, mieszkaniem z ta osoba w jednym domu.

it's far from "small error"
asik 2 | 220  
26 Feb 2009 /  #23
it's far from "small error"

Get a life - frd, stop cruising after me on this forum.

Just put the whole letter in you own Polish words and stop all that crap about showing off how good you are, because you're not.

I don't want to point out your big mistakes in your translated version - it's no point.
plk123 8 | 4,148  
26 Feb 2009 /  #24
"Treat others as you want to be treated" - that's all I can say.

hey, he said she's whinny and want to change him without really even knowing him.. spadaj, splywaj is pretty nice, as far as i am concerned.

to me.. how can you have all this to say to a girl whom you obviously having a hard time communicating in the first place?. let her be and just move on without all this waste of time fanfare bs. dude, life's too short and she's not worth it.. next.

Po prostu nie sądzę że to potoczy się dobrze, szef kuchni

that is better then the other...

a pozostaly jedynie miejsca pracy w czesci lokalu dla klientow i wymagaja bieglej znajomosci jezyka angielskiego.

no, asik had it better

the rest you guys/gals are splitting hair..

and man cardno, you're sounding like a girl.. let it be.. move along
asik 2 | 220  
26 Feb 2009 /  #25
spadaj, splywaj is pretty nice, as far as i am concerned.

Actually it's very rude to say it in such circumstances.

Better if you say "nasz zwiazek nie ma sensu" or "zrywam z Toba" or "koniec z nami" ect. You can explain why or not, it's your choice.
plk123 8 | 4,148  
26 Feb 2009 /  #26
Actually it's very rude to say it in such circumstances.

right, i just don't have time for whining b*tches and going on and on about all this would be enough for me to tell her to get lost.

i find it rude of her to be behaving the way he's described.
pgtx 30 | 3,156  
26 Feb 2009 /  #27
Actually it's very rude to say it in such circumstances.

and immature...
but hey, men grow up slowwwwer...
;)
plk123 8 | 4,148  
26 Feb 2009 /  #28
and immature...

no, her bs is immature.
asik 2 | 220  
26 Feb 2009 /  #29
i find it rude of her to be behaving the way he's described.

She probably doesn't even realise she's hurting him. This relationship shows bad communication because of language barrier and difference in culture as well (like going to a pub - his girl assumes he's drinking or flirting with others).
pgtx 30 | 3,156  
26 Feb 2009 /  #30
no, her bs is immature.

sorry...i didn't bother to read this thread...
:)

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