I attended a Birthday celebration last night/this morning of one of my friends who is Slovakian, Therefore obviously there were a lot of Central Europe / Eastern Europeans in attendance.
I'l get straight to the point, firstly, i'll tell you what happened and then i'll tell you what would of happened if everybody concerned was British.
So my friend who's Birthday it is has a girlfriend (lithuanian) his best friend (polish) has had a few to many vodka's, lagers and whatever else he must have been drinking. So drunken Pole approaches Lithuanian girl and starts speaking to her pretty explicitly what he wants to do with her and how etc etc, for some reason he also decided to talk about my friend (the Slovakian) and what a good bloke he was. So at the moment i'm standing there wondering why the drunken pole is coming onto my mates girlfiend and at the same time telling her what a great bloke his friend is!!!!. It dosen't end there, after enough of the chat he starts to grab her, touch her and even tries kissing her. At this point my friend, who's birthday it is, walks into the room and see's whats happening. Then a conversation takes place in slovak/polish which neither me or Mrs. LIthuania can't understand but whatever was said was neither aggressive or threatening.
So even when my friend left again drunken polak goes back to his ways. This proceeds fora while until unfortunately for mr drunken polak he falls over and hurts himself, so there ends the sexual harrasment, lol.
After seeing all this and being pretty amazed that world war three didn't start out, Mrs Lithuania started to talk to me about drunk guys, her English was not that great as she hadn't been in the country long. I told her had that happened, where all concerned were british, one of two things would have happened, in fact probably both. Firstly the Girl would have pushed away, slapped, hit or did whatever she could to get the guy away from her and secondly the boyfriend would of stood for none of it if somebody was touching up his girlfriend in the way drunken polak was. I asked Mrs Lithuania why she did neither of these things, she just shrugged her shoulders and said 'it happens'.
So my question is, this type of behaviour on the part of the girl, is it normal to just stand there and take whatever a bloke wants to throw at you??? Also on the part of the boyfriend, is it the usual approach just to stand back and make out like you don't give a dam??
The situation left me pretty confused as to, 1, what approach is best, let the guy do what he wants, or get stuck in and defend yourself, if your the girl, or defend your girl, if your the boyfriend!!!
A little explanation would be nice, if at all it is a cultural thing or just the reactions of the individuals involved.
P.S. I'm by now way emplying that all Poles are like the (drunken Polak) it just happened that he was polish :)
I know that you've provided a lot of detail here, but I'd still say that it depends. I've been in the same situation as the Lithuanian girl many, many times... sometimes I've stood, taken it all with a wry smile and maintained the upper hand throughout (while thinking "what a cnut"). Other times I've been a total fishwife and slapped the guy in question (I have done martial arts in the past, so know my stuff)...
All depends on who else is at the party, what's going on, any other dynamics. I don't think that this is specific to nationality.
Could it not be that the alcohol was taken into consideration and the girl and boyfriend were just acting in an adult fashion. Why fight when you don't have to.
I don't think that this is specific to nationality.
i was thinking more of an Eastern European culture rather than specific nationality, thanks for your in put though.
Could it not be that the alcohol was taken into consideration and the girl and boyfriend were just acting in an adult fashion. Why fight when you don't have to.
of course your right but the girl seemed pretty shaken up to me when we were speaking afterwards, i mean at least the guy should have been shown the door.
of course your right but the girl seemed pretty shaken up to me when we were speaking afterwards, i mean at least the guy should have been shown the door.
Hmm... maybe the issue there is that she didn't feel comfortable with suggestive language etc.
I'm not saying that I'm more hardened to it, but maybe it would take a hell of a lot more to shock / make me feel uncorfortable by comparison? Does that make sense?
I'm not saying that I'm more hardened to it, but maybe it would take a hell of a lot more to shock / make me feel uncorfortable by comparison? Does that make sense?
yeah i see what your saying, the suggestive language, the physical stuff too, i guess it can be un-nerving and now i come to think of it, maybe what caused the lack of reaction is that she froze. More like she didn't know what to do. I guess if your in a house full of relative strangers then things are a bit different than when your amongst your own friends.
Suppose the communications barrier didn't help, as she didn't speak much english and she told me she didn't udnerstand Slovak/Polish. I actually felt sorry for her, however was powerless to do anything as it was not my place to do so.
no mate i feel its a valid point, as i said before though i wasn't picking on a particular nationality or saying there was a cultural problem as far as (the drunken pole) was concerned, more to do with the reaction of the lady in question and boyfriend.
i see the funny side of your post and the serious one at the same time
U've seen nothing yet Tornado2007, I saw Japanese men touching young girls IN FULL VIEW and in broad daylight on trains. The looks I got when I told a dirty old lech (yes, not Lech the beer but a lecherous old goat) to keep his hands off were staggering. I asked my Japanese friends why that was and they said I shouldn't have done that. Puzzled, I asked why not. They said that Japanese girls will never scream on a train as they will be rejected by their fellow Japanese, it's culturally forbidden to break the 'wa' or harmony.
Needless to say, I was shocked. I later learned that there is a word called 'chikan' in Japanese which is specifically a train pervert. That's harmony taken to extremes, basic morality teaches u not to touch schoolgirls when u r 3 times their age. Yes, they are cute but that's no excuse.
the part about not screaming in public and been rejected by fellow japanese kind of reminds me of the Asian 'honour' or 'loss of face' although i could be totally wrong there of course.
however was powerless to do anything as it was not my place to do so.
Ok, again, I don't know the full set up, but surely you would have come off well if you'd stepped in and said something along the lines if "Come on mate - back off... you're out of line here". You'd probably have gathered some support from other blokes there.
SPOT ON matey!! 'Kao' in Japanese and the Chinese have sth similar from Confucianism. It's an instilled doctrine from a young age. I did some conversation classes on it in my time in Hiroshima and it's not overstated. Quite amazing what I saw.
Ok, again, I don't know the full set up, but surely you would have come off well if you'd stepped in and said something along the lines if "Come on mate - back off... you're out of line here". You'd probably have gathered some support from other blokes there.
yeah your probably right, actually maybe i could have done something
That's not always how it happens for the all-British scenario at all. I think Wroclaw has it.
Ok tornado, why you posted this topic in Polish culture section ?
as long as I read this forum I started to understand way of English communication. You posted example of drunk Pole ...
I feel you are suggesting something ...
Fristly women in Polish tradition has very high possiton, we celebrate "womens day" Polish females have very simillar earnings to Polish males, and we treat our girls very well.
I think I know what are you trying to say and the fact that you do it in tricky way doesnt change anything.
Personaly Polish towns are invaded by thousends of groups of young english people who have heard that it is land of "the nicest girls from all over the world" ...
and we all know how do they behave ... it isn't just Polish opinion, ask any French, German, Italian person about English males on tour ... and their behaviour.
again we end in the same corner but I had to respond.
sit down and shut up, in fact apoligise, i put this in the Polish Culture section as there is not a section that just says 'culture'. So where else can i stick it, apart from where the sun dosen't shine!!!!!.
Secondly i think you'll find in two of my posts on this forum i have specificly said i'm not pointing out a single 'nationality' whether, polish, lithuanian or slovak. So you can take your words back thank you very much and leave your paranoid statements at the door on your way out of the topic if your going to be like that
Two weeks ago I have been dirnking vodka with my friends in Pub when some tourists came ... started to try to talk to our girlfriends later started suggesting that maybe they would like to taste something "new", in this moment one of my firiends slaped ones face and fighting started ...
Wroclaw Boy noticed that about 30% of expacts had simillar problems in Poland ...
tell me is it normal behaviour in UK ? is it kind of cultural difference ? ;) Of course I am not telling that it is about nationalities ... maybe we react in different ways ..
why it is not about French tourists ;)
I find it funny that you are starting this discussion. English talk about drunk people behaving in wrong way ... lol and ask if it is cultural difference...
I am not paranoid ... and I will inform you that if I were in this slovak situation I would slap this Polaks face ... I think my girlfriend would do the same ...
calling it an 'Eastern European' thing is still lumping it together, IMO. You don't have to specifically say Polish, Lith, etc... but when you claim that this is an aspect of "Eastern European" culture, thats more or less the same thing.
i.e if you found a post that was lumping all UK people together and saying, oh I don't mean England, Scotland or Wales specifically, I just mean that its a 'UK' thing, I'm sure you wouldn't be too happy about that either.
In parts of India widows are burnt to death because they're husbands have died and their existence no longer has any purpose. Patriarchy exists everywhere.
ok fair point, but i wasn't specificly making a 'point' about the culture i was asking a 'question' so to be mobed with 'your slagging poles' isn't really valid because i was asking the question not making a point
ok fair point, but i wasn't specificly making a 'point' about the culture i was asking a 'question' so to be mobed with 'your slagging poles' isn't really valid because i was asking the question not making a point
IMO, its intrinsically linked.
As for your answer, I think its up to the girl to defend herself. Why on earth would she need a guy to say what she can say for herself. I've had a similar situation (don't know his nationality, all I know is that he was white trash) and I gave him a piece of my mind and then he called me a b*tch, that I'm not that 'good' and walked away. I couldn't care less what he thought. At the end of the day, the guy is a stranger that she probably won't see again, so no need to get so freaked out about it.
and I asked the question. Is it normal bahaviour in Uk ? I pointed out.
yeah i think pretty much there is a lot of the behvaiour that you and others have described in this forum, that goes on week in week out in the uk. I was actually thinking that in the situation i was talking about, it was handled well especially by the boyfried, i was not being negative but positive. I just felt sorry for the girl that was all.
This has nothing to do with Eastern European culture...most Polish guys I know would knock the other guy out, and as for Polish girls, they would probably be even more compelled to slap the guy in the face.
read the story, not everybody involved is polish, i accept what your saying but hay, people just can't wait to pop of a few rounds before looking at the target :)
This has nothing to do with Eastern European culture...most Polish guys I know would knock the other guy out, and as for Polish girls, they would probably be even more compelled to slap the guy in the face.
I have chceked in dictionary .. yes your version is more proper ;)
as to vacumecleaner ...
English people masturbate on streets of Krakow ... they fuk dust-bins ...
read the story, not everybody involved is polish, i accept what your saying but hay, people just can't wait to pop of a few rounds before looking at the target :)
I was just saying it has nothing to do with Eastern Europe(the nationalities in question) and I was giving an example of what would happen if all Polish were involved.
Tornado - back to your original point... weren't you more interested in the Lithuanian girl's response to the drunk guy (ok, so he was Polish in this case, but could so easily have been Swedish / American / Japanese / whatever)?
I was just saying it has nothing to do with Eastern Europe(the nationalities in question) and I was giving an example of what would happen if all Polish were involved.
ok i get you
to the drunk guy (ok, so he was Polish in this case, but could so easily have been Swedish / American / Japanese / whatever)?
yes of course he could have been anything, totally, it just happened he was polish that was all, i didn't say it to start anything, lol.
weren't you more interested in the Lithuanian girl's response to the drunk guy
yes, lol, thats what i'm trying to say, i mean guys get drunk, sheeessshhh i mean who dosen't know that. I was interested in both the LIthuanian girls response and her bf's response. I'm yet to ask him as i didn't mention it to him at the party for obvious reasons.
