Your Funniest / Strangest / Sadest Moments with the Polish Language

Isn't the Czech word for west (or is it east) remarkably similar to a Polish word for toilet?
Or is it the other way round? Or is someone pulling one of my legs?

maybe rather one of your ears? that's why you can't remember that well - couldn't hear so well at the time ;)

I'd have thought your floppy ears would be more likely to stop the sound getting through.

Warning: let's not go off-topic. That way, the world will enjoy these humourous anecdotes and maybe even learn something from some of these cautionary tales.

:) sounds like you're praising a master's thesis osiol - i feel honoured... and i'm half asleep. dobranoc

but yes, let's not go off topic!

My brother and I grew up with a Polish dad who loved using Polish adjectives and nouns mingled with English sentences - I'm sure soem of you will have a parent like that. Little did we know that the Polish words he used were the vulgar ones.

My brother went to Poland a few years ago and stayed with our relatives (quite conservative apparently). He thought he'd be smart and use those Polish words my dad had ingrained in our heads - he didnt really know any others. So when my brother wanted to use the toilet, he asked where's the "srutch??" which he found out after all these years means "shithouse".

It was pretty windy, so he proudly said "it's pizdzy??" which translated to something like farting.

He had a few more shockers like that. My bro said he'd never been so embarrassed in his life. My dad just laughed wehen he heard about it - bastard!

lol, funny stuffy ozi! you're father is/was a funny man!

when learning English the way I could remember the word "because" was think of "bigos" - its the famous polish cabbige.

and when in Poland instead of using the word "utrwalacz " eg: utrwalacz w żywności. eg preservatives in food.
I used the word "prezerwatywa" (that word in polish means condom ). he he he

some funny mo's here :P

there is a word 'dziewka" in Polish (rather old fashioned, still may be used in some dialects but I'm not sure) and it means 'a girl'. probably it's not used in standard polish anymore because of the similarity to the insulting 'dziwka'

I am tempted to ask if this cross-reference came as a result of czech girls' morals.

hehe, I have no idea:)

Now my bf with his logick thinking decided that shoping in Polish must be sklepping and that becouse he remembers that shop in Polish is sklep so he thinks that is the same way like in English.

shopping-zakupy

this is brilliant! hubby had such a laugh!

Two meanings I know about:

- a young girl who works as a servant for a farmer
- a morally unscrupulous woman. OK, a wh.ore :)

I'm unaware of the usage of the word in Polish that would mean "girl", although its diminutive form (dzieweczka) has no pejorative undertones and it means "young girl".

i did something stupid, when i was talking instead of saying im cooking, i said im eating someone, it was really imbarassing!

lol - happens to all of us - these silly things :P

I too had the foul-up with the word preservatives when talking about foods. I came back to Poland after many years, sitting with my Mom, her old neighbors... a table full of ladies teas and cakes... and i explained how i didn't like preservatives in my food. Lots of red faces :)

As already noted, preservatives said Polish-like "Prezerwatywy" means condoms.

Correctly:
Preservatives = konserwanty (conservants) in Polish, when referring to food preservatives you say konserwanty.

Cipa (Cipka), pizda = vulgar of vagina

that same trip after many years of not being in Poland, I had some people ask me "how the climate was" over there (usa) "Jaki tam klimat?" - i was surprised about their curiosity of the weather as i was happy to explain the horrible humidity on the east coast and how its impossible to live without an air conditioner. Compared to Poland, the humidity in the summer time is truly remarkable...

So after many people asked me this question, i began wondering - then caught on when the same people asked me the same question again...

Klimat = climate is used as a slang for "social atmosphere" or simply "what's it like"...

The difference between cipa and czipa. Also, picia and picza. I once told my fiancee that I was eating Kasia when I wanted to say that I was eating kasza.

Another peculiar similarity is zadbana and zajebana. God created a tough one there :)

Some years ago I knew a guy from Libya who spoke surprisingly good Polish. One day he was telling us a story and was missing a word for a king's daughter. So after a few seconds of hesitation he yelled triumphantly KRÓLEWICZKA!

But think of all the Poles who say they **** when they merely mean they can't.


I declared to my work colleagues recently that I am their rabbit.
I meant to say I was their king, but an extra syllable got in the way. Eek!

That's true, Osioł. Another favourite for them is grope instead of group, or beer instead of bear.

I sometimes say mam w dupe instead of w dupie and that's a big mistake.

Your story is so much nicer than mine and it is so much milder.

I learned not to say ciocia at an early age in my community. We have a big Puerto Rican community where I live. All I can say the burn from being slapped by an elderly Puerto Rican lady is still felt today. Just recently I got into an arugement with a lady at Wal-Mart for she heard the word ciocia while I was speaking to my son in Polish. She had to add her two cents stating that I am teaching my son bad words and degrading myself. Ciocia (chocha in Puerto Rican) means p***y. Go figure!

While ordering nalesniki crepes at a Polish celebration, I had mispronounced the word. The woman I was ordering the food from started laughing her head off. I didn't think it was funny at all. Maybe I should hire a tutor, to teach me how to pronounce words correctly in Polish.

My son while in kindergarten got in trouble because he was sing Arka Nego song Taki duży taki mały może Świętym być (Such a big one, such a small one can be a saint). The poor boy had to call me and explain to me why he was calling me at work. I had to explain to the director of the school that the word być is the verb to be in Polish and not the degrading word for a woman that all of his classmates knew expect him.

Hey everybody I'm Lebanese and my step mother is polish so I learned some polish to be able to communicate with her and some family. Polish words have so manyyy "funny" meaning in my native language. When a lebanese enters our home and my stepmom says: "Zparaszamy" some people give her the look because that actually means Syrian dick in lebanese :P. Another funny word is "Luty" which means gay in Lebanese along with "dobrze" which also means sissy :P . The more I learn polish the more funny words are popping out :P Cheers!

Good ones, foufz. There was a shop in Budapest with sth like Arucha Cipa. It turns out that it meant building supplies.

No, it's serious.

Polish: zachód (west)

Czech: záchod (toilet)


As there are now "seks szopy" in Poland, the correct term is clearly "szoppingi" ;)

And don't forget, "zrobić komuś loda" doesn't mean you want to make them some ice cream :D

There's also polish "wychodek" (older "wychod").. pretty similar.. both words originated from "chodzić" - to walk..

and of course Czech východ = exit/way out (from chodit, to walk) ;)

My English teacher told us once that he was watching TV and there was a commercial where a guy shouted: UWAGA! and he understood it as 'you fu..er'

Cinek