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Posts by EvieSeo  

Joined: 23 Oct 2009 / Female ♀
Last Post: 23 Oct 2009
Threads: -
Posts: Total: 7 / In This Archive: 6
From: Canada
Speaks Polish?: yes

Displayed posts: 6
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EvieSeo   
23 Oct 2009
Love / All Polish girls are like that? If you were her would you do the same? [62]

Definitely. Your togethership isn't/mustn't be a problem for anyone. I meant you isolated yourselves from community problems. For example, right now, there is a global economy crisis all over the world lasting for a year. Does this have any affect in your togethership? When I think of such things with my gf (potential anyway) I feel I need to think and agree also on such things and feel a need of common ground in advance before being together.

No, it doesn't affect us anyhow, except for maybe we both complain sometimes, but it's more like just discussing the economy and so on, we don't let it get in between us.

I think you need to build a relationship from ground up, with strong ground level, so in case of a storm, the structure won't be shaken. If you'll find the right girl, who will stand by you, there won't be any problem, doesn't matter what the situation is (at least outside of your relationship).

However these days it's really hard to find the right person, people seem to be pursuing all the wrong things in their life. They also tend to blaim each other for whatever bad happens to them, and this is a wrong approach to relationship.
EvieSeo   
23 Oct 2009
Love / All Polish girls are like that? If you were her would you do the same? [62]

EvieSeo, people have "common grounds" mostly due to bad experiences/problems that they have lived in the past. You look like you "two" isolated yourselves from the community. I'd love to do that, either. But, somehow, some community problems coming and pulling my legs and i then trying to find another ground. And, you know my ground. When people face such hard problems they feel they are in marsh and they mostly do easy simple things and hold already available branch such as religion, nation, etc etc to protect themselves as and in a community.

I wouldn't say that we isolated ourselves from the community. We do have both Korean and Polish friends, on top of that Chinese, Canadian and many other.. My parents love Jae (my husband) and accept him, we never had any problems. Jae's parents like me too (I hope^^), we spent summer together, went camping and so on.. So no, we're not isolated.

But if you'd ask me if we care what other ppl think - no, if someone has a problem with us being together, we don't give a sh**, it's our life, right?
EvieSeo   
23 Oct 2009
Love / All Polish girls are like that? If you were her would you do the same? [62]

Hah, man, you don't even know how much we went through together, seriously! Not only joys, as it might have sound, but many problems, but not problems between us, but usually facing problems together, i.e. my status in Canada (the whole paperwork and problems with that), money problems, deciding about the future, which path to take and so on.

However he always stands by my side when I need him, supports me and so on, and I do the same for him. I support his studies, his work, his decisions. I mean, that's the whole point of being in relationship, right?

We did have some small misunderstandings at the beginning - somethimes we fought, but we always talked it out and so far it works.
No relationship is flawless, but it's up to people how they deal with that.
EvieSeo   
23 Oct 2009
Love / All Polish girls are like that? If you were her would you do the same? [62]

EvieSeo, may I ask this if you don't mind. You and your Korean partner are giving out of yourselves and learning things (cultural, language, etc) of each others. I understand this well. But, where is your meeting point? (understand heart meet, but, in mind?)

You mean a so called "common ground"? Well, practically everything we do, we enjoy together. If I am ying, he would be my yang ;) We met, for we both love travelling, and this is how it started, then we enjoyed travelling together for many years. We went to Asia together, drove across Canada (road trip), visited Poland, Czech and other places..

We love camping out, we both enjoy cooking (actually we plan to open up a restaurant together). For me, he is more like a long lost part of me, rediscovered all over again, when I met him, so when you ask me what is the meeting point, it's just hard to descibe, for we don't have to meet in a point, we're just one.

It's hard for me to understand how two people can love each other and still put cultural differences or religion over the partner, it can not be a TRUE love I think.

The trick is to enjoy discovering each others backgrounds and culture, not be prejudiced and biased from the step one of relationship. We're both excited about this stuff, I enjoy Korean culture (movies, music, food, language, people), he feels the same about Polish..

That's why it works.

Sorry about the offtop.
EvieSeo   
23 Oct 2009
Love / All Polish girls are like that? If you were her would you do the same? [62]

shaziluk:
i am having a serious conversation.

Get a goat and your problems will be solved.

You get a brain and some respect for other people. If you don't have anything smart to say than just stay away from the thread and don't offend other people. You're making a clown of yourself man!

I agree with Monlighting, cultural/religious differences are pretty hard to overcome, it always involves lots of compromises, but when there's only one person willing to sacrifice (clearly she is not), then it's bound to go wrong.

Moreover I do not think she actually loves you, for I think if she would, she would at least try to work it out. From a girls perspective.. - we do usually follow our hearts, I for example married a Korean man and moved to Canada to live with him, and now I'm adapting to Korean culture and way of thinking, BUT - he is doing the same thing for me, he learns how to speak polish, he puts lots of effort into getting to know my country of origin and its culture. So in my opinion, as long as there are two people who are willing to compromise and work on the relationship, it doesn't have to be a struggle, but a wonderful journey.

In your case, I think you're the one who loves with all heart, and she.. well, maybe she doesn't love that much. Not as much as to overcome all the differences. From what you're saying I think she played you, you had a fling, not a LOVE going on there.

BUT, whatever we say here it's just all guessing, we might be right, we might as well be wrong, so it's best to ask her. She is the only one who can give you the answer.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry this happened to you. You seem to be a nice guy.
EvieSeo   
23 Oct 2009
Love / All Polish girls are like that? If you were her would you do the same? [62]

Love is no more in europe because most people are selfish! and love is not for the selfish hearts.

First and foremost - you really can not judge the whole Europe, not even the whole Poland, coz you had some bad experience with one woman. We don't know her side of the story, maybe there is something wrong with you, that she wouldn't cope with, who knows? Generalizing people like that shows that you're biased and closed-minded. Do you really think all polish women are the same? So are all muslims the same too?

secondly, why even whining about personal stuff of this sort on a public forum? It's pretty childish to me, since clearly you don't want to share your experience, but what you want to do is make people think that everyone in Poland is like your ex. And man, this is just wrong..

You need to realize that love not always equals happy ending and "happily ever after". In order to find the right person you need to interact with people, date.. Maybe you're just not THE ONE, why should she sacrifice everything and get into this relationship, if she has doubts or somehting. Fine, she shouldn't have slept with you, giving you false hopes. Apparently you were just unlucky to meet one of the "religious" people of Poland, who are running to Church every Sunday, coz they have big, nice bag of sins to redempt.

**** happens.
Move on.

I myself am a polish girl, non religious, married to a Korean, who comes from a totally different cultural background, and even though there are many differences, we never had a problem working them out, coz we really LOVE each other. So here your theory, about polish girls not being able to commit, fails.

My advice is: accept the fact that relationships sometimes fall apart, that's just life. Don't try to look for excuses and don't go around placing blame on Europeans (oh, bad bad europeans.. why did you go there then, huh?), their cultural or religious background, stats, or whatsoever. Be a man and take it as a man,k?

Look at the bright side.. at least you're not a virgin anymore :)
Pity though, they say if you wait it out till 30 you can do magic ;)

Cheers!