Love / Love my polish girlfriend alot but under pressure from family [166]

Lovewithpolish I share your agony ... I like you fell in love with a polish girl last summer.

my case is almost identical to yours in that my parents back home didn't know about her, I spent last xmas with her parents which was rather enjoyable to say the least

in my case her parents were against the idea of her dating a "muslim" although I am an atheist and have lived in europe for a long time, they were still against the idea thinking I will kidnap their girl and take her home, lock her away in my harem and force her to cook/clean for the rest of her life

it was my girl's strength to go against her family which made them come to a fragile peace with it

apart from that they showed a will to conform to my traditions when I visited, like not drinking or eating pork which I felt was promising from their part

my visit was very good though, despite the language barrier I felt like their fears have been reduced a little

I am going to cut to your problem straight away, your parents approval ... In my case I wasn't going to tell my mother until it got very serious but my girl actually told me to tell her before I went for xmas and I did

my case might be different to yours because I am going to do what I am going to do and my parents know that so my mother kind of made her peace with it in her head, when I told her about the girl she said it's ok at the time then I called her again and she said she isn't ok with it but that it was simply based on the fear that this woman will leave me at an old age and I will end up alone old man which is a biggie to her, she drew from an experience of a relative who married a european woman for 25 years only to end up with separation and him coming back home, there is also a feeling from my mother's part that she will end up being alone with her kids all going away

my father doesn't know but he isn't a problem, if I told him I m gonna live in mars he'd say send a postcard

I still have many talks to have with my mother and I am being very diplomatic, the last thing I want is to give the impression that her son doesn't care about the feelings of the woman who went through hell to raise him up to be the great man he is now

I don't know about your case friend, do you think there will be resistance from your mother or from both parents, and why there will be in the first place?

don't be afraid of the confrontation, you have to consider your parents feelings and be very diplomatic when you talk to them especially your mother

when it comes to this I found that if you tell that her parents accepted you it might help with your parents acceptance, it was hard for her parents to accept you too but I know it will be harder for your parents to accept her simply because our culture isn't at that level yet

to sum up ( because I have to leave ) I think your case is more serious than mine, 3 years is a lot so I'd start thinking about telling family and making future plans

if you have any further questions don't hesitate to ask me in an email

all the best

K

News / Poland's Future Includes Fewer Poles, More Foreigners [324]

every immigration debate I witnessed or was involved in is a repetition to one single theme that many either overlook or simply choose to ignore

what is a country?
a collection of people with a single ethnicity and living habits? or a constitution based on laws that stem from her citizens based on democratic process?

what is modern citizenship?
do you earn it or inherit it?

simply speaking a country in this global village is like a family, it's members happen to find each other living in the same house, you might not get along with your parents or your siblings but you manage to have a set of rules that everyone abides by to ensure a harmonious existence overall

Europe's relation with immigrants is akin to that between a damsel in distress and the knight, he saves her from the dragon then when he tries to "get some" she refuses! wtf

knight did his part, immigrants have helped build Europe from the rubble of ww2 to the thriving and wonderful place it is now, now when they ask for their own identity and principles to be incorporated into the social weave of the Europe society they are denied? 2nd and 3rd generation immigrants are part of Europe by virtue of merit because their fathers helped rebuild this continent

same goes to new immigrants, Europe needs low level labour as well as very skilled labour so these must be let in and the consequences of having these highly skilled migrants will be a compromise from Europe to their cultural and social heritage, within democracy and freedom of speech of course but a compromise nonetheless

News / Poland's Future Includes Fewer Poles, More Foreigners [324]


you can demand that there will be a certain alteration from their part to accommodate you since you aren't simply a guest, you bring bacon at the end of the day, you are a resident ... and in the case of the UK I'm sure no one will mind if you asked to change the food


there was a group of people in the 18th century who held principals which conflicted with the existing one, these principals were freedom of speech, human rights and the right to vote ... their principals were considered alien to that society but they were nonetheless useful to the whole society, I'm not proposing a revolution like the French one but a constructive debate about what should be incorporated and what shouldn't must take place

K