nicola
20 Nov 2008
Love / Helping a Polish friend to be happier......??? [5]
Hi Everybody and anyone that takes the time to read this post.
I am British female and have made a new Polish friend here in Lancashire. I have come across a bit of a problem though.
Firstly he doesn't speak english and i don't speak Polish but we do have a great time when we meet up and go out!! We have laughed so hard we cried and then i thought, 'I bet we are laughing at two totally different thing.' but none the less we carry on laughing!! He is such a gent, caring and friendly and funny!
I have come to know that he is quite controlled by a guy he lives with. From controlling money, friends and generally life! He does work at the moment but has no money as thats being controlled. When i have met him his brother is always there. He once stayed out one night and the next day his brother got quite violent over the matter. I do not understand his motives for this?
He has told me he has children back in Poland and is very sad and obviously misses them. He doesn't live in a polish community and doesn't know where to go to make friends (if he was allowed out on his own!) how to get his own place etc. I have offered him help to get a new job for more money to get his own place and afford to fly his children out to see him. He has accepted my help but his brother doesn't know about this. (Unless he's reading this!) My help is not money, but to introduce him to better opportunities that he can control himself and make his OWN life better.
I don't want to patronise him but I don't know if I am doing something i shouldn't be? I told him he doesn't have to accept my offer but has said yes but can only talk when his brother is not there. I don't want anything out of this but to see a very friendly, thoughtful, lovely man be happy and stop be supressed and away from his children. I am fortunate enough to be happy and able to help someone else that could be so much more happier.
Has anyone got any advise from personal experience or other on this matter. Should I help or steer well clear??
Thanks for reading and sorry if i kept repeating myself!!
Nicola :)
Hi Everybody and anyone that takes the time to read this post.
I am British female and have made a new Polish friend here in Lancashire. I have come across a bit of a problem though.
Firstly he doesn't speak english and i don't speak Polish but we do have a great time when we meet up and go out!! We have laughed so hard we cried and then i thought, 'I bet we are laughing at two totally different thing.' but none the less we carry on laughing!! He is such a gent, caring and friendly and funny!
I have come to know that he is quite controlled by a guy he lives with. From controlling money, friends and generally life! He does work at the moment but has no money as thats being controlled. When i have met him his brother is always there. He once stayed out one night and the next day his brother got quite violent over the matter. I do not understand his motives for this?
He has told me he has children back in Poland and is very sad and obviously misses them. He doesn't live in a polish community and doesn't know where to go to make friends (if he was allowed out on his own!) how to get his own place etc. I have offered him help to get a new job for more money to get his own place and afford to fly his children out to see him. He has accepted my help but his brother doesn't know about this. (Unless he's reading this!) My help is not money, but to introduce him to better opportunities that he can control himself and make his OWN life better.
I don't want to patronise him but I don't know if I am doing something i shouldn't be? I told him he doesn't have to accept my offer but has said yes but can only talk when his brother is not there. I don't want anything out of this but to see a very friendly, thoughtful, lovely man be happy and stop be supressed and away from his children. I am fortunate enough to be happy and able to help someone else that could be so much more happier.
Has anyone got any advise from personal experience or other on this matter. Should I help or steer well clear??
Thanks for reading and sorry if i kept repeating myself!!
Nicola :)