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Posts by lightsphere  

Joined: 3 Jan 2007 / Male ♂
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From: Mexico
Interests: Chamanism

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lightsphere   
3 Jan 2007
Love / Some expert in polish women can tell me what happened here? [37]

Hi!

In the past month, I had an approach to a polish girl, for some weeks, and, altough i'm not seeing her anymore, I became very curious about what happened, and how much of her behavior was part of a polish cultural heritance... maybe this all sounds pretty serious, but I take this all as a part of the life game ;-) .

She is a polish (from Warsaw), educated, intelligent and well, ironic-humored, 27 y.o. cute blue-eyed blonde who was visiting my city, in Mexico, for 6 months. She was in love with anything mexican, and was introduced to me by a friend that apparently has no relationship-interest in her. I was single for some months, and became instantly fascinated by her. I was friendly and kind to her, but didn't make any advance, until, some weeks later, we accidentaly (I live in a very small town) meet in a restaurant I was dining at. She sat at my table, and we started talking and talking and talking (she, as well as me, speak in very competent spanish and english) and very soon we were having lots of fun, next day we went to a bar, next day to a karaoke, next day to the beach, then to a dance club, having dinner or supper together almost daily. We were very intimate and open in our friendship relation, but her mood remained kind of cynical/humourous, and my instincts told me to remain like this myself (anyway, this is a natural for me).

We keept dating, and in a few days, I told her that I liked her very much, but she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship. I took her 'no' with a light-heart, and we keep going as friends. One night, we were looking a movie in my house, and later, I asked her (very casually) to stay the night there, and she agreed as long as we didn't have sex (I have ony one, very big bed in my house). I said 'ok' and we really were speaking most of the night, and sleept just a couple hours; I think none of us could sleep because of the sexual tension (i'm sure it was hard for her too! ;-) ). Anyway, in the next days we traveled to some Mexican cities, kept dating, and she became closer and more affectionate with me. We kept sleeping together almost daily, no sex, but some cuddling, touching, kissing and stuff. She slept hugging me with arms and legs.

Then, one day before a wonderful visit to Mexico City, she didn't call me anymore, nor would she answer my calls or messages. Then, it was 5 or 6 days from there, and some friends told me that she was dating the friend that originally introduced her to me. Then, some days ago, I get to know that he's her new boyfriend!

At first I got a little infatuated and when I discovered the truth became disillusioned, but I understand that, altough I really liked her, she was playing a game, or didn't liked me at all. I'm almost peaceful with the situation now, but some questions remains in my head.

A mexican woman would hardly do such a thing as to leave without speaking first; and she looked sincere and trustful, but acted just the oposite. It was something to do with her being polish or me being mexican? My friends tell me very simple answers like: "he (the other guy) has dark skin, and blondes prefer that" (I have an almost white-pale skin), or: "She was just playing with you to make the other guy jealous".

Anyway: all I want is to learn a lesson from this experience, so the hard days I had, could left me some extra wisdom.
Any ideas about what would make a woman act like that?

Thank you! I love polish people anyway. They're smart and lovely, even as she was kind of... cold! :-S .
lightsphere   
3 Jan 2007
Love / Some expert in polish women can tell me what happened here? [37]

Very interesting story. The question is - why she's been staying in Mexico for 6 months! It's not common for a young girl just to go to another country for so long. That's why I think she's just been looking for adventures and wasn't serious/ready for any relationship. Possibly she broke up with her boyfriend in Poland and just wanted to forget about it by visiting another country...

Hi Guest5! Thank you for your opinion.... yes, I think it can be something like that... she said that she broke recently with a boyfriend! But apparently, she's now in a relationship with the other guy. She said to me that she saved money for a year's just to spend 6 months in her beloved Mexico. The question remains: Was her behavior 1)typical from a cultural pattern; 2)typical from an emotional pattern, or 3)non-typical at all? I'm afraid it's number 3, but would like to know if someone supports another option. :-)
lightsphere   
3 Jan 2007
Love / Some expert in polish women can tell me what happened here? [37]

What you have gone through is not uncommon in any nationality. Some people find it easier to "fade away". That's all.

Hi Roz! I considered that too... but, being the first time it happens to me, and coinciding with my first relation with a polish girl, I'm still not sure. All my relations with mexican girls, one swiss girl, and one italian girl, ended with a civilizated and open dialogue. Maybe I'm just new to 'fading away'. Thank you!
lightsphere   
3 Jan 2007
Love / Some expert in polish women can tell me what happened here? [37]

4) Typical from any woman.

Don't over analyze it. Learn from it and move along

OK. I'm already moving! And, to this very moment, what I've learn is:

"I still can't understand women, whatever country they are from." ;-)
lightsphere   
3 Jan 2007
Love / Some expert in polish women can tell me what happened here? [37]

Sounds like my typical "sex date"...

Mexican women do it, too. My recent experience was with a woman who resembled Eva Longoria. We both have single parent lives, live over an hour apart, and we both have busy work schedules, so the fade was inevitable... At least for the moment....

Thank you Bolo and Roz!! I've realized another thing: "Men suffer the same problems around the world", hehehe!
lightsphere   
3 Jan 2007
Love / Some expert in polish women can tell me what happened here? [37]

some people have ideas about what love should feel like

Ooh Shewolf... that phrase of yours ringed a bell in my head... when I asked her why she didn't want to have sex, she said: "I want to make sure this is love, and not just passion"... what I still don't get is: why she run away even from the 'friendship'? It makes me go mad, because I know that two more weeks of this 'friendshp' and we would be a formal couple, and I feel that she got afraid about that :-) . We really got on very well! Anyway, thank you for equilibrating the discussion with a 'Yin' point of view ;-) .
lightsphere   
10 Jan 2007
Love / Some expert in polish women can tell me what happened here? [37]

Thank you very much for your interesting and very educating opinions! Shewolf, Patrycja19, nauczyciel , Maati, et al.

Sadbuttrue, I can recognize a lot of that girl in your girl; I think definitely there's a Modus Operandi, but it has nothing to do with birth country, but human nature, like someone said.

Now I think my question maybe has several answers, after reading all of your messages, I have made this mixed conclusion about what happened there:

40% She feel afraid of falling in love because of her returning to Poland in 3 months
30% She was just playing because she didn't want to be hurt
20% It was a pattern in her, independent of nacionality
10% She liked more the other man

As someone else said before, it doesn't matter anymore, I'll just keep going with whatever happens next; but my mind is more quiet now that I've shared my experience and received your feedback.

Thank you very much!! And a strong hug to all :-D