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Why does this Polish guy act like this at work? I don't understand his behaviour


eloise
4 Feb 2019  #1
A Polish guy of my age treats me in a weird way and I don't understand me. He has this kind of behaviour only with me, with the other girls he's kind and helpful. I did not do anything bad to him by the way.

- as soon as I come to work, he starts laughing and elbowing his female friend
- once he threw a box in front of me intentionally saying sorry in a feminine voice (to mock me)
- he looks at me while working and starts whistling songs
- once he got mad at me because I didn't take the box immediately an said something in polish tough he knows I cant speak nor understand polish

- he walks weirdly (like, slowly and like models, swinging), has buzzcut blond hair and a serious proud expression all the time, and with me has this bossy and serious tone, with othr girls he jokes and looks calmer and kind

- he helps all the girls. Except me. Once he was in trouble and looked at me for help. I did not help him cause he threw the box at me.

- once he opened the door and let it close in front of me. With other girls he's always gentleman and kind and holds door and boxes for them.

- he always treats me differently. Does he nate me for my ethnicity (I'm eastern european too, but not polish)

Can you give me some advice on how should I behave towards him? Avoid him, pretend he's not there and ignore him? Or mock him just like he mocks me (I actually dont want to deal with him, cause he has lots of friends as I do not at work). And above all, why dies he hate me so much? I have a polish friend and know polish people, they are friendly and hardworking, this guy hates me for just existing
Miloslaw 6 | 1,815
4 Feb 2019  #2
He probably likes you.
Lyzko 20 | 6,334
4 Feb 2019  #3
Eloise, it sounds to me as though what you've described are merely the personality "flaws" of a poorly adjusted male, scarcely something typical of Polish men:-)

On the other hand, every cultural group has its typical behaviors which can lead to stereotyping. We Americans for instance, I can state being from the States, tend to be like the proverbial bull in the China shop abroad, expecting everybody to speak, at least know basic, English any place they go! We also tend to be overly familiar with strangers and expect that what works at home works throughout the world! Reality ck, it DOESN'T!

Polish men, at least young men, do tend to come across a bit alpha-male as a rule, macho cool with the ladies, dowsed in (expensive) cologne, chewing gum and

getting drunk at the drop of a hat. However, for every Pole who fits this description, there will be others who break the rule, rather than confirm it.

The same description I gave, might as easily apply to American, French, German, Russian, Italian or Israeli men, certainly as much as to Polish males.
Bratwurst Boy 5 | 9,683
4 Feb 2019  #4
Hmm...he is singling her out and goes out of his way to annoy her...pre-puberting boys do that to girls they really like...as in: Even negative attention is better than no attention.

I dunno...
Lyzko 20 | 6,334
4 Feb 2019  #5
Annoying the opposite sex is often merely a clumsy attempt at flirting. Cuts both ways:-)
Miloslaw 6 | 1,815
4 Feb 2019  #6
.pre-puberting boys do that to girls they really like

My thoughts exactly.....
OP eloise
4 Feb 2019  #7
Well I don't think throwing a box in front of you can be considered flirting. Or letting the door closing on my face instead of holding (he holds it for the other girls). He was just being mean and il mannered. Maybe he hates me for my ethnicity.
Lyzko 20 | 6,334
4 Feb 2019  #8
Well, what was in the box? Let's be practical here:-)

Regarding your "ethnicity", Poles are actually no more xenophobic towards Kosovars or Albanians than many other Europeans!
Miloslaw 6 | 1,815
4 Feb 2019  #9
Maybe he hates me for my ethnicity

I think you are being over sensitive here.
I go back to my original post,he may be lacking in social etiquette,but I think he likes you.
Lyzko 20 | 6,334
4 Feb 2019  #10
Language barriers too might play a role. As I've said, second-language speakers in dicey social situations can often use bluster and braggadocio to hide feelings of inadequacy, men in particular as part of the almighty image of being in control:-)
terri 1 | 1,617
5 Feb 2019  #11
If you feel that his behaviour is different to you than other people I would be very brave and face him. Stand in front of him and in your best voice say 'Do you have a problem with me? If not why do you behave like a prat towards me?' If this doesn't work tell your manager of his behaviour.


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