The "C" in Canadian stands for cantankerous.
Now everybody just back the hell off, so Aphro will post her trip review!
I, for one, am looking forward to it!
Jeez, people! Go argue with your loved ones, or something.
you crack me up:D. Here it is.
Polish window cleaning
I know it is mundane, or perhaps even a murderous work to some ( I know it is for me and a complete waste of time) I know nobody mentions it, because the windows have to be cleaned, washed and so on. Do you ever wonder who does it? Not Pixies for sure. I am not sure what my relationship to widnow cleaning is, but I try to avoid that particular activity by doing the most useless things in order to avoid the window cleaning. I think I have been under the radar of the Polish Commity Of Window Cleaners for some time now. I look outside and I see ALL the windows clean and spotless. I need to got to work, but……. I cannot be bothered too much with it, so instead I decided to write this.
I remember Flagless mentioning that his present motherland Tailand has been flooded with a number of arrogant Russian tourist. He must have never encountered Polish tourists, although some of them ( I have heard) travel to Thailand, but they pretend to be German in order not to be put together in one bag with the vodka drinking, gold chained around their neck, littering, loud mouthed Savic brothers. Poles think that they are better then Russians. If they only knew.
I spent a week on the Polish tour bus, after being told that it is/was/has been the most uncool way of travelling by all the people who were not going;). I have been told that I am lazy, that I don’t know how to use the internet. I was told that I lack imagination and for such a wordly woman like me it is not suitable to mention that I went on an organized trip. Well, too bad, because I did. One week on the bus in Greece and another one in the Greek family run hotel, far away from everything.
An explanation to Pip. O flew to Athen and only THEN I got on the bus:D
Pan Stasiu was a very keen tour “walker” (the one who always is the closest to the guide and listens to everything he/she has to say). I was like Pan Stasiu on tours when my parents dragged me on annual vacations, but I was a child at the time and unusually curious. I also had a nasty habit of checking the outfits and faces of the church goers every Sunday at that age, but that experience proved invaluable to the development of my observation skills. It is also true that those people never, ever did anything to me. I am sure they didn’t notice, since they were so pious. Recalling my nasty childhood habits I looked at Mr Stasiu and realized that he is at the age when the cycle of life is on the reverse. He also had to eat between the meals on the bus, like a little child. We did too, but he was the closest to the driver and got busted. The driver had a bad day, told the tour guy that Mr Stasiu is munching on something, Mr Stasiu said that he would finish whatever he was munching on. The tour guide started crying and we all forgot for a moment about the ancient sites. Drama is very present in Polish life and that is why Polish theatre and Polish actors are very good – or at least this is what they think. That also includes Polish actresses, but that is another story all together. On top of that we were in Greece, the ancient land of drama. I need to write a piece on Polish women drama, which I think I already did on this thread.
The longer I live the less I understand some people’s behaviour, so the stress is great at times. I try to cope with that stress when encountering craziness with “dressing people” into some funny characters in my little world. On this trip there was a:
TV 24 (for those who are not familiar- it is a commercial Polish TV station)- a lonely woman who had matched outfits, a camera and the need to be liked by everybody. She even complimented me on my white dress (which was a fashion disaster, but cheap) and had pigeon ex·cre·ment spots. Those I aquired on my way to Acropolis. Those pigeons seem to find me anywhere I go. Often times when at the museum I would see her camera sticking in front of my face. Strangely I cannot recall the make. Heavy makes up and blond bleached hair.
Azur Lady- she was on that plane. Loud, drunk, puking, wanted to force the door of the plane before it was cleared by the stewardess. BTW- it was the OLT stewardess. I think she was about 17 years old. I prayed that the Azur Lady would not end up with us on that bus. Well she didn’t, but others did to our amusement.
I think he was teaching something at Uni, his wife lost all the travel notes and would not shut up about it for two days. Not sure what her problem was since she was taking pictures left and right during the trip.
Cougar Mother and her son
We (and my travel companion) were actually pretty sure that they were lovers. It just fitted better into our twisted minds. Not to mention the fact that they behaved that way too.
The mother left for Poland in a see through frock, which she purchased abroad and I am sure that this is what she is still wearing today. She had crooked teeth, which she didn’t break after the unfortunate fall on the beautiful marble floor in the hotel. In my opinion she lacks class, because if you are a Pole and you are coming back from vacation abroad, you need to be altered in some way. BTW - Oedipus did not travel with them. Please, if you don’t know who he was, don’t check it on Wiki. No use.
The fallen couple
They, unlike the Cougar lady in a white seet hrough dress with crooked teeth had the most class of all the people we have met at the airport on out way back. She had a proper cast on her arm and very proper scratches on her back and legs. Her Bo was not visibly altered, but he was the unskilled driver of the scooter as we later found out. Well, who buys two weeks in the same hotel – that must have aroused their hunger and curiosity to leave the lobby at one point and check the area. They mentioned that they were not aware of the mountains and slippery roads. They scored the highest in our books.
Jet back dyed hair, high pants and shoe number 12 or so. Lots of energy but that was probably due to his snacking habits, which left the driver mad for days and the tour guide in tears. Socks, but no mustache. No surprises there.
The always hungry woman and her Spanish husband
She ate a lot and he had a Spanish feminine fan, probably picked up on another trip in Chinese One dollar store – Polish version. Very nice couple.
We all heard about them and upon my arrival to the hotel forgot about them probably due to the amount of ouzo consumed quickly at the bar. That was my last strong drink on that trip, because my travel companion could not tolerate my drinking and it was too hot for me to hide, or make trips alone to the bar.
The Greek lovers followed us wherever we went- meals, pool, bar and the beach. Often times they would present their torsos dressed in a white shirt, not dressed at all while at the beach. It was difficult to communicate with them since their English was basic and I only realized that when I needed to use a note pad to draw a picture of an olive tree. We have not tasted the sweetness of Greek men much to their dissapointment. You all have met Southern.
Some compare its whiteness to the ancient marble (a true passage in one of the guidebooks), but it is way softer and tastier then the mentioned rock.
A pile of old rocks
This is what the sock and sandal-wearing husband said to his wife upon visiting another ancient sites.
Mussaka Lady aka Cerberus
In my opinion she must have been related to Cerberus Dog, except for the fact that she was guarding food we were about to steal from the tables. We simply couldn’t, could we? All the cucumbers, tomatoes brushed gently by the sunrays of the Greek sun were only to be eaten under the guardful watch of the Mussaka Lady.
The pregnant Flower Child and her IT geeky husband
It appears that IT geeks CAN carry bags after all. The child is probably blessed because most of the sites we have visited were indeed holy.
We have not seen any, but we have heard that they are around and I am hoping that they are friendly to the ever ready for sex Greek waiters when the last woman from the Western and Eastern world boarders her plane back home.
She got so traumatized on the last trip abroad that she hardly spoke to anybody.
Mountains, the Sea, the mist, the fresh air, the Athenian pigeons, the Mad Greek Driver, Mussaka, olives, and olive trees, the persistence of the Greek lovers, the owner of a little hotel in Delphi, the old woman greeting us with “Yasu” and a smile, the French tourist jumping off the boat out into the see screaming: Bomb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
None or those who have not been on the trip with me.
That is all for now, because the remaining detail of my trip will only be known to me.
The Danish Party in Szczecin
Apparently the Danish have invaded Szczecin at one point.
The Danish husband- the most behaved member of the party (well, the wifey was around).
The Danish bloke residing in Thailand – maybe it was Flagless, but he looked way older. He was definitely attracted to breasts and very young women. No wonder he is in Thailand, although I am sure it is also for the beauty of nature and inexpensive frit golore.
The Well Dressed, Drunk from the beginning, Danish Bloke, the nicest of all the Danish blokes, blond, with the drunk smile plastered on his face for hours. Often left the pub, although I suggested from the beginning that he should have taken the sofa. Nevertheless he was a brave soul and almost lasted to the end of the party helping himself with a drink and entertaining me with some pretty interesting conversations, which I cannot recall in details due to the large amount of mixed drinks I have consumed myself that night.
The pregnant lady
Who, when spotted by the Well Dressed, Drunk from the beginning, Danish bloke was asked what had happen to her stomach. In reply she gently smiled and went for a cigarette. One got to admire the coolness of some Polish women. Danish sex education went down the drain at that point or perhaps the Well Dressed had a moment of Danish sense of humour brought out of him in a moment of temporary clarity.
The men who danced with the pole
A concrete one. A safe choice for those who have a strong fear of rejection.
Loser: Me. I misplaced my reading glasses.
Winners: the Pole dancing with the concrete pole.
The next day I heard somebody saying that dancing is good for you. That was a singer from the Greek band when I was attending the session of multicultural concert. The Polish Greek band was wayyyy better then the ones we have encountered in Greece. I am not sure why some young Greek men don’t want to participate in entertaing the tourist crowd. Only the rich, retired, wig wearing men would get the courage to step up and hold the buzuki, while striking the cords. My travel companion took millions of pics of men dancing in really short skirts, which matched the thicj white leggings and must have been a comfort in the 35 C temps.
That is all for now. I have not lied – all the characters are not imaginary – they all exist and I met them all. I cannot say that they enriched my life, because I would be dishonest, but they definitely made my life more interesting.
Now, back to reality and window cleaning. It has been almost two years since I arrived in Poland and I am beginning to fit in.
thicj white leggings
thick. yummy and cozy for some;) lol