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Mixed feelings after moving from Poland to England

grufferator 1 | -    
17 Apr 2018  #1
Hello all,

I'm originally from Eastern Europe. I moved with my wife to Poland 2 years ago, then moved to UK this year. The main reason why we decided to move was that we felt like outsiders. We worked in a foreign company. All the communication was in English and we did not manage to learn Polish. Learning Polish fluently and integrating into the society felt like an impossible task. We did find jobs quite easy in UK and the salaries and much higher than in Poland, but the quality of life did not improve. We did manage to save some money in these 3 months, but that's only due to the fact that we live in a very small shared flat.

Pros of living in UK:
1. Everyone speaks English
2. Easy to find a job
3. Free healthcare

Cons of living in UK:
1. Housing is expensive and the quality is crap
2. Public transport is expensive
3. Going out is expensive
4. There's garbage everywhere - on the streets, in the parks, near the houses, on bus stops
5. High crime rates
6. General feeling of insecurity when walking in the evenings
7. The green spaces are not integrated into the cities; there are block of flats or residential neighborhoods and there are parks with fences around
8. There's a general feeling of insecurity about this country's future

Did anyone have the same experience? Did you move back to Poland or did you stay in UK? Why?
mafketis 16 | 6,004    
17 Apr 2018  #2
Learning Polish fluently and integrating into the society felt like an impossible task

Do you feel integrated into UK society? According to the BBC the modern UK is simply a place where lots of people with nothing in common live near each other and the only common elements are empty, undefined slogans....

Who do you socialize with?

we did not manage to learn Polish

What kind of efforts did you make? Lots of people put in very... misdirected and inefficient efforts and then when it doesn't work right away they give up. I take it your first language isn't slavic (since most Slavic speakers learn without much effort) so that means Polish would be more difficult but it's very doable though being a couple is a little harder (since you're already each other's primary company).

The simple fact is that any kind of migration is traumatic and will at times lead to feelings of alienation and not fitting in. Lots of things in the media try to portray it as a simple process with no emotional burden but that's a lie. Just recognizing that you've chosen a difficult path that inherently comes with occasional feelings of regret and second thoughts and alienation can be a help in dealing with those feelings when they arise.

The idea of assimilation was a way of dealing with those negative aspects of migration as it gave those moving a long term goal to work for, but no one is supposed to assimilate now because what can you assimilate to in the UK? It's like trying to carry water in a basket.

In Poland at least there are things to assimilate to (or integrate with). It's not easy but ultimately is probably more psychologically healthy.
cms neuf - | 455    
17 Apr 2018  #3
When I was younger I moved back to U.K. after living in the US and found it quite difficult. It has three main problems- it is crowded and this properties are cramped, it is expensive and to get on in a career you often need to be in London.

I think for you one of the main problems is that you are married but you are living in a shared flat - that's not the way things should be! Find a way to fix that so you can properly start your married life and get some time to yourselves and other problems might also improve.

The other thing to do is focus on some of the things that are advantage about Britain - you can get quite quickly and cheaply to the seaside or to beautiful countryside or wonderful old towns. It has very good culture and in some things like music, museums, watching football, shopping etc it is the best place in Europe. I also think the people are great and can be very genuine and helpful.

Agree with most of your cons except the one about garbage - one thing I dislike about Poland is the huge litter problem, and Poles seem to think nothing of strewing the forests and beaches with their trash.

Asked to the sense of uncertainty about the future in Britain - that's not going to go away, in fact it's obviously going to get worse. Brexit is going to bring a lot of economic difficulties and it'll take decades for the divisions created by the process to heal.

Put your tin hat on now,- once the Americans wake up they will start to make this a discussion about Muslim migration, cucks and the mainstream media.
19 Apr 2018  #4

So you came from "Eastern Europe" to Poland, and then to the UK. So why are you writing English using American phraseology and spelling? You haven't learnt that in Europe. One of the forum's American trolls, perhaps? Sounds like Dirk.
Ziemowit 12 | 3,023    
19 Apr 2018  #5
American phraseology and spelling

While I agree he is a troll, I can't see any of the above.
19 Apr 2018  #6
"garbage" - British English rarely uses this, and not in conversation (the term would be "rubbish").
"neighborhoods" - American spelling. Classic.
"in UK", "to UK" - missing the definite article.

The post is written very fluently, like a moderately educated native-speaker. But that native speaker seems to be North American.
mafketis 16 | 6,004    
19 Apr 2018  #7
"in UK", "to UK" - missing the definite article.

Not American where it would always be 'the UK' (or casually "England")
Lyzko 17 | 4,917    
19 Apr 2018  #8

You did finally realize though that integrating into any society and learning the language are one and the same, am I right?
mafketis 16 | 6,004    
19 Apr 2018  #9
no, they're two separate things, language learning is only the first, necessary step to integration
Lyzko 17 | 4,917    
19 Apr 2018  #10
Nonetheless, it's clearly the most important! Maybe on the surface level, Poles, Germans, Swedes etc. seem to communicate "fluently" in English, once the novelty wears off (generally sooner rather than later in this man's experience), newbies LIVING, and not just visiting, abroad, will eventually thank their lucky stars that they made an effort to learn the target language.

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