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Advice on child support (Irish with my Polish husband)


RevokeNice 15 | 1,859
27 Aug 2013 #91
Yes, the father should pony up and pay for the occasional treat. Swimming lessons are hardly a luxury - they could save the childs life. Trust me, most kids dont enjoy their lessons too much. Especially in winter. You also forget to factor in clothing - decent clothing in Poland is more expensive than here. And 8 year olds grow out of clothes real fast. They also need to eat. A lot. Keep factoring in incidental expenses and fifty euro a week is not an awful lot of child support to be paying out. Bringing up a young boy by yourself and holding down a job is far from easy. Its not like she will be out living the high life on an extra 50 Europeans.

Food, school materials, transport, new football boots, he grows out of the runners you bought last year, new winter jacket, swimming lessons, school trip, friends birthday party, Christmas, his birthday, the occasional trip out, begging you for a new toy etc etc.

Kids aint cheap.

The cost of living in Ireland is considerably higher than either Poland or Britain, there is high unemployment and child care facilities/welfare payments are not easily come by.The wages in Ireland do not cover the cost of living in many cases and there is not much of a safety net,

Come off it. Welfare in Ireland is hard to get - if you were previously self employed! No moolah for you. Apart from that, its very high. The OP can claim for three kids. Thats 390 euro per month in child benefit. Both are working part time, so they can apply for a top up via jobseekers. Theres another 150-200 euro per week. If they are renting, then they are qualified to apply for rent allowance. Family income support is also available, if they are still struggling.

They are far from starving.

The op and her husband should be looking to avail of some part time fas or training course to help upskill. I was looking at the ones available in my local fas centre and the learn mandarin one tickled me fancy. You have to be on some sort of benefit to qualify, unfortunately, but there are some decent courses out there for folk such as themselves.

Contraception is not freely available in ireland

News to me. They arent?
kaz200972 2 | 229
27 Aug 2013 #92
Apparently there is a fine line between who does and who does not get help, the OP mentions losing her benefits when she married? Maybe if they can sort out the payments especially the back child benefit they will be able to significantly increase their payments to the child in Poland.

News to me. They arent?

Apparently it can still be tricky in rural areas. Contraception isn't 100% reliable even when you can get it!

And this is why I see no reason to be sympathetic towards him. He's left his child behind, he rubbed his new wife in his ex's face, he can't even be bothered to pay a trivial amount by Western standards - the guy is clearly not innocent here.

Hardly a rational or logical statement? You think he has done all these things and they do appear insensitive but you don't know what really happened and why, so surely you should advise or comment with some caution??? The ex wife does not appear entirely innocent but you don't criticise her??

The OP is guilty of naivety, nothing else.

That hasn't stopped you and Dominic B bullying her in a most vile way, suggesting she was being deliberately mean to the child, generally carrying on as if you were Francis Galton etc.. but hey if it makes you feel an adequate man no doubt you'll justify it!!

No doubt you'll also feel free to continue your libel of decent people in Britain, who work far harder than you boast about doing. Again stops you feeling inadequate does it?
RevokeNice 15 | 1,859
27 Aug 2013 #93
Maybe if they can sort out the payments especially the back child benefit they will be able to significantly increase their payments to the child in Poland.

The only way they will cut your freebies off is if you have married someone with sizeable assets. There are an awful lot of holes in the ops tale. Welfare here is very high and relatively easy to access. Seriously, if you are ever in Dublin walk by a welfare shop. Its like a united nations meeting. Whoever is telling you that welfare is low in this international soup kitchen, is a liar.

The unemployed married couple, who take home €1,763 a week, have four children and live in Dublin. They are originally from Bosnia. Labour Senator Jimmy Harte called for a cap on the amount of welfare payments a family can receive - irishexaminer.com/ireland/call-for-welfare-pay-cap-as- couple-claim-90k-a-year-168808.html

Apparently it can still be tricky in rural areas. Contraception isn't 100% reliable even when you can get it!

I live here. No apparently about it - contraception is readily available to all. You were right about abortion though.
kaz200972 2 | 229
27 Aug 2013 #94
The only way they will cut your freebies off is if you have married someone with sizeable assets.

Well hopefully they can sort themselves out after reading this and up the payments to the other child?
I don't know exactly why the OP gets nothing? I tend to think if they were real baddies they'd be over here because the CSA only chases a few show cases for payment

The unemployed married couple, who take home €1,763 a week

That is unbelievable!!!!! It's criminal, my mum and dad brought up 6 kids on no more than their wages and the standard child benefit! and they had my two grand mother's to support too!!

I've done the same myself with 6 kids, child benefit the only handout!
Don't get me wrong, I would never see someone starve but that's not right.
RevokeNice 15 | 1,859
27 Aug 2013 #95
Don't get me wrong, I would never see someone starve but that's not right.

Tip of the iceberg. So whoever told you that welfare here is meagre and hard to access is a damn fool or a liar. Perhaps both. Wordfrom the wise, if an iIrish person is screaming poverty, then he or she is probably loaded. Or a farmer. ;)
smurf 39 | 1,981
27 Aug 2013 #96
The unemployed married couple

Article is almost 2 years old, any updates on it?
RevokeNice 15 | 1,859
27 Aug 2013 #97
I am not a journalist. I suspect that the parasites are still claiming every freebie going.
smurf 39 | 1,981
27 Aug 2013 #98
I am not a journalist

Surely they have been in court about this?
RevokeNice 15 | 1,859
27 Aug 2013 #99
Charged with what exactly? They have committed no crime.
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,872
27 Aug 2013 #100
I've done the same myself with 6 kids, child benefit the only handout!

seriously kaz do you not know about child tax credits and working family tax credits?
you've been robbed!!
RevokeNice 15 | 1,859
27 Aug 2013 #101
Her and the OP. If its available you might as well claim it. Everyone else seems to be.
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,872
27 Aug 2013 #102
well quite, also it is not actually possible for one wage earner to manage without it, even if they would like to.
kaz200972 2 | 229
27 Aug 2013 #103
seriously kaz do you not know about child tax credits and working family tax credits?
you've been robbed!!

Yes I do know about them, the ex claimed them for the twins until last week. Fatboy couldn't be arsed to work! Quite frankly I doubt I'd be eligible now.

My first 4 children were all born in the early/mid 80's and the criteria for help was very strict until about 2003 when tax credits came in, three of them were at medical school by then, I was classed as earning too much for the other 3 and anyway mum and sister helped with child care so it wouldn't have been exactly ethical to claim the Child Care credits. I also spent time in India and Canada so no help there,

I'm old for PF (LOL), I had the first four very young but I'm still 50 soon!
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,872
27 Aug 2013 #104
not far behind you Kaz....
you must be proud of them all.
kaz200972 2 | 229
27 Aug 2013 #105
T

not far behind you Kaz....
you must be proud of them all.

Glad I'm not the only one!!!!
Yeah I am proud of them especially my only girl who has had to cope with 5 brothers!!! poor thing.
At least I had sisters as well as brothers growing up!
McLovin
27 Aug 2013 #106
The husband has made the same mistake as 100's of poles he is working for crap money in ireland has not set the world on fire basically has a lower quality of life than the average polish family cost of living wise but when he visits he likes to pretend he is a big shot earning mega money this gets back to the first wife as poles love to gossip non stop and the first wife thinks cheeky barsteward hes earning 6000/7000/8000pln a month and he sends me 150

the O/P needs to understand the child is your husbands responsibility would you be content if when he leaves you he gives you 35euro a month per child tell your husband to pay 1000pln a month 60ish euro a week is still low when my dad was paying child support in the 80's it was around £50 a week tell him to get a better job or get your lazy ass to work full time instead of 19 hours a week what is that 4 hours a day you are pathetic and deserve each other


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