Tips/suggestions/do's and don't of going to Poland....?

it is the lady who just joined us

this gives you an ideal opportunity to practice some of your chat up lines so that when you
come to Poland in a year or two you will be unstoppable

ask her if N Dubz are better than Justin Beiber

.....quick she is getting away

They're both as bad as each over!

don't tell me, tell her

good grief man, if you are going to come all the way to Poland and choke like this in front of the ladies
you would be better off staying in Ilford or whatever Greater London suburb you hail from

you have a golden opportunity to impress a chick

ok, don't want to dazzle her with your conversation skills... no problem

try a dance move... hit it

Not from a suburb mate I'm a city lad!

And all I know is Hi, how are you? What's your name? Not exactly chat-up line material is it? :P

Oh, I dont know, you have a fine pair of flippers.

" mash pyinkni oshee ", Best way to greet a Doorman in Poland. ;)

or tell a lass she has gorgeous eyes... :)

ah don't worry

we have up to two years to coach you

you will be unstoppable once you get here

armed with a good working knowledge of the hits of Shakin Stevens, Smokie and ELO (which were incredibly popular in Poland by the way)
and flawless Polish, you really will turn heads over here

you can brush up your dancing too, you could do that Michael Jackson move, you know the one where he looks like he is walking on the moon as opposed to the one where he has the overdose

Erm, Id be carefull there, 05 a Polish version of "I am the one and only" seemed to be playing everywhere.....

I have heard it and I wrote to the war crimes tribunal just in case they could do something about it but they never got back to me

it really was one of the few times I have said the words 'worse than Hitler' and really meant it

What makes the memory worse for me is the last time I heard it it was nearly drowning out the Hejnal.......god,what Id have given for a turk archer in what ever studio that crime was recorded in................mind you, "we" did foist the anodine Beatles on the world so.......( I suppose floyd and the stones cancel out the last bit though...)

er, where were we?
the big trick for the OP is mastering that Polish sound, the cat choking up a large fur ball sound.....so he can say " Koohan" and all its varients :)

Don`t expect here any reasonable answers , this place is designed as a trolling place for english language teachers, who are based in Poland .They are mainly jobless people and spend all day trolling here with posters like you

let's not make more out of this then what it is, now.
Instead of doing a little googling, and a little reading, the OP wants us to lay it all out for him
... so we're having some fun here.

Dok£adnie! :) OP. that means exactly.

When you go into a supermarket head for the check out till, find the longest line and make a few grunting noises to the person at the end of the queue, now go do your shopping and when you have finished head back to the line and go to the front of the queue, if anyone questions you, just tell them that the person you grunted at was holding your place in line, if the original person you grunted at, has gone through the checkout, just point and shout at the person who is now at the checkout and tell them that he/she should have been informed by the original person you grunted at. It will then descend into chaos, welcome to life in Poland.

Hythorn - you are pathetic and don`t believe anything what Harry says . You are not posting anything valuable .

That means absolutely nothing to me, I don't want to be able t o write Polish. Which means I learn everything by sounds.

Dzien Dobry = Gin Dobry
Dobry Wiezor = Dobree V Echor

Przepraszam = Shep-ra-Sham

That's how I learn, sounds exact same as how you would hear it, I just can't learn by looking at the word, which I should, but... hmm

the good thing about Polish is once you learn to read in Polish
it is an absolute doddle

words are written as they are said

none of this chough, cough, trough, though, through multiple vowel sounds malarkey

That is interesting. Aren`t you able to pronounce p before sh? Pshe-pra-sham.

do kwad nye

Is there some reason why you can't learn a little Polish where you are now, either from a book or on the internet? There are lots of resources available these days.

I am learning, I have some programmes on the PC...

WIth-in a year I want to be able to do simple sentances..

Today I will go to the gym
I think this place is good, BECAUSE it smells nice

Just simple things :)

Go to a bookstore and buy Polish in 4 Weeks. Don't be intimidated by the amount of vocabulary in each lesson. Just take it at your own pace. The CD that comes with the book will help you with pronunciation.

Merged: Co u Pana/Pani slychac....

Today I said to a female

So ahh oo Pani, Seweer hachh ( Co a u Pani slyhach )

Would you be able to understand this?

It was supposed to be

So oo Pani seweer hachh

but for some reason I said " Ahh oo " instead of just " oo "

good grief

wash out your sailor's mouth, this is a public forum

you are lucky you did not get a kick in the bollocks

who has been teaching you Polish?
do they have Tourette's syndrome?

Everything I have learnt so far, sentences/phrases have all been pronounced CORRECTLY, and have been understood very easily by Polish people themselves. Obviously when I type out how I SAY it, it doesn't look correct, that's just how I pronounce them, and as previously said, no Polish person has been confused by anything I've said.

I'm simply asking if you would understand what " Co a u Pani slyhach " means. It's an incorrect phrase, said by me, and the lady didn't understand.....

You do realize that you just contradicted yourself, don't you?

You lot are hilarious.

I've been living here as a student for three months now in Krakow. It's just like any other small city. I'm not a huge fan of clubs or the opera so I'm quickly running out of things to do. The OP is attempting to make good use of a resource. 'A little googling and a little reading' are probably what brought him here. Guides like Frommer's are hardly useful for people who aren't into the usual touristy crap. I think the best thing Krakow has to offer is its people. I don't mean native Krakovians, I mean Poles from other regions who have moved to Krakow. They tend to be better spoken and are generally more personable. Native Krakovians are singular in that they seem dejected a lot of the time but do their damnedest to have a good time after work. It's almost like someone's described to them how you're supposed to have a good time, but they've never seen/experienced it...like they're acting it out...It's tough to articulate. Maybe I'm imagining things, or just full of it...or maybe I've made one too many trips to Absynt XD

PS: I would be careful about wearing certain colors associated with football teams in certain neighborhoods. Other than that, avoid the skinheads (especially on trams, because there's no place to run - I actually saw 1 guy get beat up on a tram). The beggars are the most laid back I've seen anywhere in the world. They make almost no effort. Anything within or around the Main Square is likely overpriced and/or sub-standard. If you're short on funds, Milk Bars are the way to go (around 2zl for soup and 4-8 for most dishes). You can also try the cafeteria in the library (10 zl for soup + dish of the day) In the old town, check out the market in Hala Targowa. If you're out late, better than the kebab shops is Pizza or pierogi on the northwest corner of the square or Sausage from the van in Hala Targowa (8zl). When taking a taxi, try sticking to Radio taxis. Avoid the obvious bar/hotel scams. Kazimierz also has it's own little market square for produce etc. I'm not a huge fan of Namaxa's Zapiekankas, though. Haha I'm not sure how much of this will be of any use to you...so I'll stop now.