Tips/suggestions/do's and don't of going to Poland....?

So I made a thread the other day, with several (90% useless troll answers). I simply would like to know if anyone can offer me some tips/suggestions for a first timer going to Poland? Any etiquette I should adopt with the ladies/guys? Any social rules, like I must wear certain clothes because it's offensive or whatever....?

Just general things please :)

persistant fellow aren't you?

in another thread you mentioned coming to Poland in a few years time

you certainly believe in forward planning don't you?
not a young man for leaving things to chance I can see

there are bank robberies planned with far less attention to detail than your journey to Poland

get a copy of the Rough Guide to Poland, read it and then buy a ticket

you are not going to get murdered if you come to Poland, you will not be the victim of racist attacks

come on, level with me, tell your Uncle Hythorn, what is your agenda here?
you stated that you were planning a visit in a few years times
do you plan everything with this much care and attention?

A trip to the shops could take you days of prior logistic planning otherwise
as for a weekend trip to the seaside, it could be preceded by weeks of preparation

No social rules whatsoever.

Aah, one rule, though. When a Pole invites you to a stork hunt, don`t turn it down - he might get really pissed off.


No, you don`t need to wear anything. Most cities and towns in Poland are nudist-friendly.


Yes. Never insert a finger without prior asking for permission. Otherwise, you might lose it.


Upon coming to Poland, hire a good donkey for transport. Choose one that is clean and the owner is sober.


What are you talking about?

It's not really planning though is it. I'm just asking general questions, if I was planning I'd be searching costs/airlines/somewhere to stay, I'm very spontaneous and would probably end up doing that last minute, even if I should have done it months ago... :P

EDIT - I'm going to Poland 100% in 1-2 years, that's my agenda. No, I'm not going for woman. I'm not a stupid guy, I don't know any Polish, how an earth can I expect to get with a Polish girl, it's probably impossible unless she can speak some English.

Buy a small Polish phrase book. Practice some common phrases a few times. That is unless you don't mind making a fool of yourself, with improper pronunciation...

Can you give an example of some phrases, which must be pronounced a certain way, otherwise I'll sound like a idiot.. just some examples :)?

great idea

come on everyone, let's teach the lad a new phrase every day and in the one to two years until he comes to Poland, he will be fluent

rather than give the impression that I am making fun of the young tyke, I would like to start his online education

dziendobry
pronounced gin 'as in mother's ruin' - dobry

it means hello, literally good morning but can be used at any time of the day or night to any social group

at this rate we ought to have you being able to discuss the US foreign intervention policy in the 1970s in fluent Polish by some time in the spring

OK. kurwa. it's pronounced as it looks, except the w is a v. Actually it's more like koor-va. it means hello. :). You'll hear it every day.

Oh, don't carelessly drop bread. It's ok to feed it to the birds on occasion but, even then, expect the odd disapproving look from a mohair beret faithful ;) Bread is like gold for many people here.

Do be sure not to hold doors open for people as it's not appreciated 90% of the time.

Wow, interesting. Any other do's and don't in terms of being polite and respectful, which in London I might not be used to?

now in fairness Scottie and Seanus were taking the p!ss out of you

as you clearly know it all, f*ck off and play with your train set

Train set? Lmao? How old are you may I ask? Very childish troll, do you not have work/commitments or something constructive to do other than troll?

And I didn't really listen, I'm just being polite, I'm all for male shivery. I'm probably more of a man than you are, I'm basing that on how you come across on this forum. Good day to you sir.

This made me laugh. Did you mean chivalry? Good luck learning Polish. Why don't you just catch a cheap flight to Poland and spend a weekend here before you exhaust all your energy asking questions for the next two years?

he probably meant shivery

that is when you stand outside in the cold opening doors for people

shivery is how Sir Walter Raleigh felt when he put the wet cloak back on.

Another tip would be to share candid observations only with trusted confidantes/friends. Most Poles tend not to take well to criticism one iota (let's call it an underdeveloped sense of constructive criticism) so your negative experience sharing will not go down well with the majority here. There are some who will give you the time of day but many just don't want to know.

That would be a very unnecessary and American government thing to do. I'd like to think that I don't cause that kind of harm ;)

In Poland, you shouldn't be too showy in most places. Many Poles tend not to like it. I mean loud and attention seeking.

I don't mind :)

I like to experience new things, I can create fun for myself. Even in a room, with nothing in it, and my hands tied up!

Thanks for the advice

not another story about being in a turkish prison...

when will they learn

Lol

You should also be very careful with quite a few women. They'll trip you up and catch you out at the first occasion they can get. There's a lot of dissatisfaction here amongst many, even the young ones. So don't get too close.

are you advocating that the young lad bat for the other team?

Some Poles also tend to value humility.

He might already do that, hythorn ;)

we have been joined by a lady

moderate the language lads...

good evening miss

psst intrigue, you are in with a chance

tell her she looks nice

Trip you up and catch you out?

Suggesting?

And I definitely don't bat for the other side!

don't tell us, f stop is online

go on, tell her she looks nice

LOL.. old, fat and ugly, that's the image I want you to have of me in your minds.

thank goodness you saw the funny side

I just re-read my post and hoped that you would not find it creepy

we are just having fun with the young pup

over to you Intrigue... ask her if she likes Shakin Stevens

Sorry who is F stop?

Do show gratitude for their excellent hospitality. Many Poles make for great hosts and they really go out of their way to make you feel like a king at the table.