PF - The Omnibus Edition

Because it is undoubtedly the best read on these forums of late. Even topped Bubawoo's latest rant, and that was a good one.

Keep up the good work, Please!

Too kind Shawn_H. But you damn me with faint praise. The quality of posting on here lately is such that if I had written "Now please wash your hands" I would have a fighting chance of your accolade LOL

Some of the infighting is getting tedious. What would Huegel have made of it all? Now there was a true talent.

A comedian and a giver of sage advice!


Half of it, I never got.... But that which I got was excellent material.

it is an understatement. I spend more of my free time watching TV these days than being of PF.

I've developed a liking for gardening.

ah....i've got to the middle...uufff... i need one more glass of wine to finish reading it.....

;)

but seriously, great job pie....always an awesome entertainment... keep on going :)

Shorthand Edition

Polson loves Jova
Easy_Terran hates Bubba
Bubba hates Easy_Terran's beard
Noimmigration hates everybody
RockyMason hates himself
Noone likes Bartolome (according to Bartolome)
Ranj has returned
Osiol is writing a diary
Harry and Carol aren't getting on very well
Burma is flooded
China has collapsed
Petrol is now more expensive than Crystal Champagne
Some people have appalling taste in music
Szarlotka has received a proposal of marriage from someone in Ghana
Seanus is being sensible and staying on topic

That's it really.

Not bad for a mid-week recap. Have another Guinness Szar.

Just a half at this time of day. Na Zdrowie

I gather you didn't take the offer LOL

Too right. Mind you it would have big o' me to have said Yes <groan>

From Our War Correspondent, Lifo Debauchery

A hearty welcome to you all from the front line of the War on Reason. As I speak, the situation here on PF goes from bad to worse. There are insults flying, vitriolic personal attacks are on the increase and the casualty rate is climbing. It is hard to see from this fox hole just who is fighting who anymore. The original spat began with the Poles invading the UK. The English then retaliated by buying vast portfolios of prime Polish real estate. The fighting at that point was vicious but out in the open. Collateral damage to the Yanks, Canucks and Aussies was unheard of. It was a good, clean and bloody fight. The English stopped all hostilities for afternoon tea whilst the Poles refused to fight after 6pm as they had parties to go to. At this point, the Muslim world were staying out of the battle.

Now things are very different. At the last count there were forty seven different warring factions. It is now a global conflict and the fighting has become dirty. People are not awaiting their turn to attack, some of the blows have been well below the belt and sectarian violence has increased.

Things have deteriorated to such an extent that some of my fellow war correspondents have checked out of the smoking ruin once known as the Downtown Hilton and fled across the border to the relative safety of the Quantum Physics Forum where they are reported to be safe but confused and bored. It’s only the die hards amongst us who care to remain in these sub human conditions – i.e. no fun, little chance of any love interest and the last barrel of Guinness running dry last Tuesday. But despite all of this we can assure our reader that we shall continue to stay here in this God forsaken hole to report on developments until the bitter end. (At which point there will be only lager left so sod that for a game of soldiers)

he, he.mine is nice a cosy with insents, irish music and some foreign movies I haven't seen and missed when I was a fully developed PF contributor.

I am reporting that there is life after all and it is a great one.

I just need to pull a flat screet into my fox hole and do some painting job, perhpas orange and lime green.

As for the supplies I still have some Canadian whiskey I bough in the USA and some second quality Vodka.

I am running out of frozen peroigies though, so if anybody has some extra supply, please PM me and we can arrange the delivery for a good compensation.

I also managed to turn to some interesting literature, mainly hosrocopes and I even bought a diary yesterday in order to keep sane. I have plans to write a book about somethig. I am not sure what the topic will be but surely the desire is there to start with.

I also adopted a dog for a few days, so he can drag me out of the house and this way I will be pretty convinced that there is more to the world than PF.

Actually I have been outside and the world in my neck of the woods is pretty clam and peaceful.

I am running out of coffee, so it means a trip to Timmies or Starbucks is in a near future.

Goobye for now. I heard that the spring is finally here. need to check it out:)

There are some bright spots on this forum. Take for example Krzystof. Galliantly providing politically unbiased, bully-free translations and true insights into life in the country of Poland. Pity the other fine folks who have taken to the hills (Ella comes to mind...)


Waiting for the wheel to turn, so to speak...


..and mine is filled with a honey-do list 4 miles long.... I moved an entire Yard of top-soil on Saturday, and didn't consume enough liquid muscle relaxer to do the job properly. There is always painting to do in this old house, and a special interest project for the back yard awaiting...


with the world food shortage going on, we have decided to hoard them until the price is high enough to pay off our mortgage...


I have resorted to erasing those sudoku's done in pencil, so I can re-do them...


I see your therapy is progressing well - note: timmies in front of starbucks...

True. A gentleman and a scholar

I read the news today oh, boy
Four thousand Poles in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the Poles are rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many Poles
It takes to fill the Albert Hall

It’s all true I tell you. Szarlotka was in Blackburn recently (someone has to do it) and in the supermarket he had a sense of Warsaw déjà vu. They’ve probably gone home since then for economic reasons but it was a strange experience nevertheless. Imagine going home to Wroclaw to tell the folks about the architectural delights of Blackburn. What has this got to do with the Omnibus Edition we hear you cry. Not a lot, nil, zilch, bugger all in fact. It’s just that there is little new to write about really.

Poland is now officially a bastion of Western Europe, given that they came joint last in the Eurovision Song Contest with the bad men of Europe, Germany and the UK. No votes from Russia we noted. Never mind, just makes loads of money and put up with being disliked. You know it’s going to rile those other states. The only other problem is that you’re going to have to learn to queue properly now.

Someone did a poll on which countries people are going to support in Euro 2008. Whay is there not more support for Germany? Half of their team are Polish after all. I think the Szarlotkas are going to support Poland (to keep the missus happy) and then Spain (to keep Fernando Torres happy so he doesn’t take the wheelbarrows full of Roubles from Chelski).

Apparently no one wants the Russians to build their new gas pipeline under the Baltic for environmental reasons. Seems a bit strage to us given the estimated number of lost Russian nuclear submarines out there.

Just a shortie this week as Szarlotka has to get some sleep so he can get up early to go to Blackburn again. They’ll be giving him a frequent visitor’s loyalty card next.

So not much happened over my last week of sleep-posting on PF?

Did anyone else just have to sing the first part of your omnibus I wonder hehe...

Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my thread,..

Adieu

Who's Noone ? I didn't notice any signs of liking me from her/his/its side.

szarlotka, it's monday....

So it is. Doesn't time fly when you're having fun. The last time I saw anything as stale as the Omnibus Edition I inadvertently ate it and had food poisoning for a week. Which is a polite way of saying that I think the Omnibus (Ok me) has become jaded and distinctly non amusing. I have therefore hung up my pen.......

Hence the closed down bar pic

Well, it's been an absolutely fascinating fortnight... I mean week.

People have been doing stuff right, left and centre. Strangely, although perhaps I shoudl say expectedly, whether it has been right, centre or left, most people think they're right, even if... I'm drifting again.

Polishgirltx has lost her senses and wants to become polishgirlclydeside. Ranj posted a picture of herself with the next president of the USA. I failed to keep a diary. Szarlotka forgot to do an Omnibus, so I'm stepping in clumsily with all hooves blazing.

There was a really nice chap who joined. What was his name? I can't remember. Anyway, I gave him his own intro thread, but he was content just to call everyone a gay 4ft Guatemalan, even if they were the beautiful, sexy, sophisticated Polish woman that he seemed to rate so highly. He was last seen with the word SUSPENDED next to his name.

But lets not dwell on negativity.

Apparently Poland's national side lost a football match. I don't understand these things, but it's not like some tournaments, as far as I know, where it's a knockout (ooh! I could wrestle an action man / crush a grape / take on a mighty donkey in a battle of wits... oh no! That's me). Football ain't my cup of tea anyway.

Football is not a cup of tea.

If it was, would they have to refill each time the cup got kicked? I don't know. Let's gather a commitee to assign a team of researchers.

Anyway, Bratwurst Boy and £ukasz had a battle of pathetic anti-Polish / anti-German jokes, and poor little £ukasz feels a bit hard-done-by because, being the slightly more scathing with his favourite German bondage pics, more of his posts got deleted. Big aaaaahh!

PolskaDoll was here. She was moderating. It's just that nobody noticed she was around. Someone called fireif... I dunno. Read his thread. I didn't, and I even posted on it! And if you want to discuss a Gay Pride rally in Warsaw, you have to tell Seanus your Pink Floyd Top 10.

That's it from me. I need another beer.

Goodnight and God bless!

late extra: Maybe not as witty as the usual Obnimus, but I did do it at a second's notice and after a bottle and a half of beer that I'm a bit hesitant to tell you, weren't Polish.

More so....

It's like guarding the Holy Grail mate. You've got the job until Indiana turns up with the villain to relieve you. Best get some more beers in quickly

£ukasz gets suspended. Osioł may be next

OK but I'm very, very thirsty now......The coffee cup on my desk is looking like a beer glass, the stapler is resembling a beer bottle and the office cleaners has just become a buxom barmaid. Help I'm hallucinating

Awwww you missed me out <not that I mind really, yes really > and <really I don't mind> but I did come back as Lir <formerly known as Lady in red> there was a prize for spotting me in my new guise but you've lost out on winning it now osiol <however you weren't the first to notice I came back again>

Hehehehehe ! Nice to be back, just like old times, bet ya all missed my great sense of humour <joke>

:)

Of course we did. Mind you I wasn't fooled by the name change. Oh no, sussed you from the beginning. Well after I estbalished that you were not the God of the Sea from Irish mythology that is.

Good. Does that mean you will now remember me for next weeks Omnibus ? I want my ten minutes of fame ! < Well for next week anyways :)

Wasn't God male ? Cos I'm a female but then of course I expect when the wise men wrote their scriptures they got it all wrong and just made up the fact that God was male. God was probably female and Polish too boot as well cos everyone knows Polish females know it all and that's like God isn't it ?

Nice to be back and to see all the old regulars <meaning old in membership and not in years before I get into trouble and get left out of the Omnibus again <g>

:))

I have given up the Omnibus..... but as one last favour here is my final, ultimate PF Omnibus Edition.

Breaking News

We interrupt the end of Szarlotka's literary career party to bring you some outstanding news from the Forum. Word has reached us of the return of the legendary, charming, elegant, intelligent and drop dead gorgeous Lady-in-Red. In a Mata Hari style of cunning planning she has returned as Lir. The deception almost worked and, indeed, did fool some of the regulars on PF. The world is now back in equilibrium once more.

I ask you all to charge your glasses and drink a toast to LIR and the return of Szarlotka to humbler duties.

Hic

Sorry. I forgot. I did notice you when you returned though.


My glass has not just been charged, but also sentenced.


Cheers to you too. Try not to leave me at the typewriter next time. These hooves are awfully noisy.