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PF - The Omnibus Edition


OP szarlotka 8 | 2,209
26 Mar 2008 #121
Thank you all for the kind comments. Honesty forces me to admit that most of the credit for last night's post should be given to Mr Arthur Guinness.

Life and Guinness - the only stimulants a man needs.

Szarlotka has very bad man flu this week and is not up to writing the Omnibus Edition. Normal service may be resumed next week. Or there again it may not.
Daisy 3 | 1,227
2 Apr 2008 #122
Szarlotka has very bad man flu this week and is not up to writing the Omnibus Edition. Normal service may be resumed next week. Or there again it may not.

Talk about getting a woman excited then not being able to deliver

this is the first theing I opened when I logged on to PF
OP szarlotka 8 | 2,209
2 Apr 2008 #123
Talk about getting a woman excited then not being able to deliver

Not again......

Woohoo - we've been given the Order of the Sticky.

Who cares if Szarlotka lost a few posts from the spring clean of the OT Lounge.

Stickiness rules...

I feel inspired to writes some more inane dross now.
Shawn_H
6 Apr 2008 #124
I feel inspired to writes some more inane dross now.

Wait for it.....

It's only Sunday.
OP szarlotka 8 | 2,209
6 Apr 2008 #125
It's only Sunday.

Yes but Monday is taken up mainly by a flight to Rio Shawn H. No Wifi on BA. No luggage either.
Shawn_H
6 Apr 2008 #126
No luggage either

Only a Boykini? A man-hammock?
OP szarlotka 8 | 2,209
6 Apr 2008 #127
All together now.... "Thongs for the memories"

Just what is happening on here? You go away for a few days and come back to a different dimension. Carrying on the astrophysical analogy, the stars have disappeared. No more doggie five star, just doggie 5,013 posts. Were stars felt to be divisive? IS PF morphing into an English primary school where there are no winners for the Egg and Spoon Race but everybody gets the same prize just for turning up, even if they are lapped by Mr Jones with an artificial leg and Jones Minor who had an attention deficit attack on lap two and wandered off to feed the horses for a while? The badge of honour has gone to be replaced by a deflating numeric count that hides the true effort of the members concerned.

Additionally, there are other disturbing changes happening. It’s becoming apparent that PF is undergoing an equivalent slow but inexorable process similar to that presented by Continental Drift. In our case we have Member Drift. People have been presented with the chance to vote for their favourite member (Ed – I’d vote for my left leg) in a poll created by Head of Prefects aka Doggie G. Not content with that he has asked members to state how they feel they are perceived by others on PF. Already camps are emerging. We suspect there are sub forums growing on the Internet where campaigns are planned, scurrilous rumours are started and where smilies are permitted. Who will win the race to be top dog (no preference inferred)? Apparently the winner will be announced next weekend by the head of the PF Electoral Commission, Seanus. This is the first time a sheep has held such a prestigious post. We are informed that he has impeccable integrity and has no ties to the Bush Family or Mr Mugabe. Time will tell.

Anyway, that’s enough of the whinging Pom for now. Let us turn our attention to the pick of the week’s user activity – that’s activity on the Forum of course. Some of the things off Forum seem a trifle distasteful.

A Picture Paints a Thousand Words

Arien has started a new post your most ridiculous picture ever taken thread and some of the members are obliging in enthusiastic style. No real shockers yet but we note that Kemaleon appears to be sponsored by a leading hair gel manufacturer. This could start a trend in sponsorship. G could be sponsored by Winalot. Szarlotka could be sponsored by Birds Custard. In these hard times any additional source of revenue is most welcome. PolskaDoll has emerged from the shadowy text based world to reveal that she is really Vicki Pollard. Nice try PD but the real Vicki couldn’t string two words together and we’ve seen Mods that can put whole sentences together.

Dimensionally Challenged part 2

Kemaleon has started a new three word Bed Time Story. Apart from the obvious numeric difference how does this in fact vary from the old five word story? Is it more challenging to be more precise or is it lazier to type three words rather than five. Also, how does this compare viz a viz the English and Polish Word Association threads. If we get a wizard idea where do we post now? Maybe it’s because the whole off topic lounge was purged and the old threads have not yet reappeared. Of course this thread survived the purge. (Ed – don’t get smug smarty pants, it didn’t have to be Shakespeare like to beat off the opposition and you still have a long way to go). Nice to see our efforts are appreciated by management.

Beijing – to go or stay

A lively debate has been carried on as to whether Poland should boycott the Olympics. Of course this was widened to include a lot more countries than just Poland. The general consensus seems to be that China should be given a bit of a bloody nose over it’s treatment of the Tibetans, and indeed all dissenting voices within China. The sport is above politics counter argument has also been aired. Our view is that the boycott threat should be used. The people of Tibet (and of Nepal and Bhutan too come to it) are amongst the kindest and gentlest people on this planet in our (OK my) opinion. It’s a complete freaking disgrace the way in which they have been treated by Beijing over many, many years. Stuff the Reds – that’s China not Liverpool FC of course.

The Great Over Washed.

Wroclaw has promoted a discussion on our personal hygiene. It would appear that the majority of us shower in the mornings. Some of us take two showers a day and some prefer to take a bath, particularly on cold winter’s evenings. This reminds us of the numerous water and power shortages in the pre Maggie Thatcher bash the striking hoards days when we were encouraged to save water. The slogan doing the rounds was ‘Save water – shower with a friend’. Good days those. We intend to start a new thread asking which PF member you would want to shower with to reduce our Carbon Footprint. Trivial thread we know but it could be illuminating.

That’s all we could find of general interest this week folks. Of course the immigration debate rages on and on with the usual mixture of informed argument and nonsensical ranting. No change there then. We yearn for the simple style of facts, conclusions and recommendations arguments but sadly little evidence thus far.

Still it’s not all doom and gloom. The little piece of Wroclaw that is Szarlotka’s local pub (see previous Editions) goes from strength to strength. The Polish have learnt to play darts better and we Brits have taken the pool more seriously so a healthy inter EU league is emerging. This has lead to the first golf society tour ever to Poland from our lot being planned for the summer. Who cares how good the course is going to be, we just cannot wait to get our sad butts back to Poland again, well the three of us who have spend time there anyway.

Hasta la vista
Wroclaw 44 | 5,387
7 Apr 2008 #128
Woohoo - we've been given the Order of the Sticky.

And well deserved too.

Another grand effort.
OP szarlotka 8 | 2,209
7 Apr 2008 #129
And well deserved too.

You're too kind Wroclaw.....
El Gato 4 | 351
7 Apr 2008 #130
'The Stig'

You know...some say, his balls have their own gravity field...
Kev A 2 | 64
8 Apr 2008 #131
Very succinct.

Care to do a daily wrap up?

Given how busy people are these days, should that read warp up? lol

Kev
Mali - | 300
8 Apr 2008 #132
Great coverage of the election.

A Picture Paints a Thousand Words

LOL!!

This was the best one yet! Some rest did you well.
polishgirltx
8 Apr 2008 #133
yeah...good job szarlotka...as always...
OP szarlotka 8 | 2,209
9 Apr 2008 #134
Just about the 2nd last edition.

Ok I had too much Guinness that night. Also, I've always had an over active imagination. LOL

Welcome to PF Sophia

Election Special

Welcome to a rushed edition bringing you the consolidated view of the race to become PF’s best member. (Ed – define best and define member). You will all have noticed that about 90% of the input this week has all been directed at this thread. I know you can’t read all 4,876 posts and, if you are a new member, you wouldn’t be able to make head nor tail of it even if you did. So in the best traditions of ale fuelled, content light journalism The PF Omnibus Edition Team have worked through the night (Ed – tea break more likely) to bring you a succinct and easy to digest summary of this, the most important election since that to elect the new president of the Bexleyheath Womens Institute.

Some background first. Doggie G started the race with an apparently innocent request to find out whether he was still loved here on PF. Yes we know he phrased it in an abstract way but we all know it was a cry from the heart. Anyway, he got a few compliments and then a few others started suggesting alternatives for the PF pin up position (Ed - page 236 of the Kama Sutra). Before we knew it Seanus the sheep had arbitrarily declared himself the great power broker and within a few posts he was presiding over an official election to be El Presidente of PF with the annexed powers to maim, kill or banish dissenters following the official inauguration session down the Rose and Crown. In the finest traditions of project management everywhere, nobody has a clue as to when the cut off date for voting is going to be. Seanus stated “sort of Sunday”. The leading candidates seem to think it might be Saturday. Our bet is it will be when the Sheep gets out of the pub on Sunday afternoon. Probably best not to hang around waiting though.

There have been loads of fringe candidates. Some of them put themselves forwards (shameless hussies). Others were nominated along racial, religious or taste in vodka lines. Some were nominated by new members who thought that they had nice names, pretty avatars or that they were animals of every shape and size. There were brief bursts of excitement when the fringe candidates gained a few votes followed by the inevitable despair as the votes dried up.

Slowly a pattern emerged. Two heavyweight candidates arose from the general melee of ridiculous promises, brown paper bags stuffed full of Zloty and over kissed babies. On the one hand stood Doggie G. A new dog was revealed. Proud, humble, devoted to world harmony. Support for him came from surprising quarters. Daisy’s cats tried to vote for him. ShelleyS was vociferous in support of the well groomed and friendly doggie.

So things went well for the Doggie until a new heroine from over there emerged to face him down in the televised debates and challenge the validity of his proposed policies. Miranda quickly grew into a real threat and attracted support from all around the Globe (Ed – and the Rose and Crown?). The race has become too tight to call and this one will go to the wire. People have put their futures on the line in supporting one or other of these two. Sadly the on-line system to bring us the latest voting appears to have gone down so we cannot bring you the latest position (Ed – Seanus is down the pub then?). We have tried to conduct an exit poll but with little success. We interviewed noimmigration as he left the polling booth earlier but could not understand a word of what he said.

Rest assured the we here will bring you the latest news after it has happened
polishgirltx
10 Apr 2008 #135
did Guinness help you write this one too?
OP szarlotka 8 | 2,209
10 Apr 2008 #136
No I'm sober as a judge.

Just bored at work contemplating another three hours reading draft contracts !

See not all us Brits are work shy.
Mali - | 300
10 Apr 2008 #137
Some background first. Doggie G started the race with an apparently innocent request to find out whether he was still loved here on PF. Yes we know he phrased it in an abstract way but we all know it was a cry from the heart

ROFL!! I knew Greg was feeling unloved! Poor thing...*hugs*

We interviewed noimmigration as he left the polling booth earlier but could not understand a word of what he said.

Shocking!

ETA: Awesome coverage!
(but you forgot about the scandals...and DONKEY!)
miranda
10 Apr 2008 #138
but you forgot about the scandals...

shhhh........
Mali - | 300
10 Apr 2008 #139
It wouldn't be authentic coverage of an election without reporting ALL the scandals. People need to know about your affairs in order to figure out if you are worthy to represent them or not.
osiol 55 | 3,922
10 Apr 2008 #140
coverage of an election

Has anyone got a swingometer? Brown shoes are essential.
El Gato 4 | 351
10 Apr 2008 #141
El Presidente

If anyone is going to be called El Presidente, it will be me, or espana.

Everyone else will just have to settle for Mr. or Mrs. President of PF...

:P
miranda
10 Apr 2008 #142
It wouldn't be authentic coverage of an election without reporting ALL the scandals. People need to know about your affairs in order to figure out if you are worthy to represent them or not.

LOL

If anyone is going to be called El Presidente, it will be me, or espana.Everyone else will just have to settle for Mr. or Mrs. President of PF...

Oh, those power hungry people;)
Sophia - | 99
10 Apr 2008 #143
Welcome to PF Sophia

Welcome back, you mean? ;p

I was simply amused by my first mention in the omnibus, that I hadn't been around to see at first :)
El Gato 4 | 351
10 Apr 2008 #144
Oh, those power hungry people;)

Not power hungry...just hungry.
OP szarlotka 8 | 2,209
10 Apr 2008 #145
Welcome back, you mean? ;p

Doh,

"I will identify regulars on PF even if they change their user name and hide their identity in smarty pants avatars"

A thousand apologies......
Sophia - | 99
10 Apr 2008 #146
A thousand aplogies.....

Will one acceptance and forgiveness cover them all? :)

And nice new edition.
gdj67 15 | 154
10 Apr 2008 #147
Mmmm......no mention of the Donkey - I smell a rat - Are you on Mirandas pay role?
miranda
10 Apr 2008 #148
I smell a rat - Are you on Mirandas pay role?

nope, but you could be if you want;)-tax deductable.

Actually I want to announce that I haven't PMed anybody, nor paid anybody for voting for me. It is all volunteer work of good and honest people.

While Greg..........
OP szarlotka 8 | 2,209
10 Apr 2008 #149
no mention of the Donkey - I smell a rat - Are you on Mirandas pay role?

Shhh... the donkey is on an undercover mission. I can say no more

All my humble services to the new leader are on a voluntary basis... only essential expenses are reimbursed
gdj67 15 | 154
10 Apr 2008 #150
Shhh... the donkey is on an undercover mission. I can say no more

Ha ha, I get it now..........The donkey is on Mirandas pay role!

His mission, to discredit Greg with that disgusting vide!. Jeees shes a ruthless one.

I hope she paid you well Donkey?


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