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Modern parenting = bad parenting?

WielkiPolak 56 | 1,008
16 Jun 2013 #1
Just got back from Church, and I have to say, some of the parents these days just don't seem to have a clue. I mean, the screaming, stomping and shouting from their kids, is just ignored by them. I feel it is to do with the modern times. A lot of parents are afraid to punish their kids for doing something wrong, so they ignore it, with the old excuse of 'well, they're just kids.' I am not suggesting hitting them, but at least tell them off, or explain stuff to them. A lot of parents, at Church for example, seem more interested in smiling at their young, following them around, wherever their little one takes them etc. In that case, why bother going to Church, if you are even listening to anything, or taking part? It is not just Polish ones I am sure, but I notice them more, since I see them more often.

This is the same story in shops or other public places, the modern parent seems to have this overly generous outlook. I know they love their young, okay, but discipline is needed, otherwise we get some of the crappy, arrogant people that we have these days. I don't have kids [since I felt somebody would bring it up], but I still think certain stuff is obvious, whether I have had the experience or not. It amazes me, that in a fast world, where people are able to do so much, sort so much out, do their jobs well and keep their financial situation in check, they have no clue what to do, when their 4 year old starts screaming, shouting, or kicking some stranger, in a public place.
Polson 5 | 1,768
16 Jun 2013 #2
Don't tell me. I was on a plane a few days ago, behind me, there were two women with 2 or 3 kids. One of these kids -quite young I must say, but not an infant- kept crying so loud for most of the trip. All the lady said was an occasional 'shhhh'. Luckily, it was a short trip (2 hours). Phew. Later, they let their little girl (I'd say she was about 5-6, maybe 7) run and jump in the aisle, which would bother many people. Once again, of course, the two women said nothing. I even wished for some turbulences, so the kid would be forced to go back to her seat.

Of course, nothing really serious. But I understand the 'problem'. I assume many parents don't know how to react with their kids. They don't want to be too strict, but they sometimes get too passive with them, so the kids feel like kings, they feel they can do just anything. We have a word for this phenomenon in France, l'enfant-roi, child-king.
jon357 74 | 21,843
16 Jun 2013 #3
It can be hell to be on a long flight sat near someone who can't/won't control their kids. Babies will cry on flight, especially during take off/landing - the pressure change is extremely painful for them and raises the question whether or not it's wise for parents to subject them (and other passengers) to that, but at least it's usually only for a small part of the journey. That is no excuse though for people allowing their kids to annoy others. Last week I flew from UK to Poland and a woman with primary age kids were sitting behind me - one of the kids was banging repeatedly on the back of the seat and the woman actually took offense when I told her to stop the kid from doing that. In the end the cabin crew had to warn her to keep them under control.

Similar with bringing very young or badly behaved kids into restaurants - when people pay several hundred dollars for a meal they're buying into the whole ambience of the restaurant. They aren't paying to eat en famille with a loud family they don't know.
OP WielkiPolak 56 | 1,008
16 Jun 2013 #4
It seems to be 'politically incorrect' to say anything about another person's child, even if they are being very annoying. I think most of the time, a person will be patient and hope that eventually the parent will do something, but sometimes it never happens. Another method, something I have seen, if say, a child is running around a lot where it shouldn't be, is for another person to have a quiet word with the child themselves, and explain why it should not be doing that, rather than having to say something to the parent. This does not go down well with the parents either though, unfortunately.
Ant63 13 | 410
16 Jun 2013 #5
A lot of parents are afraid to punish their kids for doing something wrong

Afraid to appear as the ogre to the child.
ifor bach 11 | 152
16 Jun 2013 #6
Similar with bringing very young or badly behaved kids into restaurants

It's easy enough to suggest those with young children should be treated as pariahs if you don't have children yourself.
welshguyinpola 23 | 463
16 Jun 2013 #7
My children went through a biting period, I bit him back and he never bit me again. I a lso pulled his hair when he started pulling mine, he never did it again. Kids have to realise there are consequences to their actions.
Barney 15 | 1,586
16 Jun 2013 #8
You bit a child?
delphiandomine 88 | 18,177
16 Jun 2013 #9
It's easy enough to suggest those with young children should be treated as pariahs if you don't have children yourself.

Standards for good behaviour are universal.
Wroclaw Boy
16 Jun 2013 #10
Letting children kick the seats in front on a plane is a big no no. Having said that there are some right little bastads running around, they say children swim in the parents subconscious, so.....9/10 its the parents fault.
welshguyinpola 23 | 463
16 Jun 2013 #11
You bit a child

Very very lightly to teach him the consequences of what he does. He never bit me again
jon357 74 | 21,843
16 Jun 2013 #12
It's easy enough to suggest those with young children should be treated as pariahs if you don't have children yourself.

If someone lets their children run wild and deliberately disturb other people they deserve to be treated as pariahs. Perhaps I should take my dog with me and let it bark at them throughout a flight.
Amathyst 19 | 2,702
16 Jun 2013 #13
Parents want an easy life -. But what they don't realise is they are storing up more trouble.- setting boundaries and controlling a child from the outset is best for both the child and parent -my little boy is 10 months old and knows what NO means!
Polonius3 994 | 12,380
17 Jun 2013 #14
Already decades ago many Ameircan churches had 'bawl rooms' (pun intended!). These were small sound-proof glassed-in rooms at the back of the church where the liturgy could be heard over loudspeakers. Dunno if the parents of the kids got much out of mass, but at least it didn't distrub the rest of the congregation if the wee ioens bawled theri little heads off? Has anyone seen anything of the sort in Poland?
SeanBM 35 | 5,806
17 Jun 2013 #15
ATTRIBUTION: Attributed to SOCRATES by Plato, according to William L.
Patty and Louise S. Johnson, Personality and Adjustment, p. 277

Extract from a sermon preached by Peter the Hermit in A.D. 1274

Wroclaw Boy, I thought it was interesting in the zeitgeist movie about absent parenting. I think young people have it harder today than when I was a kid in many ways.

my little boy is 10 months old

A sincere congratulations on your recent baby!
Wroclaw 44 | 5,379
19 Jun 2013 #16
-my little boy is 10 months old and knows what NO means!

Best wishes to you and your little boy. - Polish comedy series directed by Patrick Yoka. Starring Małgorzata Kożuchowska and Tomasz Karolak. The series was developed on the basis of the Canadian scenario titled Les Parent.

The series tells the story of the divine, a family of five living in Warsaw. Lady of the house is Natalia (Małgorzata Kożuchowska), head of the women's magazine publishing. She is married to Ludwik (Tomasz Karolak), the architect. They raise three children together: Kuba (Adam Zdrojkowski), Kacper (Mateusz Pawłowski) and Tomek (Maciej Musiał).


Polish children at their worst and a mother who's always in tears.
It might be funny to Polish people, but it also shows that bad behaviour is acceptable.
Ozi Dan 26 | 569
19 Jun 2013 #17
Parents want an easy life -. But what they don't realise is they are storing up more trouble

I agree with you here. I'm guilty of taking this option sometimes, and letting the kids get away with things because it's simpler to just ignore it. That said, sometimes it is difficult to know which 'battle' to pick and which to let go - this is because I don't want to have the kids growing up and resenting me for trying to dominate and micro-manage every aspect of their behaviour. It's also difficult sometimes to draw the line between what constitutes boisterous behaviour and bad behaviour - I'd like to say I'm getting better at it!

my little boy is 10 months old and knows what NO means!

Congratulations Amathyst. I hope your little boy grows up happy and healthy. First child?
johnny reb 47 | 7,049
4 Feb 2018 #18
I think young people have it harder today than when I was a kid in many ways.

Back when we were kids we knew what bathroom to use.
Today gender ideology is based on the notion that sex (male or female) is not a biological function but is determined by cultural factors.
In a nutshell one can choose whether they want to be male or female despite physical and biological attributes.
Then add to it the helicopter Mom's that do everything for their children in fear they might get a bruise or their feelings hurt and you now have the classical infamous "Snowflakes" showing up in society.

It is getting harder and harder to be a MAN in this day and age when you have the pampered Snowflakes, the Feminists man haters, the LBGT who are so confused they don't even know what bathroom to use, the Politically Correct that teach their kids that some Mommy's have penises and that Daddy is a monster because he gives you a swat on the butt as a consequence for your bad behavior. (Horrors !)

Does anyone really wonder why the kids today have it harder then we did ?
Lyzko 45 | 9,281
4 Feb 2018 #19
Today's youth (even before the Millenials) are the result of a post-War malaise roughly corresponding, at least in part, with my "Four Coffin Nails" explanation for what is occurring nowadays: 1) the outbreak of suburbia, 2) the Woodstock Generation, 3) EST (Erhard Seminar Training), and last but not least, 4) the rise of Reaganism, in whose shadows were are still living (and on steroids) though the figure of Donald The Dastardly.

Yesterday's hellion has become today's "Leader of the Free World LOL!!!

Permissiveness on steroids, starting full strength by the end of the 60's, has finally morphed into a generation of clueless, chronically selfish, ahistorical, overly indulged, under entertained, often culturally ignorant beings, empowered by arrogance rather than abiltity and emboldened by work out rooms and botox (the women, that is), all the result of non-parenting of the worst order.

Ben Spock would be turning over in his grave.
johnny reb 47 | 7,049
19 May 2018 #20
Today's youth (even before the Millenials) are all the result of non parenting of the worst order.

That is because their parents generation not only worked very hard but also they could save half of what they worked for.
They knew how to live on a budget because of living through the Great Depression and going without.
The generation of, "children should be seen but not heard".
They wanted their children to have what they did not have so they spoiled them to the point of making them dysfunctional in society.
Most of these spoiled brats received huge inheritances which would be your generation Lyzko.
The next generation is what you call "Today's Kids" or your kids generation of "Children should be heard and seen to be glorified and put first !

Problem is their parents have spent all the inheritance and have gone in debt trying to keep up with the Jones's.

FACEBOOK will be a footnote in history on how QUICKLY it manipulated a generation of self conscious self centered BRATS to be MELT down 'candidates' and anti-depressant addicted psychopaths all teetering on the brink of coming apart at the least little "Difficulties" in their lives !

'LOOK AT ME...........LOOK AT ME !'
There was a poll taken of the youngsters: 68 - 72 % of them think that SOCIALISM is an 'excellent idea' !
Of course, that's because they live at HOME, (no bills to pay) FREE (read Socialized) Laundry, Meals, RENT,TAXI Service (Mom & Dad) .......
Parents give them POCKET Money, dissuading them from getting J.O.B.'s !
Free cable, free wifi, free cell phones, free designer cloths, phew.....
And add that to the Progressive Liberal Socialist propaganda that they are being brainwashed in our schools by our Marxist Commie instructors.
Each and Everyone one of them have a HUGE solid brick wall awaiting for them on their HIGHWAY OF LIFE (because of lazy bad parenting.............and they are ACCELLERATING !

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