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What did I do wrong? A Polish girlfriend doesn't want me to send her anything?


sniezyk 2 | 18
9 Dec 2011 #1
Hello everyone

So I have a Polish friend that I have been speaking with and she lives in Poland. I asked her for her address so I could send her something in the mail. She gave me her address and then I thought I better tell her that I am going to send her something from the States.

I thought it would be fun just to send her something from America but when I told her I wasnt just sending a letter she got mad. She told me she was dead serious and didnt want me to send her anything.... So did I do something wrong? I wasnt sending her a diamond or anything, just a little something for fun...

So I know we are from different parts of the world, but did I do something wrong here?

Thank you - Mike
Natasa 1 | 580
9 Dec 2011 #2
What did I do wrong?

You asked this question on this forum.

You'll see soon what was wrong with that move.
Havok 10 | 912
9 Dec 2011 #3
She doesn't want to feel obligated by your stupid presents. Do you live under a rock?
ReservoirDog - | 132
9 Dec 2011 #4
No, you didn't. I can't say why she doesn't want a gift from you. There can be many reasons: maybe has a husband?? or knows reputation of polish girls??or doesn't have money to send you a gift, or thinks you want sth more than be just her friend....really many reasons :)
Lyzko
9 Dec 2011 #5
Sniezyk, I IMMEDIATELY saw the problem, if only be glancing at your profile under "Znasz j. polski?", to which you responded "No".

Clearly, it was among other things, a language issue; you don't speak her language, and she probably doesn't speak yours with cultural fluency. Result? CULTURE CLASH, seen a bazillion times, my friend!!

Did you do anything "wrong"? 'Course not. You merely extended the hand of friendship and this woman's femaleness got in the way. She would've reacted the same way if she were American, French or whatever! She probably though would not have reacted with the same speed were she also American, for example, and not Polish-:)

Incidentally, she didn't do anything "wrong" either. It was just a case of a silly misunderstanding gone beserk (near as I can tell).

Don't let it get to you. Trust me, I had a German girlfriend when I was in my early twenties and she was but a few years my junior. Now, although we spoke the same language since she didn't really know English, we still clashed on a broad range of intercultural issues. We finally decided to call it quits.
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,839
9 Dec 2011 #6
So I have a Polish friend that I have been speaking with and she lives in Poland

u mean a cyber friend right?
Havok 10 | 912
9 Dec 2011 #7
, if only be glancing at your profile under "Znasz j. polski?", to which you responded "No".

you don't speak her language, and

LMAO

Znasz j. polski? Nope nie znam.

You guys are so silly.
Lyzko
9 Dec 2011 #8
Explain, please? Tak, znasz polski! Dlaczego "Nie znam."?

What pray tell is "silly" about missing cues? Are we all of us mind readers or are you among the chosen clairvoyants out there??
OP sniezyk 2 | 18
9 Dec 2011 #9
First, some of you people seem to be ******** and need to check your **** at the door. If you dont have something polite to say then dont say anything.

Yes she is a cyber friend that speaks PERFECT english. I told her I did not want anything in return and this was just some American souvenirs.
Lyzko
9 Dec 2011 #10
PERFECT English? Cyber friend?

Hmmm. methinks here might be the rub, old man-:) She obviously misunderstood your completely innocent intentions. Had you explained them (more realistically perhaps, HAD them explained) to her in Polish, she more than likely would have been touched, albeit slightly embarrassed, maybe therefore reluctant to disgrace herself by saying the wrong thing.
OP sniezyk 2 | 18
9 Dec 2011 #11
Old man....Im 36, shes 28....
Havok 10 | 912
9 Dec 2011 #12
Yes she is a cyber friend that speaks PERFECT english. I told her I did not want anything in return and this was just some American souvenirs.

LMAO, you're so full of it dude. So you're trying to score with a chick and she is not buying it. What's so hard to understand?

let me ask you a question, how did you know how to answer a question on your profile that was in Polish?
pawian 177 | 14,597
9 Dec 2011 #13
Did you do anything "wrong"? 'Course not.

You merely extended the hand of friendship and this woman's femaleness got in the way. She would've reacted the same way if she were American, French or whatever!

It means the guy did make a mistake.

I told her I did not want anything in return and this was just some American souvenirs.

People always say this and then expect gratitude.
Lyzko
9 Dec 2011 #14
Being sarcastic, that's all. Where's your sense of humor there, fella?
Heavens we're a trifle thin skinned nowadaysLOL
OP sniezyk 2 | 18
9 Dec 2011 #15
Havok

You can stick that gold medal up your ass buddy.

It takes a real genius to copy a word and paste in the Google search to find out what it means....
Lyzko
9 Dec 2011 #16
And what "mistake" was that, if you don't mind my asking?
(If he can answer this one, he's good-:) )
pawian 177 | 14,597
9 Dec 2011 #17
So did I do something wrong? I wasnt sending her a diamond or anything, just a little something for fun...

Black leather strings?
Lyzko
9 Dec 2011 #18
Pawian, Sniezyk's only mistake was mistaking this girl's misimpressions, that's all. He's NOT in the wrong. This was HER perception (not always the reality)!
OP sniezyk 2 | 18
9 Dec 2011 #19
Well I didnt know what I did wrong there, but I REALLY dont know what i did wrong here. All I did was ask a simple question and get attacked for it....
Lyzko
9 Dec 2011 #20
I'm not attacking anybody, pal. I'm merely tryin' to help out by sharing the benefit of myexperience.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,385
9 Dec 2011 #21
but when I told her I wasnt just sending a letter she got mad. She told me she was dead serious and didnt want me to send her anything....

a signal that she may be in a relationship.

or a signal that she thinks you are getting to close.

a friend on the internet usually means just that... friend/someone to chat to.
OP sniezyk 2 | 18
9 Dec 2011 #22
Thank you Wroclaw, thats really all I was looing for..

Lyzko, I wasnt talking about you, thanks for the help...
Seanus 15 | 19,706
9 Dec 2011 #23
IMHO, you did nothing wrong. I've seen the famous 'flip' numerous times here. You think all is well and 'boom', you are public enemy no1. Head up and move on. Who wants to be with a headcase?
Lyzko
9 Dec 2011 #24
Then just perhaps that ought have been made clear from the outset. Allright, I'm 52, slightly older generation when people did weird stuff like meet at parties, at the bakery, hotel lobbies etc... Internet dating?LOL Always a bit dodgey, I'd expect!
Lyzko
9 Dec 2011 #25
Sure appreciate it, Sniezyk! Good luck and no hard feeling either.
Seanus is right. Anyone that explosive's bound to be a plain ol' nut job))))
aphrodisiac 11 | 2,443
9 Dec 2011 #26
So did I do something wrong? I wasnt sending her a diamond or anything, just a little something for fun...

you did nothing wrong. She was rude and I would be wondering if she is genuine friend.

That is all.
OP sniezyk 2 | 18
9 Dec 2011 #27
Seanus, thank you

Lyzko, and everyone else for that matter....This woman is just a friend.....we are not dating....not talking about getting married.....never going to meet.....she is just a friend whom I chat with and nothing more....

We have never spoke about anything close to dating, and Im not iinterested in dating someone that lives on the other side of the globe.

I was just offering her a couple American items, I thought it would be fun...
Lyzko
9 Dec 2011 #28
See, Sniezyk?? And that coming from a native Polish woman! You're hereby 'absolved' of any alleged wrongdoing-:)

Trzymaj siÄ™, buddy! = Take it easy!
pam
9 Dec 2011 #29
just from a female point of view, how long have you been chatting to your friend? if its not been too long, then its understandable she may well be wary about receiving something through the post. to be honest if it were me i would probably be a bit wary. from her point of view, ( and i dont know what type of site you met her on) maybe she thinks she will be obligated to you in some way....if it were me though i think curiousity would get better of me. just apologise and hopefully you will remain friends
OP sniezyk 2 | 18
9 Dec 2011 #30
Thank you Aphrodisiac


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