+1
Bieganski wins another thread.
To avoid getting pulled back into the past, set your mind and heart on creating new memories together. Exploring new happiness will help your relationship mend and move on greatly. Go on dates, get romantic and become better friends than before!
This is excellent advice. No relationship is too 'old' for dates. And they don't have to be big elaborate things, either; just make sure you make time for each other and have fun together. The second half of that post though... paiwan, are you ever going to get the memo that her boyfriend didn't cheat on her?
We've been going through a crisis for at least a year. And it's not that we argue or something, we just don't seem to need each other that much anymore. We still can have a laugh together and enjoyable conversation, but it's more what you would have with an old good friend rather than with someone you LOVE.
If you ask most couples who've been married for forty or fifty years to describe their relationship, it wouldn't sound that different, really. Passion ebbs and flows, and ultimately the sexuality fades, but it's deep friendship and trust that keeps people together for decades.
Two months ago I fell in love with a Slovak guy (and his crazy, crazy language). We did not have an affair; or rather we had what's called an emotional affair. He was here only for a short while and we met shortly before his departure back to Slovakia. He promised he would come back (promises!). He was to me like a second sun on the sky, when he was around I couldn't stop smiling, his touch made the world melt around me.
The most important indicator of where your priorities are is who you go to in your darkest hour when you really need support. Maybe you haven't been tested to find out recently, but imagine you lost your job or your father died or whatever you can make work in your own mind. Who would you want to talk to about it? Who would be the person with whom you'd try to find some measure of comfort? If you'd go to your boyfriend, then your relationship may be stronger than you realise; if you'd go to the Slovak guy, then you've got a problem.
Is there anything we can do to make love stay? Or is it just the way it has to be - that love is going to desert us no matter how hard we try to hold onto it. Or is it because I'm Polish, unfaithful, and my heart is a gypsy?
You need to sit down together and have another talk. You need to figure out what you both want out of the relationship and then see how well they mesh together. It sounds like perhaps, whether consciously or not, marriage is important to you, and the fact that you're not married is colouring the way you look at things, but perhaps the whole institution of marriage isn't something he's interested in. I obviously have only bits of the story to work from, but I get the feeling that, had you gotten married say three or four years ago, you may well consider yourself happily married today. Or maybe I'm wrong, but you need to sit down together and work that kind of thing out.
EDIT: Your username has officially annoyed me.