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How do I tell her how I feel? Working with a Polish woman.


brumdave 1 | 7
21 Nov 2012 #1
I had to register to see if there was any advice I could get on a Polish girl from work who I like but is leaving on Friday and going back to Poland.. It's a bit long, sorry.

I've worked with Polish women before but never really seen what all the fuss was about with them from my mates. All that changed when I started work at my current job. From the first time I saw her, I just thought she was perfect and I couldn't stop staring at her. Eventually she noticed me looking at her and we started having lots of eye contact, sometimes too much. This went on for months and I could not tell if she liked me or was staring at me because I was staring at her. So I guess I didn't feel confident enough to speak to her and then one day she started saying "hi" to me in the mornings and the eye contact continued. I finally got to work next to her a few weeks ago and at first she seemed really moody, sitting next to me with her back facing me. For days I could not say anything to her that was not work related until a point where the frustration was driving me nuts, so I just started talking to her about personal things like where she lives etc. After this her body language towards me changed, her body, knee's and toes etc were always polorised in my direction even when she was standing and talking to someone else with little glances over at me. She was much warmer towards me as well, even offering to pour my drink in the canteen during break. There have been lots of other things as well but I can't tell if she likes me or is just really friendly as I know people from other countries have different customs etc so I could be interperating these signs wrong. I'm not even sure what my question is really but on Tuesday I found out she is leaving at the end of the week and I almost fainted on the spot. I guess I just want to know should I take the signs I'm getting from her the same way I would an English girl? I mean how do you know if a Polish girl likes you and is it worth telling her how I feel even though she is leaving, and if so how do Polish girls like to be approached?
Wroclaw Boy
21 Nov 2012 #2
Jesus man get in there - whats wrong with you, ask her out tomorrow.

its simple "what are you doing tonight?" and "would you like to go for a drink with me?"

You have nothing to lose, nothing at all. You have a LOT to lose if you don't do it, a lifetime of regret - ohh yeah believe that.......
kaz200972 2 | 229
21 Nov 2012 #3
Just go for it! WB is right you have absolutely nothing to lose and possibly everything to gain.
Good luck, keep us all posted!
TommyG 1 | 361
21 Nov 2012 #4
I mean how do you know if a Polish girl likes you and is it worth telling her how I feel even though she is leaving, and if so how do Polish girls like to be approached?

Polish girls are just like any other girl. Nationality is not important when it comes to dating. However,:

From the first time I saw her, I just thought she was perfect and I couldn't stop staring at her. Eventually she noticed me looking at her and we started having lots of eye contact, sometimes too much. This went on for months

You fancied this girl from the word go. Other than 'stare' at her you never made a move. And this went on for months? Was she single this whole time? Unfortunately, now she is leaving...

Sorry to say it but you left it too late. Next time you see a girl you like (Polish or otherwise) just count to three then make your approach. Never stare though lol:)

Good luck! Hope it works out for you. If not, there's plenty more fish in the sea:D
rybnik 18 | 1,462
21 Nov 2012 #5
I got so frustrated with you Dave after reading your post!
I've been in that exact situation back in the day and I have my regrets.
You see, I didn't act.
Don't be a pajac (dummy)!
If anything, get her contact information!!!!
By the sound of it she wasn't turned off by you SO you have a shot.
TAKE THE SHOT DAVE...........good luck
keep us posted please
shewolf 5 | 1,077
22 Nov 2012 #6
Don't feel bad, brumdave. She probably knew she was going to leave and that's why she kept her distance. Just tell her you're sorry that she's leaving and that you wish you could have known her better. Ask her if you can call her or write to her when she's gone.
OP brumdave 1 | 7
22 Nov 2012 #7
Thanks for the replys guys.

Well, it must have been God's intervention because today I got to work next to her again. We talked more today than we have done in the total 6 months or so we have worked together. She was telling me about her life and the more she talked, the more I liked her and knew she was my "type" Anyway, I asked her what she was doing this weekend and she said 'visiting friends' and then I asked 'what do you normally do on the weekend' and she said 'nothing' and then I asked if she had a boyfriend and she said 'no' and then I asked why not and she said 'it's not just that simple, and do I have a girlfriend and why not' Instead of saying something cool and confident like 'because you're the only woman I want' I just said 'I dunno' lol. Anyway, about 15 mins before the end of the day and in front of 3 other girls, one of which started laughing when she heard what I was saying, it just kind of popped out. I asked her if she wanted to go out with me sometime. She looked kinda stunned but was smiling and said 'what do you mean' I said 'like a date, to the movies or something' She said she is busy with packing and her family is coming over to take her back so she wont have time, but she said thank you for the invite. I said 'cool, I just needed to tell you I like you before you left' She said 'I know' and smiled. It wasn't awkward afterwards, we just kept chatting like nothing was said. To be honest, I would have liked to have taken her out but I'm just so glad I asked because I would have been thinking "what if" for the rest of my life. I think I'm going to just give her my number tomorrow and just say 'if you get time, then give me a call, if not, cool' I actually feel kinda happy in a way because I guess the situation was more about me dealing with my fears than wanted to get with this girl. I'm sad she is leaving but good because I finally know. I still can't believe I did it in front of the other girls and didn't even feel embarassed lol.
rybnik 18 | 1,462
22 Nov 2012 #8
. I still can't believe I did it in front of the other girls and didn't even feel embarassed lol.

Good for you Brumdave, good for you!
kaz200972 2 | 229
22 Nov 2012 #9
Well done mate! hope thetwo of you keep in touch at least.
TommyG 1 | 361
22 Nov 2012 #10
Well, it must have been God's intervention because today I got to work next to her again

It was God's intervention several months ago, allowing you two the chance to meet! (But you blew it!) Still, I hope it all works out for you:)

If it doesn't, don't worry, you'll meet someone else.
But, seriously. I was like you and didn't even talk to a beautiful Polish girl at work for 2 months because I thought she must have had a Polish bf. But really I was just shy. Anyway, the first works do I was invited to I went. And there she was! I sat awkwardly opposite her for about 2 minutes whilst other guys tried it on with the worst small talk and lines I've ever heard.... lol:D

Fortunately, I switched the conversation to Polish and moved straight in there. Blew the competition straight out. And the rest as they say is history. We had 3 wonderful years together:D

I'm now living in Poland and loving it! Do you think that I would even hesitate for 6 seconds (let alone 6 months) to talk to someone I fancied? Nope. You need some self-confidence, and maybe some game.

Anyways, gimme a PM if you wanna chat.
SeanBM 35 | 5,808
22 Nov 2012 #11
How do I tell her how I feel?

Singing telegram.

Or I can do it if you like? the Singing telegram bit, I mean.
berni23 7 | 379
23 Nov 2012 #12
LOL
Or just change your FB status. :D
Wroclaw Boy
23 Nov 2012 #13
That sucks mate, i honestly thought you were onto a winner there, (her leaving or not) - once you popped the question obviously. I would have put money on her saying yes, but then again we only have your observations and they were probably a little inaccurate.

This finding a life partner business is not an easy task, keep it up - you'll get there.

Also come back if she changed her mind i'm still not giving up on that one.
OP brumdave 1 | 7
23 Nov 2012 #14
She left today and to be honest, it hurts a little knowing I'll never see her again. But I'm not so upset they will find me hanging in the toilets at work with a sign around my next saying "because of the Polish girl" Life goes on and I don't regret meeting her :)
NorthMancPolak 4 | 648
24 Nov 2012 #15
Take it as a lesson learned for future reference - remember, the early bird catches the worm ;)

However, as a cynic with many years of experience of Polish women, one could argue that you've been saved the indignity of being dumped when she decides to go home to be nearer to "mamusia", admits that she's actually got a husband back home and wants to give it another go, or offers you the... ahem... "choice" of moving to Poland with her (or it's over if you don't). And you won't have to learn what words like obowiązek alimentacyjny and sąd rodzinny mean :D

Good luck next time though ;)
Dorota Gouveia - | 8
28 Nov 2012 #16
And you won't have to learn what words like obowiązek alimentacyjny and sąd rodzinny mean

Jezus man.. You ruined it for me! I was smiling all the time until I read THIS.
OP brumdave 1 | 7
2 Dec 2012 #17
I sent her a friend request on facebook about 3 hours after I last saw her which was the day she left work. I was depressed all week at work thinking she ignored it and then the other day I logged on and found she had accepted my request. I felt really happy knowing that we can still have some sort of contact, but sad because I don't know when I will see her again, if ever. I sent her a message trying to explain how I feel about her and why I never talked to her all that time. I'll update when she replies :)
rybnik 18 | 1,462
2 Dec 2012 #18
That's good news.
Hopefully, you'll be able to visit her...................keep us posted!
OP brumdave 1 | 7
2 Dec 2012 #19
If she wants to see me then I'll be on the first coach out of here. I'm ready to quit my job if I'm being honest as money has never motivated me, only love does. I'm just trying to work out the cheapest and quickest way as we speak :)
TommyG 1 | 361
2 Dec 2012 #20
I'm ready to quit my job if I'm being honest as money has never motivated me, only love does

Are you two in love now? I thought you just had a crush on a colleague;)
Well if you go and she's not interested, just go to the nearest nightclub and I'm sure you'll find hundreds of more girls just like her:-)

Take lots of cash and some warm clothes;)
OP brumdave 1 | 7
2 Dec 2012 #21
"inlove" is a bit of a strong phrase mate and I'm not interested in going clubbing as it was never about sex, I was already boning one of the other eastern europeans from work. some women are just special, I hope you too realise this one day. If you thinking going clubbing and preying on druken women is having "game" then I'll leave you to it mate :)
TommyG 1 | 361
2 Dec 2012 #22
Hey mate I was just messing with you.

I was already boning one of the other eastern europeans from work. some women are just special, I hope you too realise this one day

I do realise that some women are special. In fact, I think that they are all special in their own way.
If this girl was so special to you then you wouldn't brag about 'boning' other girls whilst having your staring competitions with this girl.

And FYI, I don't pray on drunk girls and never have done. But, I also don't spend 6 months 'staring' at girls who I like then come on an internet forum crying about it when she goes home.

For me that's a little bit sad. I hope you too realise this one day;) I hope for this girls' sake that you are not a stalker...
OP brumdave 1 | 7
2 Dec 2012 #23
No, you just brag about blowing the competition away by speaking Polish...blah blah blah :)

I don't brag or try and belittle people in front of an audience, I just state facts.

And not all women are special, some are just boring and ordinary as are most men, but if you're a guy who has not had much experience with women then I guess you would see them all as special "in their own way"

Bro, you said to ask you for advice but like I say, going to a club with lots of cash full of drunk women is not really my style or what I would consider having "game" Like I say though, I'll leave you too it.

'stalker'? dude, stop hating, it embarassing.
TommyG 1 | 361
2 Dec 2012 #24
First of all you know nothing about me. You are just making assumptions.
You seem to think that women are just sex objects but I don't.
Well, good luck with your 'girl', make sure you follow her page on FB then you can find out the minute she finds a boyfriend;)

But I'm not so upset they will find me hanging in the toilets at work with a sign around my next saying "because of the Polish girl"

If I bump into her I'll give her your love;)


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