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Problem with my Polish boyfriend


drew123 1 | 15
29 Dec 2011 #1
Hi everyone!

i need your help please.

...im having problems with my boy friend. He left to go back to Poland in November and should be back in February.

We spent 8 lovely months getting to know each other, but since he's been home it's like we are living two separate lives. He told me that we would talk every night but that's just not happened.

He's taken to ignoring my calls/texts and even saying he has left his phone at home or at his sisters... iv asked out right if he is with someone else but he say's no.

The thing that's really upsetting me is that when I ask what he's been up to or plans for the evening he just say's he with his friends, he wont tell me their names when I ask.. I just find that weird.

I called him the other night and he did not answer, but I got a text saying that he was at his friends and would I mind if we talk tomorrow as he was in bed watching titanic and playing on the computer at his friends house...

I know for a fact that he would not be happy if I did that to him... it's like one rule for him and another for me.

i just feel like im hitting my head against a brick wall!
Harry
29 Dec 2011 #2
I know for a fact that he would not be happy if I did that to him… it’s like one rule for him and another for me.

So treat him the way he treats you. He doesn't exactly sound like much of a catch, at best.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
29 Dec 2011 #3
There's quite a bit of that around, the suit-me suit-me approach. Casual flings seem to be on the increase.
Wroclaw Boy
29 Dec 2011 #4
stop the calls, stop the texts, stop all contact from your side and don't even think about sending a new years text or making a new year call.

You cant convince somebody to do something they dont want to, try the above for a couple of weeks as see if anything comes back, if it does great, if not hes probably not interested.

watching Titanic around his friends house!! who does that?
OP drew123 1 | 15
29 Dec 2011 #5
watching Titanic around his friends house!! who does that?

you just made me smile for the first time in a couple of days thanks!!! (that's what i was thinking!!)
hythorn 3 | 580
29 Dec 2011 #6
looks like he has someone back home

watching Titanic at a friend's house are not the actions of a heterosexual male
Seanus 15 | 19,706
29 Dec 2011 #7
Titanic is for girls, period!
OP drew123 1 | 15
29 Dec 2011 #8
im a girl... and i don't like it.
Wedle 16 | 496
29 Dec 2011 #9
as he was in bed watching titanic and playing on the computer at his friends house

Did you get that sinking feeling?

The advice you have been given by Harry,Seanus and WB is the way to go, as an add on - He has just slotted back into his past, old friends male and female, family, Parties and being the man about town. Polish men are mummy's boys they like to get someone else to do the dirty work, Nov - Feb - seems like a brush off to me, out of sight out of mind.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.
OP drew123 1 | 15
29 Dec 2011 #10
ok, thanks..

and yes i did get the sinking feeling.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,387
29 Dec 2011 #11
i just feel like im hitting my head against a brick wall!

you didn't mention that special call at christmas. if you didn't get the call....
southern 75 | 7,096
29 Dec 2011 #12
He is probably in the lap of his polish kochanka.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
29 Dec 2011 #13
Yup, southern is right. They need to get their end away (as the saying goes) and cheating will do just nicely for them :( :( Sad but true!
OP drew123 1 | 15
29 Dec 2011 #14
yes i did get the call at christmas, thanks for your reply's but i really dont need to hear that he is with someone else.

i may have not been Special to him, but he is to me.

Appreciate your comments but I think I will just leave it at that as it is very upsetting for me.

Thanks again.

actually im going to disagree.. i dont think he is cheating on me. he is not like that.
we have made plans for next year and they are going to happen.

i think we are just a problem at the moment thats all.
Harry
29 Dec 2011 #15
i dont think he is cheating on me. he is not like that.

You mean he doesn't have a penis?

Sorry to break this to you but men cheat and Polish men do even more so than the average man.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
29 Dec 2011 #16
People can surprise you in many ways, drew. Many people could never imagine me going to a woman of the night but.....(it's in my past).

We tell ourselves the best of lies (Nightmare, The Dreamtime, Motorhead)
Magdalena 3 | 1,837
29 Dec 2011 #17
men cheat and Polish men do even more so than the average man.

Another wonderful generalisation from the Master Troll.
ShawnH 8 | 1,508
29 Dec 2011 #18
Sorry to break this to you but men cheat

Agreed.

and Polish men do even more so than the average man.

Source?
OP drew123 1 | 15
29 Dec 2011 #19
magdalena - are what do you think.. are the guys on here right?
Wroclaw Boy
29 Dec 2011 #20
are the guys on here right?

If youre an annoying over possessive women, constantly texting and calling etc.. he might just be trying to get some freedom back.

we have made plans for next year and they are going to happen.

Thats not a good thing to say.

Plus theres always two sides to a story.
OP drew123 1 | 15
29 Dec 2011 #21
theres always two sides to a story.

i understand that and yes i probably have.
Wedle 16 | 496
29 Dec 2011 #22
i may have not been Special to him, but he is to me.

Drew123, We may have got it all wrong, if you want to know if there is a chance with the relationship, just book a return ticket to Poland, here are the links to two cheap airlines from the UK:

wizzair.com
ryanair.com/en

You would most likely do it for about 50-60 UK pounds return, tell him you will be arriving on the dates and ask how, he wants to do it, if he starts to make excuses and hole you up in a hotel, away from his family and friends, you know the real deal.

You can tell us which town/city he lives in and we can advise on the nearest airport.

Good luck
OP drew123 1 | 15
29 Dec 2011 #23
Thats not a good thing to say

i was just trying to be possative thats all.
southern 75 | 7,096
29 Dec 2011 #24
He may return to you if you offer better services than his Polka.
Harry
29 Dec 2011 #25
Source?

Zbigniew Izdebski, whose 2011 survey showed that one in five Polish men had cheated on their wife in the past 12 months.
OP drew123 1 | 15
29 Dec 2011 #26
He may return to you if you offer better services than his Polka.

your not very nice.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,387
29 Dec 2011 #27
He may return to you if you offer better services than his Polka.

can't you take anything seriously. drew123 is upset.
Wroclaw Boy
29 Dec 2011 #28
You would most likely do it for about 50-60 UK pounds return, tell him you will be arriving on the dates and ask how, he wants to do it, if he starts to make excuses and hole you up in a hotel, away from his family and friends, you know the real deal.

nah thats such a bad idea at the moment, just play it cool (no contact) and see what comes back, give him back some of his own medicine. If that doesn't work maybe try Wedle's plan.

He may return to you if you offer better services than his Polka.

If you got nothing constructive to add Southern go and do us all a favor and slice some more doner kebab meat for a few hours.
PennBoy 76 | 2,437
29 Dec 2011 #29
Titanic is for girls, period!

Yea might as well be watching the Notebook.

...im having problems with my boy friend. He left to go back to Poland in November and should be back in February. i just feel like im hitting my head against a brick wall!

Well you shouldn't jump to conclusions or stalk him that will make him like you less. It all depends on whether or not he'll come back to the UK. Does he look at you like he sincerely likes you and is into you? Or just faking it?
OP drew123 1 | 15
29 Dec 2011 #30
book a return ticket to Poland

we already talked about that and both came to the decision that i shouldn't visit till next september.. but the reason he went home was because his flat is run down (in the old quarter of przemysl) and he is working on it, it's just him and his mum at home..

quote=PennBoy]Well you shouldn't jump to conclusions or stalk him [/quote]

guess not.. but being intrested in what someones doing wrong?

Does he look at you like he sincerely likes you and is into you? Or just faking it?

he isn't faking it. he's one of my best friend's.. that's why it's confusing


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