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Portuguese Boy with a Polish Girl - she is more conservative than others. How to approach her?


Portugueseboy
5 Nov 2015  #1
Hello everyone ,
Its the first time that i write on a forum like this, i am a Portuguese guy doing Erasmus in Spain i've meet tons of polish people actually i am living with a polish girl to.

The girls that i meet from poland are "normal" girls , they like to hang out go out data a litle bit as you should one Erasmus :)

But i meet this polish girls that is driving me crazy (in a good away) , she is completly diffrent off all the polish girls that i meet since today.

She is very kind ,cute of course , and funny (the other polish girl are to) but she is a litle bit conservative we have been talking every day, in the 30 we had a party (halloween) and when we were going she was very shy and said that she couldnt go she was very embarrassed she told me that was agaisnt her belives cause of religion. She goes every Sunday to the church and i am way sure that she just dont want to make out.

I am really liking her i would like to know what are your advise to date a girl from poland that is more conservative ?

Thank you for all the help :)
cms 9 | 1,272
5 Nov 2015  #2
Well if she is shy and doesnt like halloween then why not invite her to do something low key - coffee and a walk in the park ? I dont think its anything to do with her nationality !
Levi 12 | 450
5 Nov 2015  #3
The girls that i meet from poland are "normal" girls

So for you conservative people are "abnormal" ?

My family have roots in your country (Borba) and we are pretty conservative. Are we also abnormal for you?

I am really liking her i would like to know what are your advise to date a girl from poland that is more conservative ?

Respect her.

And call her out for a coffee. For sure you can find many interests in common.

Actually, if Portugal didn't turned into another country destroyed by socialists and left-wingers at the Revolucao dos Cravos, you would find that Portugueses and Poles share many similarities.

Boa Sorte.
jon357 63 | 14,110
5 Nov 2015  #4
was agaisnt her belives cause of religion. She goes every Sunday to the church and i am way sure that she just dont want to make out.

FFS why not find one who gets down on her knees for reasons other than praying in church. Unless that's what you want of course in which case you'll have to court her in a (very) old fashioned way.

Though if she's so frumpy that she disapproves of Halloween, you may want to look elsewhere anyway.
Levi 12 | 450
5 Nov 2015  #5
FFS why not find one who gets down on her knees for reasons other than praying in church.

As he said, he liked her.

Something unimaginable for you, whose for some reason hates Catholics or non-muslims in general.
jon357 63 | 14,110
5 Nov 2015  #6
As he said, he liked her.

It looks like she doesn't like him very much, doesn't it.

If her religious observances are a stumbling block, as he mentioned he has got (as I said) two choices. Live with that and have a hard time, or move on to someone less frumpy.
Levi 12 | 450
5 Nov 2015  #7
It looks like she doesn't like him very much, doesn't it.

The fact that a girl doesn't open his legs for a man at the first date DOESN'T MEAN that she didn't liked him.
kaz200972 2 | 229
5 Nov 2015  #8
T

I think you have misinterpreted what Jon357 is writing. It is unusual for even devout Catholics to say Halloween parties are against their religion. The Catholic church down the road from me organises one every year! apparently the priest is a real fire and brimstone type too!!

It's likely that the lady in question enjoys the OP's attention but either has a boyfriend already or doesn't fancy the OP enough for a date?

@Portuguese boy, just ask her if she'd like a coffee/tea one break/lunchtime/after college, you'll soon find out if she's genuine. Don't be too upset if she's not interested; most females enjoy a bit of flattery as long as it doesn't go too far, doesn't mean they want a romantic relationship with the man though. :(
jon357 63 | 14,110
6 Nov 2015  #9
The fact that a girl doesn't open his legs for a man at the first date DOESN'T MEAN that she didn't liked him.

What first date? She turned him down!

He offered Halloween, she said (accurately or not) that she didn't want to for religious reasons. She did not suggest an alternative.
InPolska 11 | 1,821
6 Nov 2015  #10
sorry, but nobody here knows the girl, the boy and the exact situation so no need to extrapolate anything or its contrary! Without extrapolating, the girl may not be interested in the guy and she does not know how to say it in order not to hurt him. That's the way most of us girls do, when we are not interested, we find excuses to escape. Guys are unbelievable, they do not think 1/2 second that girls are sometimes (or often) NOT interested in them. A lot of guys have such a marvelous opinion of themselves that they do NOT expect any girl not interested in them.

Maybe (and probably) the girl is not interested and no need to extrapolate as to her supposed or real religiosity! She has the right to accept/turn down guys.

The guy is still young, he'll recover quickly and will find someone more suitable. Like said "un(e) de perdu(e), 10 de retrouvé(e)s" - "one lost, 10 found" :)

PS: such situations do happen millions of times every day around the world so nothing to do with Poland. A girl does not like a guy and that's it. It's amazing to read all these macho guys here, they never think that a girl may not be interested in one of them....
Portugueseboy - | 3
6 Nov 2015  #11
First of all would like to thank you for the replies,
Secondly Levi i am sorry if i expressed me wrong , i don't think its abnormal, i am just not use to it.
We didn't go to the party but we had dinner in my flat and we stay there talking till 4/5 am , the next 2 days we went out to a party.

We have been talking everyday and i don't want to rush it cause i don't feel she is ready or want (one of both) , with another girl i would already made a move for good or bad.

Since i am one Erasmus and well ... its Erasmus i never thought going to like someone like this "she's 1 in a million girl".

I just wanted to know if there anything that she might fill uncomfortable doing? or if there is some different way to approach her.

Thank you for the help :D
Levi 12 | 450
6 Nov 2015  #12
We have been talking everyday and i don't want to rush it cause i don't feel she is ready or want (one of both) , with another girl i would already made a move for good or bad.

That is a good attitude.

What first date? She turned him down!

As you can see above, you were wrong. (AGAIN.)
Ktos 17 | 456
6 Nov 2015  #13
Polishboy to Portugueseboy - my advice is that you should take this girl to counselling, obviously she is not quite normal and needs therapy, western therapy, of course. It is absolutely ridiculous not to attend Halloween fun, how could she? Some Polish are just immature, you teach her the right way and talk some sense into her.
Crow 137 | 7,522
6 Nov 2015  #14
How to approach her?

don`t approach to her. Very simple. Go found some Paki girl. i heard they are also nice
Ktos 17 | 456
6 Nov 2015  #15
Very wise advice Crow. Also, I heard that Afgan girls are equally hot and now you will surely have a chance with Syrian chics, so go crazy Portuguese Boy. You deserve better than some church going abnormal Polish backward weirdness reminder of a woman, get yourself some proper European woman or the new European woman, modernized Ukrainian, the best would be the one hating Russia. I wish you all the best with the biggest feminist you could find in the our backward East so that she reminds you more of your beloved, liberal Portugal.
Portugueseboy - | 3
6 Nov 2015  #16
Well i think that you understand me wrong, i am liking this girl and i just dont wanna do something that could upset her up or insult her. I asked one this forum because i thought that could be so proper manures or costume that i didnt knew about Polish person just that.
Totti
6 Nov 2015  #17
"proper manures" - haha, good one...
InPolska 11 | 1,821
7 Nov 2015  #19
@Portugueseboy: are ALL the Portuguese girls the same? No, they are all different from each other and so are Polish, Greek, Bolivian, French, Tanzanian, etc ... girls/women and even men. Some Polish (and whatever nationality) girls jump to bed on the very first night (I know a lot of Poles who do) and some Polish (and whatever nationality) do not and play hard to get (I know a lot of Poles like that too) or even have "problems" like the girl you are talking about (or maybe she just likes you and does not want to go further and that's her right to fall in love or not). Nothing to do with being Polish, Chinese, or whatever!

I can tell you either the girl does not want you/is not ready or she has psychological problems and all this has NOTHING to do with her nationality. If she does have psychological problems, better to run away and look for some "normal" girl, from whatever nationality.

I understand that you are very young but please, grow up, people are not any special because of their nationality! Poles are normal human beings, just the way Portuguese and any other nationality are and among Poles, you find everything and contrary. Logical! ;)

In conclusion: good luck (with or without her) and you message have nothing to do with Poland. You should post in some "lonely heart" column in any cheap feminine magazine.
Levi 12 | 450
7 Nov 2015  #20
I understand that you are very young but please, grow up, people are not any special because of their nationality

Actually there are different traits and common patterns among nationalities. And doesn't mean that all Portugueses or Poles are the same among them, but means that there is a probability of find some kinds of behaviour X, Y or Z within a group much higher than outside this same group.

Really, i don't know why people insist to deny that.

Said that, i don't think that the difference between Portugueses and Poles are so significant (even they, in fact, existing). Maybe if we were talking about someone from a Yanomami tribe of the outskirts of Amazon, than it would make sense.
InPolska 11 | 1,821
7 Nov 2015  #21
@Levy: don't play with words! In your nationality, for instance, do all people believe and behave same way? I doubt it. Of course people have things in common when brought up/educated in a given area but there is NO national characteristic for personal relationships, including sex. People are not clones. Since it is POLISH forum, believe me, some girls are hot and sleep around, some girls don't and sometimes prefer to wait until they are married to have sex and I even know quite a few (old maid) Polish women aged 45 and + who are ... virgins. All the Polish men I have met (my husband was Polish) don't have the same characteristics either. This is so in ALL nationalities. Thus, you cannot say German husbands are this way and Greek wives are that way ;). People who come up with such stupid theories base their beliefs upon 1 or 2 examples they know; not only a whole social group can be judged upon 1 or 2 examples and also people tend to mingle with people of their kind. In my case, in Poland, I don't mingle with bigots and with any sort of extremists (I mingle also with gays) and as a result they don't act, react, and even think the way the Poles you or someone like Pol3 or Johnny Reb may have come across ;). In conclusion, completely stupid to judge a whole group based upon 1 or 2 elements. Seems logical to me but .... ;)
Levi 12 | 450
7 Nov 2015  #22
@Levy: don't play with words! In your nationality, for instance, do all people believe and behave same way?

Did i said that?

Actually, did you read the part where i said: "And doesn't mean that all Portugueses or Poles are the same among them, but means that there is a probability of find some kinds of behaviour X, Y or Z within a group much higher than outside this same group."

??

Do you know what means the word probability, right?

Thus, you cannot say German husbands are this way and Greek wives are that wa

No (and i didnt said that you can, just in case your lack of interpretation skills didn't let you realize that)

But you have patterns that have higher probability of appear in certain groups than others.

Example: The chance that find a unpunctual brazilian is way more higher than the chance of find an unpunctual swiss. That doesn't mean that all swiss are punctuals. But we are talking about big numbers, not singular cases.

Same applies to an infinite number of characteristics.

And, among those characteristics, is the approachability of a person.
InPolska 11 | 1,821
7 Nov 2015  #23
@Levi: I am talking about attitudes in personal relationships, including sex. And saying that Greeks do X and Norwegians don't do Y is completely stupid. I was married to a Pole for close to 18 years (am a widow) and I have seen tons of Polish couples or Polish-something else couples and trust me, nothing particular because X is Polish and Y is British or Z is Bulgarian in terms of their relationships. The other day, one girl wrote that her Polish husband did not want to buy more expensive potatoes and my (Polish) husband systematically bought whatever was the most expensive (believe me, sometimes I panicked ;)) and often said that I don't spend ... enough money (nice to have such husband and anyway, I could not put up with someone who counts groszy ;) ;). Thus, just in the particular situation, 2 Polish guys react in different manners and this is so in all national or social groups ;). A lot of Polish guys do drink alot but there are some who don't drink any alcohol (I know Polish men who don't drink anything stronger than ... tea). I know Polish women of the "I'll ask my husband" type and some who are very independent and have their own life even if married. Generalizations are anyway completely stupid and only come from ignorant people.

The Polish girl may be shy, may have psychological problems and it has nothing to do with being Polish; believe me some Polish girls are rather "audacious" and some of them are even ... slu@@@ts and this is so in ANY nationalities. Some years ago, I worked with some teenage ... Pakistani girls and believe me, they were not "shy" with boys.... ;)

Have a nice day (am leaving now)! :)
Veles - | 164
9 Nov 2015  #24
Conservative Polish Catholics do not accept Halloween - they may be brainwashed by our church of thieves claiming it's a sin to celebrate this holiday.

What to do in cases of girls who are conservative? Simply, be gentle, accept their views, do not focus on yourself and your needs.


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