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Been seeing a great guy from Poland.. but there are issues with his ex.


Guest
13 Oct 2010  #1
I have been seeing this guy from Poland since March. He's a great guy, I could not have asked for a better guy. He's funny, smart, responsible, loving.... I have to say I have fallen deeply in love with him.... head over hills I would say; however, there is a little issue with his ex. with whom he has a 7 year old girl, let me tell you she is very much presen (his ex)to the point that her possesiveness has left me wondering if it's has been really over between them or if he still harbors feeling for her. We have had a great time when we're together, but his ex uses their daughter to get in the way of our relationship. Last weekend we had a huge blow out.... and he hasn't talk to me since then. the major reason for this "argument" was that -she, the ex- was in his apartment, to which I was appaled, we lived in opposite sides of the country and after a few months of dreaming and longing to be withthe man I love and lust for, it was not boing to be possible because not only has she been waiting for him, but been telling stories to his daughter to make the 7 year old question the love for his daughter. the odd thing is that according to my "boyfriend" she is married. Now I know he is a great responsible father and I love him and admite for that so very much, but I don't know what to do. He's shut me out now, and won't talk to me. I have the feeling his ex is threating from keeping the child from him if he continues with our relationship.

I hope that all this time he wasn't lying to me, but I know that we connected and I like to think he has feeling for me as I do for him. Now, I am asking for advice from any Polish point of view.... should just let it be. I don't know....wha to do... I have been crying for the last 4 days, have barely slept. This is hurting a lot.

Is it normal that he will not just say anything at all? or should I just wait....
Thanks so much!!!
...
13 Oct 2010  #2
Move along. If he can just shut you out and he can't stand up to his ex, something just doesn't jive.
Marika - | 10
13 Oct 2010  #3
You are right. I think the same.
poland_
13 Oct 2010  #4
His Ex is married, she is married to your bf. Wake up
A J 4 | 1,088
13 Oct 2010  #6
I have been crying for the last 4 days, have barely slept. This is hurting a lot.

Love is for suckers.

;)
Harry
13 Oct 2010  #7
His Ex is married, she is married to your bf.

Sounds like the situation to me.
jonni 16 | 2,485
13 Oct 2010  #8
Yes. They have a seven year old child together, so there can never be the same degree of separation between them as if they had been just ships in the night. If you take a guy on who's in that situation, you have to respect the reality of his life and never, ever question or criticise any dealing he may have with the mother of his child from the point of view of your own emotions.
pgtx 29 | 3,159
13 Oct 2010  #9
or should I just wait....
Thanks so much!!!

run away girl...!!!
Polish women are mental and Polish men are cheaters and liars...
f stop 25 | 2,513
13 Oct 2010  #10
if he is as good of a person as you described him, then given the choice of his child or his lover, of course he will choose the child. Somehow you have to figure that into your relationship, if there is still a chance.
A J 4 | 1,088
13 Oct 2010  #11
run away girl...!!!
Polish women are mental and Polish men are cheaters and liars...

Careful honey, you're starting to sound like a sane person.

;P
Barr_2009 1 | 252
13 Oct 2010  #12
run away girl...!!!
Polish women are mental and Polish men are cheaters and liars...

you make joke?
pgtx 29 | 3,159
13 Oct 2010  #13
and what do you think...?
Barr_2009 1 | 252
13 Oct 2010  #14
i think make joke

i'm very sory pgtx, please excuse me
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601
14 Oct 2010  #15
He's funny, smart, responsible, loving.

So far you are describing me.

head over hills

"head over heels" (that's always been an odd saying since it would be more correct to state, 'heels over head' to express something like 'upside down n love. In 1864 Thomas Carlyle used the phrase correctly in his "History of Frederick the Great")

his ex uses their daughter to get in the way of our relationship.

the ex- was in his apartment,

Those comments look very related. Was the ex there to pick up the kid? Are you (perhaps) a bit jealous of the attention he gives his child?

He's shut me out now, and won't talk to me.

Are you the one who began the argument? Were you more emotional than him?

I have the feeling his ex is threating from keeping the child from him if he continues with our relationship.

She can't legally. ... unless there is something in your past which can hurt him.

should I just wait....

Write him a letter expressing your sincere feelings (no e-mail which is too impersonal).
Attempt to be the woman you want him to think you are (that last one is the most difficult).
chiqui869 - | 5
16 Oct 2010  #16
Thanks to all!!! I think Jonni and Zimmy have described the situation as my "bf" would see it. It was never my intention to put him in that situation. I am a single parent too and would never even dare do something like that. I can see how he could have felt that I was making him chose. His ex is not Polish, she's Filipino and I've had the pleasure to see her in "action" she treats him like ****.... and uses their daughter to manipulate situations to her advantage, this being one of them. She was just being a beyotch and it got the best of me, and I guess she won :( I have told him that I adore the fact that he is a very commited father.... it kind of turns me on ;) I have been making very naughty moves on him, & he was enjoying my wicked mind... idk....I haven't heard from him and this happened last Thursday. I love this guy, he's great in everyway. Hence the reason I asked here on this forum. See, I am from Colombia and we are very expressive in every way and it's puzzling for me when he juist doesn't say anything.

I want him to know that I would never make him chose because there is no need for that. these are two different kinds of love.... The ex was waiting in the apartement, his daughter was in school. She got in because she knew I was coming to town. She has keys because they split custody and in case of any emergency. She took advantage of that to sabotage our reunion. I am going crazy. He means so much to me.... Seriously, if he doesn't come back.... I'll have to find me another Polish guy.... because this man was perfect in every way ;)

thanks all!!!
I do appreciate all the advice, please if you have any insight in how to get him to talk to me I appreciate it.
Xoxo!
poland_
17 Oct 2010  #17
if you have any insight in how to get him to talk to me I appreciate it.

Invite him over get him on the marching powder and then introduce him to " banio maria " it will work every time
chiqui869 - | 5
17 Oct 2010  #18
Warszawski! I don't get it... it must be a Polish joke or your way to tell me to give up on him?!


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