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SAYING "SORRY" TO A LADY RAISED IN POLAND FOR SOMETHING I SAID


smellywelly 1 | 4
2 May 2010 #1
HI TO YOU ALL.

I NEED SOME ADVISE I WORK WITH A POLISH LADY AND WE HAVE BEEN GETTING ON REALLY WELL AS FRIENDS SHE HAS ALSO MEET MY FAMILY AND I HAVE MEET HER HUSBAND AND CHILD AND WE HAVE INVITED THEM ROUND OUR HOUSE FOR DINNER .WE TALK AND JOKE ALL THE TIME.I HAVE SAID TO HER ME OR MY WIFE COULD PICK HER BOY UP FROM THE CHILDMINDER AND IT WILL SAVE HER SOME MONEY.SINCE THEN SHE HAS CHANGED I HAVE SAID SORRY TO HER BUT SHE SAYS ITS OK.

BUT NOW SHE HAS CHANGED SHE JUST SAYS HELLO AND DONT SMILE AND REALLY DONT WANT TO TALK. WOULD IT BE A GOOD IDEA TO BUY A GIFT TO SAY SORRY OR SHOULD I JUST LEAVE IT CAN ANYONE HELP

THANKS
Wroclaw 44 | 5,385
2 May 2010 #3
BUT NOW SHE HAS CHANGED SHE JUST SAYS HELLO AND DONT SMILE AND REALLY DONT WANT TO TALK. WOULD IT BE A GOOD IDEA TO BUY A GIFT TO SAY SORRY OR SHOULD I JUST LEAVE IT CAN ANYONE HELP

you've said sorry, she's made up her mind about it, that's end of story. usual politeness from now on.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
2 May 2010 #4
I don't see any big mistake here. Distance is always advisable when the moods of women are involved.
plk123 8 | 4,149
4 May 2010 #7
sorki. she's polish.
asik 2 | 220
4 May 2010 #8
BUT NOW SHE HAS CHANGED SHE JUST SAYS HELLO AND DONT SMILE AND REALLY DONT WANT TO TALK. WOULD IT BE A GOOD IDEA TO BUY A GIFT TO SAY SORRY OR SHOULD I JUST LEAVE IT CAN ANYONE HELP

Leave it as it is!
Especially, don't buy her gifts because it'll make things even worse and questionable.
Anyway, why do you feel you need to buy her gift??
Your Polish lady co-worker and her husband probably don't want to keep any closer relation with you. Maybe her husband doesn't like you to be her friend instead of a co-worker.

On the other hand, that's normal Polish behaviour, some couples like to keep to themselve only.
nymph888 2 | 31
4 May 2010 #9
You've offered with good intentions... And you've said sorry
feeling that she would have been hurt? Hmm... Yes,
usual politeness can be done from now on... Maybe
this is a way of life events telling u that there are still
stuff you gotta know from a friend coworker 

friendship grows deeper in such encounters... As long as
actions done with good intentions...
OP smellywelly 1 | 4
4 May 2010 #10
hi thanks for the adive from you all and asik the gift idea was just a thought in polish culture when entering some ones house for food you bring flowers or wine and after the meal a few days later you send a thankyou card in england we would only bring a bottle of wine none of the rest.polish culture is different to ours in many ways

I hope one day she will talk and tell me what has upset her honesty is the best way but for now I will just be polite.

advise is always welcome
zelezeleze
5 May 2010 #11
smellywelly
Hey, I think her proud suffered when you said she would safe some money. It was like indicaing she's poor, she cannot afford something what is normal to others (non-emigrants). Then don't give her any gifts it really make it worse, like you feel pity to her or mercy or something. so it's better not to show Poles that you bother aobout their money - they can manage it good, although they really has often less money than other people. But they don't like to have this pointed out. So just be nice to her, and try to ingore her coldness. After some time it will just past away, and she willl forget and forgive:) and you will be normal friends again.
OP smellywelly 1 | 4
5 May 2010 #12
Hi,zelezeleze thanks for the post well I did not mean anything by saving money I would not have said this to her if I thought she was going to think I was saying she is poor.I would never say that to anyone.
Trevek 26 | 1,702
5 May 2010 #13
smellywelly,

it is surprising how easy it can be to offend some (Polish) people who you would think would understand our humour. Sometimes I've said the most innocent thing and it has been widly misinterpreted. Many Poles are very touchy about ideas of 'poor Poles', especially some who have had to go abroad to find work.

I think there's been a lot of good advice. Least said soonest mended.
Benjaminpm 2 | 8
5 May 2010 #14
Distance is always advisable when the moods of women are involved.

so true!
Seanus 15 | 19,706
5 May 2010 #15
Otherwise, you could end up in a long and strung out argument over virtually nothing. They'll remind you of a bad deed you did before without mentioning all the good things you did.
Amathyst 19 | 2,702
5 May 2010 #16
Just my 2p worth..

You kindly offered to her help and said it would save money (bonus!)..I personally wouldnt take offence at that, Id think it was sweet that you and your family were being so thoughtful. If she has taken the poodies over it, then leave her to sulk!
OP smellywelly 1 | 4
6 May 2010 #17
hi Amathyst

well I thought thats what friends do help each other below is a quote from Jim Rohn.

"It's amazing when strangers become the best of friends but it's sad when the best of friends become two strangers."


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