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She has planned it from the beginning? Husband's daugter living in Poland with her mother.

3 Oct 2012 #1
I was wondering if any of you could help me, my husband has a daughter who currently lives in Poland and we are in the U.k. the mother of the child registered the child's birth here in England in 2008 along with my husband, just a few weeks after the child was born the mother was applying for a British passport for the child to take her back to Poland stating she would return in 2 or 3 months my husband working couldn't go with them and said he would visit a few times. She was crying when she left England as if it was 'the last goodbye' my husband went over to Poland twice giving the mother hundreds of pounds for the child and once he returned, emailed or phoned every day to check on the child and mother, he later received a phone call saying they weren't returning. he offered to go and live over there and get a job to provide for them both etc. and got told by the mother he would have no where to stay and it wasn't a good idea, he asked if there was anyone else and got told she had a met a 'friend' whilst they had been apart at this point my husband knew it was over and wanted to remain in contact with the child as her father. the mother begun ignoring his phone calls/emails etc she replied twice asking for money and then stopped contact, my husband flew over to Poland to have the door shut in his face and none of her family wanting him there so got an earlier flight home. the last time he saw his daughter was on her 1st birthday in feb 2009. he then received a court order for him to pay child maintenance and attend a court hearing in Poland and England which he was quite happy to do however he got made redundant from his job and became unemployed for a while. he wrote back to the court, took copies of everything and sent the letter by recorded delivery stating he could not attend the hearing in Poland as he had no money for flights etc. but would be attending in England and to let him know of the decision made. Since 2010 he had heard nothing with regards to the hearing he sent another letter which got sent back unopened and decided to do nothing further. Until 2012 two and a half years later when he received a court order from England stating he owed £4586 a.s.a.p as it had been backdated and £127 per month are they even able to do this after no communication for nearly 3 years?? we wrote to the court acknowledging the letter and decided to seek legal advice from a family law solicitor, since 2010 my husbands circumstances have changed dramatically for instance he is now married to myself, we have a child together, we took out a loan to get married etc and have other commitments such as rent, council tax etc. we rely on my husband working overtime and myself to earn commission from my job to get us by on a monthly basis, we have no extra money for hand outs. My wage counts towards his in-comings regarding the maintenance which i think is slightly wrong, our solicitor said she isn't qualified in polish law so cannot give us any advice rather than to get a good polish lawyer on the case (which we cannot afford) My husband knows as a father he does have an obligation to pay maintenance just like he has fathers rights to see the child etc, however he can't just jump on a bus to Poland as because of lack of money cannot afford flights, accommodation etc aswell as the mother not allowing this. We also received ANOTHER court order just a few weeks ago which came direct from the polish courts dated the 22.05.2012 and translated into English in August 2012 depriving my husband of his fathers rights due to lack of contact with his daughter, and the mother wanting to change the child's surname back to hers stating it was stressing the child out trying to pronounce a double-barreled surname and because of lack of contact and communication from my husband and his family (even though his mum & dad, grandparents, sister and himself all email asking for photographs, send money presents etc over every year for Christmas's birthdays etc according to the child's mother not amounting to no more than 5GBP haha! what a joke)they said we had to appoint an attorney over in Poland to stand for us and reply to the letter within 30 days for a start we don't know anybody in Poland and is it 30 days from when the court order was dated? 30 days from when it was translated into English or 30 days from the date we received it??? The courts are only interested in enforcing the maintenance they are not bothered about personal circumstances, what has happened in the past etc. had my husband of known when she left that they weren't returning he could of legally had the child brought back to England under the HAGUE convention which only allows one of the parents to take the child out of the birth country for so long before it is classed as abduction. On top of all of this the polish courts are stating my husband has to pay HER court costs!!!

Can anybody out their who may have had a similar experience please advise us on the next steps...It sounds to me like she has planned this from day one I don't know how anybody can say they love somebody that much and leave with their child only weeks old and mess up somebody's life so much, I may be biased but my husband is a fantastic father to our son and i couldn't wish for anything more from him.
3 Oct 2012 #2
Oh dear, that lot really is not good. Can you wait until tomorrow when I get to a proper computer? I'll try and help then. OK?
pgtx 29 | 3,159
3 Oct 2012 #3
VD23, I realize that your budget is tight, but maybe you should hire a lawyer who knows best those issues.
Patrycja19 63 | 2,700
3 Oct 2012 #4
if he is the father, then he should pay for her support, she didnt stop being his daughter when the mother slammed the door in his


we have no extra money for hand outs.

This statement is so wrong, especially if your talking about a child whos situation could be yours.. would you want
his wife ( if the situation was switched) to say this? the child is still his daughter and he is responsible for her, its not
about anything else, he could have just sent her money all along and then the amount wouldnt be so much.

hopefully you dont experience the same.

I wish you luck but the children are innocent in these cases and its sad that you dont see this for his daughters sake thats your

daughters half sister, so you should understand she also needs care and her stepfather ( if his ex remarried ) isnt responsible
for her, the father is responsible.
4 Oct 2012 #5
VD23: in order to avoid unnecessary comments (and insults), perhaps you could send me a private message to reply to? I'm not really comfortable sharing publicly info that may help you. Although I'd be commenting from the exact opposite to your position.
Patrycja19 63 | 2,700
4 Oct 2012 #6
in order to avoid unnecessary comments (and insults),

I didnt insult, I was on that other end of the stick, in need of help from the father, and he got a lawyer and the lawyer got money

but bottom line is, if its your child, your responsible, the judge cant take more then you make, but hes not going to just say awww

poor you and not order some support, even if its not that much , least its something.

my ex tried the same thing, he wound up paying more for a lawyer and didnt need one, so he wasted more money for nothing

and still has to pay. sounds like the laws are the same. BUT he should have visitation, every little child deserves to be with their

daddy as well. its just a unfortunate situation.
delphiandomine 83 | 17,863
4 Oct 2012 #7
My first feeling is that the child probably isn't even his.
aphrodisiac 11 | 2,444
4 Oct 2012 #8
and the mother is looking for extra cash:D
delphiandomine 83 | 17,863
4 Oct 2012 #9
Quite possible - the family courts will always assume "rich bastard foreigner".

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